That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
No. Forget her. There is someone better out there for you.soulforge said:She is on POF just a week over i ended it... should i even give a fuk? ?
Lozboss said:No. Forget her. There is someone better out there for you.
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
Mauser96 said:SO WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS?
soulforge said:She is on POF now looking for new dik.... lesson learnt.. never get emotionally involved with POF girls
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Walk away, especially if one is a novice/early stages of unplugging. Nexting a girl is essentially a muscle, requiring discipline to first build it up, followed by the discipline to keep it strong. Oneitis happens when this muscle has atrophied or has never been built up.soulforge said:How do you guys deal with ****y disrespecful girls? Do you next as soon as you see red flags... or do you keep banging it
Between_The_Lines said:Walk away, especially if one is a novice/early stages of unplugging. Nexting a girl is essentially a muscle, requiring discipline to first build it up, followed by the discipline to keep it strong. Oneitis happens when this muscle has atrophied or has never been built up.
There isn't a shred of honor in getting a piece of ass, no matter how exceptional, in exchange for your self-respect.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Sorry about this mate.drake33 said:Spoke to my daughter this weekend, she says she just misses me. Her mom doesnt let her come see me at work like she used to, doesnt let her call me, etc. I spoke to her mom and asked why and she said it wouldnt be fair to her boyfriend, etc. It was in that very moment, in that conversation last night, that I dug a grave in my mind and heart and have decided to place her in it. She's dead to me. I mean, what a ****ing piece of ****. Our child is more important than some piece of **** she dates, just like I have never and would never put any woman above our daughter. I've just decided to completely detach from her in every way. I wont talk to her again. She is nobody to me. Im moving forward with my life, to a greater extent than I ever did before. How long has it been? I dont know. Im just done. My daughter is my only priority. Her mom, is a corpse in my mind now. I have heard a lot of bad things about this guy she is seeing, and I just hope my daughter is safe. He can do what he wants to the ex. Onward and upward. With that said, this will be my last post on here for awhile. I want to thank everyone for their input and advice. All of the advice that I have received here has been invaluable. I need to take some time and truly heal and move on. I cant if Im constantly thinking about it and bringing it up. I plan to post in here and update you guys on the situation and how Im feeling. Stay strong bruhs.
Welcome to our forum and sorry to hear about your saga. Of course she blames you (by 'not listening'), 99% if women will queef up some kind of blame out of their tw@t and blame the man (or beta lesbian ) lolAllin said:Initiating NC . Day 0...
Well.. Lost the girl of my dreams 2 weeks ago. I'm 32.
I was actually going to propose in 2 months (after 3 years). I tought everything was all right. Turns out things were not allright at all. Got dumped, biggest surprise of my f*** life. She told me that things began to fall apart a year ago and that she tried to tell me but I would not listen. In retrospect, I was a terrible boyfriend and I actually knew it. I just tought that she loved me so much that I could get away with being a jerk. I learned a lot on myself.. Won't act like that with the next girl.
But god dam***, it hurts like s***, she was awesome and I blew it.
Funniest thing, I can't even go full NC mode because she still has some big furnitures to take out.
PS: Sorry for my english, not my mother tongue.
Been doing a lot of good work here in the trenches Mauser. Brings me back to awhile ago when you helped me. Thanks!!Mauser96 said:Lose the mindset "The girl of my dreams" . If you made mistakes, learn from them, make yourself better.
There is no "one". The next girl of your dreams is right around the corner.
Check out the link on any one of Mauser's posts dealing with married men's comments on marriage. Your breakup could have been painful beyond words had it been a divorce instead of simply walking away from each other, even more so if children had been involved. This very thread is filled with inspiring words from those who've been in your exact shoes. Do yourself a favor and read as much of it as time permits.Allin said:Initiating NC . Day 0...
Well.. Lost the girl of my dreams 2 weeks ago. I'm 32.
I was actually going to propose in 2 months (after 3 years). I tought everything was all right. Turns out things were not allright at all. Got dumped, biggest surprise of my f*** life. She told me that things began to fall apart a year ago and that she tried to tell me but I would not listen. In retrospect, I was a terrible boyfriend and I actually knew it. I just tought that she loved me so much that I could get away with being a jerk. I learned a lot on myself.. Won't act like that with the next girl.
But god dam***, it hurts like s***, she was awesome and I blew it.
Funniest thing, I can't even go full NC mode because she still has some big furnitures to take out.
PS: Sorry for my english, not my mother tongue.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
unless you spat on her and beat the crap or called her a cvnt....what couldn't be worked out. don't blame yourself. she's just making excuses. she found some one else. if she can leave you once she can leave you again. there was interesting chronology written by a woman I read somewhere, where she leaves one guy thinking the other is better and then finds out he isn't then dates another guy and then realizes he isn't and then another, then realizes the first guy wasn't that bad....thing is even if you got married, there is no guarantee she will be with you until the end....the passage of time is just too long...Allin said:Initiating NC . Day 0...
Well.. Lost the girl of my dreams 2 weeks ago. I'm 32.
I was actually going to propose in 2 months (after 3 years). I tought everything was all right. Turns out things were not allright at all. Got dumped, biggest surprise of my f*** life. She told me that things began to fall apart a year ago and that she tried to tell me but I would not listen. In retrospect, I was a terrible boyfriend and I actually knew it. I just tought that she loved me so much that I could get away with being a jerk. I learned a lot on myself.. Won't act like that with the next girl.
But god dam***, it hurts like s***, she was awesome and I blew it.
Funniest thing, I can't even go full NC mode because she still has some big furnitures to take out.
PS: Sorry for my english, not my mother tongue.
Thought you ended it because of the way she treated you?? Why would you consider going back to that and being treated the same way??soulforge said:Been thinking long and hard about my break up... i admit there was things she did wrong and there was some things i did wrong..
We both handled the situation quite badly.. we was both responsible for the argument that led to our break up..
In the end it was me who ended it with her... i tried to communicate with her, and try to resolve our fallout.. but she was bieng very in responsive and would not talk..
In the end i decide to finish it.. i kinda feel we could had sorted things out, maybe i should have been more patient, gave her some time!!
Anynhow 2 weeks after the breakup, she is now back on Plenty of fish dating site?
Should i reach out to her and see if she is willing to talk??
Remember it was me who officially ended it...
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.