The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Purefilth]

It varies man, you have to get up and keep your mind occupied. Don't sit at home dwelling - get out and discover something fun to do.

I can guarantee that the more you dwell on it the worse it gets. If your head does go there, focus on the bad parts of the relationship - remember the worst parts of her.

 

[obloquy]

Day 5,
Feeling a bit better than yesterday , thank god. Angry as hell...at my self, at her, it varies. So many things left unsaid. The urge to contact her is somewhat increasing, but I know it would be disastrous, and NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Have no idea why I would want to get back together with her, but the though is always on my mind. Has to be the sex IMO, but who knows, maybe her company too. Ha, she is such a b*tch, why would I miss her company, why do I constantly think Im in love with her when I know im not, well maybe I am. I sometimes break out laughing at the contradictions, just to be followed by a hard minute of solitude in which I proclaim my love for her over and over in my head, so crazy. I try to think of the bad parts of our relationship, there were many, but all of the sudden they have seemed to vanish. In their place other good memories that I had forgotten about have come back, this is unacceptable for me, but there they are. Guess it dont matter why, Im torn and mind****ed at this time. Confused, and just need a moment of clarity. B*tch got me hard, hate to hand it to them. At least today when I looked back at my single life before, it began to look in a positive light.
Time to get up again and do my ****.

 

[Hiker]

Hey obloquy,

You aren't alone. I can relate with just about everything you wrote.
I'm also hurting, but things are getting better, so keep that in mind. You'll recover, just like I will.

Right now, these women are like drugs to us. They're bad for our health and yet, we still want them. This really is like overcoming an addiction. We have to clean our systems of these succubi.

Make a list of things you don't like about her, your differences, the red flags, and reasons the break up is good. Keep it on you and go over it when you start feeling like you want her back. Posting it here might also help.


I'm on Day 21 of NC. She has called, left messages, and texted a bunch of times but I haven't seen or heard any of it. These things get deleted right away. It is empowering to do this.

 

[fuko2007]

Day...5 NC.

Its been 5 days since ive talked to the bpd woman. Starting to see some of my old self return only to be set back by a memory of a good time she and i had. I dont know why i think about that its like ive forgotten all the messed up stuff she did to me and all the pain she caused.

Trying to keep myself busy and what not it works sometimes and it doesnt at others. But to the two posters behind me i wish yall luck. It sucks loseing somebody you thought you loved even if they betrayed you in everyway. I know sometimes you find yourself wondering why do i still care?

Dont let anybody tell you to just get over it bc they would be lieing if they said they could. Its hard and thats what this site is for. its for support and advice on these types of things. The thing that bothers me the most is i know she doens not care and i know she is out sleeping with other guys right now.

But im going to go spin some plates and have a good time myself. i wish you guys the best and hope yall start to feel better. keep posting each day and say how you feel.

 

[obloquy]

Day 6 yay!

Today has been weird. Woke up in pain but managed to put it away for work. For some reason now I have an internal biological alarm clock, I wake up very early (6 or 7 am) for no reason at all, as if gasping for something (her!), then I cant go back to bed. At work today I got interrupted by my thoughts but not as much. The thought process is indescribable, all sorts of ****, even stupid **** I had forgiven her about and forgotten myself, keep coming to the fore. Guess my mind got tired of the big **** ups she did and is now moving to smaller stuff, this is probably good news. NC is awesome cause I don't know anything about her and she has no idea of my suffering, which I feel is actually helping! Win win situation. Last night the urge to contact her was quite strong, I even though of sending her a poem, right before I started literally laughing at myself. Today I have not felt any urge to contact her. Exercising is great for this ****. Been exercising more than I usually do since day 1, and although it did not make me feel better the first couple of days, I can now feel the cumulative positive effects after my workouts, which is an added bonus. I did have to lay down for an hour today after work when a particular wave of pain came crashing in, but was able to let it pass. I believe that my suffering peaked at day 4, and now is waning a bit. Day 4 was stupefying. I feel positive now but it seems hollow, so I’m super paranoid that another whole phase of suffering is getting ready to be unleashed on me in the next couple of days, (hopefully it won’t be as bad). Thanks to Hiker and Fuko2007 for the kind words, I will make that list of red flags, stay strong.

 

[fuko2007]

Day 7.

Its been one week now since we have talked. I saw her driving down the road the other day and i had a girl with me in my car. Part of me hopes she saw her and part of me does not. I went to a ****tail function lastnight with a girl and had lots of fun. But for some reason an old memory will pop up and remind me of something she and i had done togther.
It comes in waves it seems. But ive been talking to about 6 diffrent women over this past week and just seeing whats out there. But you know it feels good to have them compeating for my time and attention and not the other way around like it was with the ex-bpd. Im starting to regain my alpha spot in this town. I jump out of airplanes for fun haha. And im not playing when i say that.
So i guess im starting to see what she did to me. She took my sence of self idenity away and basically remolded me the way she wanted me. Submissive, not arguementative, not wanting to go out, etc. I remember i was the guy that everyone wanted to talk to because i did intersting stuff all the time. well guys its game on and game time.
And to the poster above me put your game face on and as an old Army Colonel told me one time while i was siitng in his office before a review board
" Sometimes life can be like a sandwich. Be it turkey roast beef etc what ever you like and you eat it and enjoy it. And sometimes it can be a SHI* sandwich but either way you got to take a big bute out and chew it up and force it down. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER" end quote. with that said put your game face on and go do something this weekend

 

[Hiker]

Good for you Fuko! Get back out there, man!

When you jump, ever imagine pushing the ex out of the plane? :kick: .....



Somewhere on this forum I read that the pain from a breakup will come in waves/cycles that diminish as you face them and time goes on. I am finding this to be true. There are times I feel like sh1t, but those moments are becoming fewer and far between.

 

[obloquy]

Day 8,
Day 7 went by a bit sadder that day 6. Seems the anger that got me through day 6 dissipated. Today im sad about the whole thing, trying just to bury her somewhere deep in my heart. It is over and I don’t expect to ever see her again. At least now I’m beginning to accept the whole situation. It’s a sad affair given that we had some great times. I am extremely proud of going NC with this one, as begging, pleading, then waiting with my heart in my hand, then begging and pleading some more is always a recipe for disaster, even if you do get her back. Best NC and walk away with at least the seed of you dignity, to be replanted and to grow stronger. Although I still harbor resentment and anger, and sometimes want to bury her in a ditch somewhere, most of the time now I just want to forgive and forget and move on, and learn the lessons this relationship has show me. I will go out this weekend for a low key hang, just to see my reaction to the whole social scene, have a few beers, maybe dance with some girls, take it from there.

 

[fuko2007]

Good for you Fuko! Get back out there, man!

When you jump, ever imagine pushing the ex out of the plane? :kick: .....



Somewhere on this forum I read that the pain from a breakup will come in waves/cycles that diminish as you face them and time goes on. I am finding this to be true. There are times I feel like sh1t, but those moments are becoming fewer and far between.

Thanks man for the support. The pain does come and go in waves and cycles. I think its really triggerd by the enviroment your in to be honest. If the invroment reminds you of a place that you were with with your ex it triggers that emotion. but anyway yeh i often wonder how charitable i would find myself if i were at 14000 feet in a plane about to jump and she was there with no parachute. decisions decisions...haha

 

[Aintnoeasywayout]

Day 7...

Weren't dating yet but we were screwing..Knew I liked her and I wanted more. Broke it off the day after valentines saying she was asked out by someone she had an old crush on and she wanted to pursue it at this time. I told her good luck see you around.

 

[L_T_D313]

Day 18

This fuccking sucks yo. I thought I was over her but it all came back to me as I realized she's not coming back. She initiated contact twice. On feb 7th she texted but I couldn't read the messages the app (number blocking app prevents from unwanted calls and texts notifies you when the number you added contacts you.) blocked me from seeing the contents; which is weird because I wad able to see all other messages. It must have been faith telling me something. She texted again on the 11th the app allowed me to see these messages. "What's your address again? I lost it." I did not respond. Jesus I want to talk to her again but then again why go through the same vicious cycle. I know I should go talk to other dames but still my game is on some days and off the next. Though I have a few chicks I can call up anytime who want the d I'm going no pmo so it'd be a lost cause. I just wonder if she ever thinks about a brother still. Her bDay is in april though I originally said I'd hit her up I will not I refuse to go back. I'm only 19 there will be plenty of more females I just have to be patient and focus on school.

 

[User]

Day 1
I've been lurking on this site for a while and I guess it's time for me to check in and throw my chips in the pot with everyone else's. we broke up last week and I actually initiated NC and that lasted all of 6 days. I've screwed 2 chicks since then but I'm always thinking of her. I broke NC for closure on my end. To see if I could ever get her back, and I was just tired of being angry. Well we spoke. And her attitude was nasty to say the least. And for me to allow someone to treat me with a lack of respect is not going to happen. I'll see her in the future I know for sure. All numbers and connections I have with her have been either blocked or deleted.

 

[L_T_D313]

Day 1
I've been lurking on this site for a while and I guess it's time for me to check in and throw my chips in the pot with everyone else's. we broke up last week and I actually initiated NC and that lasted all of 6 days. I've screwed 2 chicks since then but I'm always thinking of her. I broke NC for closure on my end. To see if I could ever get her back, and I was just tired of being angry. Well we spoke. And her attitude was nasty to say the least. And for me to allow someone to treat me with a lack of respect is not going to happen. I'll see her in the future I know for sure. All numbers and connections I have with her have been either blocked or deleted.

Good job on the banging out on the chicks. The women are almost always bitter after the breakup. It's best to just steer clear of the ex as much as possible. Breaking NC only does 2 things either give you false optimism or breaks your heart again and causes you to give her all the power.

 

[madein lisboa]

i will never forget this spell caster

After i and my lover spent about 6 years together, my boyfriend told me that we can not be together. and already We were making ready ourselves to get married this year and I was very happy and absolutely ready to marry him. this breakup started when he went a little far from the city where I live, a year before. He found a good job out there. And he promised me to come back in one or two years. In the mean time, I found a job around his place (we take it as a good opportunity for us to start living together) but the company I worked for resist to leave me since i am a responsible person in the company. They offered me a very nice salary increment with huge responsibility of work. Then I told to my boyfriend I preferred to stay where I live and work, since, he has not a plan to live there forever. He was very upset at the moment and ignored me totally. I tried to contact him but I can’t. Following so much effort he sends me a message saying “our relationship is over”. I never expected such a thing to happen, so I got sick. Even after so much begging he allow me to see him, but told me the same thing that it is over. I asked him the real reason. He said, you never listened to me, you never gave me credit, and you disrespected me…..and so on. I never noticed such a thing in our relationship before, so I got shocked and couldn’t say a word in front of him. For me our relationship was perfect. And I really love him. I want to be with him. I send so many letters saying I’m sorry, I tried to contact him but there is no reply. i did everything to attract him and live with him forever but nothing was going through. so I needed a help on how to get my lover back. I had the feeling that he still loves me, though he did not say a word. I needed help seriously. i thought it will never possible to get him back and be the happy couple again? so when i read testimonies about dr.marnish@ymail. com i contacted him and he told me that my case is a simple one to solve, so after his consultation and casting of his spell my boyfriend emailed me telling me he was sorry for all that he did to me, that he is ready to marry me now, i was shocked, i never believed that dr.marnish could make such thing to happen with his spell, today i am getting married to my boyfriend, and i will never forget this spell caster i will always talk about him anywhere i go
whitney portia

 

[Desdinova]

Day 69 of NC. She texted me today asking if I had finished mixing the song that she had recorded vocals for and asked me to send her an MP3 of it. Then she sent a second text asking how I've been. I did not respond and I don't plan to. I have three other women on the go right now.

 

[Slick Mick]

Day 1
I've been lurking on this site for a while and I guess it's time for me to check in and throw my chips in the pot with everyone else's. we broke up last week and I actually initiated NC and that lasted all of 6 days. I've screwed 2 chicks since then but I'm always thinking of her. I broke NC for closure on my end. To see if I could ever get her back, and I was just tired of being angry. Well we spoke. And her attitude was nasty to say the least. And for me to allow someone to treat me with a lack of respect is not going to happen. I'll see her in the future I know for sure. All numbers and connections I have with her have been either blocked or deleted.

Great attitude!!! As hard as it is, don't break NC again, for your sake.. Work on you and don't ever let anyone disrespect you like that...Trust me, follow NC and shell eventually call and youll have the upper hand.

 

[Desdinova]

Des, why did she break up with you.....and why would she, how COULD she, reasonably expect that you would be doing favours for her after that?

When a woman does the breaking up, I think it's better to interpret it rather than take her words at face value. The way I see it, she was getting pressured by her parents and her oldest sister to drop me. She cares about her family's opinions and they were around her much more than I was, so I'm pretty sure she did it because of pressure. Now she's suffering the heartbreak.

It was quite unusual in the fact that she was extremely affectionate until the very moment that she initiated the break up. I didn't get any of the typical excuses (I like you as a friend, I need some time to myself, etc) and instead gave me reasons that her parents and sister were pushing onto her.

The girl who drove me to sosuave broke up with me as well, and that was my first experience with no contact. After two months, she ended up contacting me and I didn't respond. A month later, she contacted again, and I still did nothing. A year later, she wanted me back and requested to meet up with me. I did, but ignored her all evening by flirting and number closing other women in the venue.

This is just a repeat of what I went through before. It has nothing to do with the recording we made, she was just grasping at an excuse to contact me because she's missing me. I guarantee she'll do it again, possibly by asking for some of the stuff back that she left here.

 

[Ericgasak34]

Confused

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.

Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.

Hello,
I am in a situation here that I feel is just simply confusing here. My ex-girlfriend and I haven't spoken a word to each other in months like almost a year. She has moved onto another relationship and that relationship didn't work for her so, she processed to get in touch with me for some reason. I jsut can't figure it out. I find myself councling her about this guy she is all screwed over I am helping her locate this guy and I am just simply confused. Is it what I am doing right? Is it that what I am doing only going to hurt me in the long run? I don't know what I feel or what I should do. It's nice to see her again but it hurts to see her with someone else you know what I mean? Well, she claims shes not with him I don't really know. We've had sex twice and I don't know why? Maybe to contact this guy to rub it in his face? I don't know. What should I do? I only have ten minutes so I will have to write more when I get home... I value your opinion.. Thanks

 

[fuko2007]

Day 10.

The weekend was alright. It would have been better if my wing man was not in jail for some pretty stupid reasons on his part. he's a good guy just does dumb stuff sometimes that finially cought up to him. But anyway im starting to feel a tad bit better. I still think about her every so often and my gut starts to churn. Im thinking about her right now wich sucks. But it seems plates are falling out of the sky. i have several women constantly asking me to do something with them so i stay pretty busy most of the time.

i just hope that this is not delaying my healing process by just putting those feelings on the backburner. One thing that just stumps me is the fact that i can be talking to several women at the same time but still miss the ex even with the fact of what she did to me. But im going to go out with a new one tonight whom ive never met. something to look foward to i guess. i wish i could erase all my memories of my ex at this point. ive started that by taking all the stuff she gave me and put it out in our warehouse so its outa sight.
how long is this going to last?

 

[Desdinova]

One thing that just stumps me is the fact that i can be talking to several women at the same time but still miss the ex even with the fact of what she did to me.

I hear that. I'm currently dating four women and on top of that, the one who drove me to this site is chasing me again. But those two text messages I got on the weekend was like pushing the reset button. I'm all fvcked up over her again and it's been tempting to respond because all four of the women I'm seeing have traits that I don't like. M is a psycho, J has the same personality as my ex-wife, L is taking forever to put out, and S has the least attractive face of them all.

...and there's my ex whom I've had very little to complain about texting me.