The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[StuffofLegends]

@SoSuave666 That was awesome and I needed to hear that as it is completely true.

@Johnsy1979 All I can say is that my heart goes out to you man.. Post in here when you need too. Good guys with great advice.

@Between_the_Lines awesome post too!

 

[Noyou]

So I seem to be getting quite a few new requests on facebook.....from women who are from her same hometown....that profile just made up a few days ago.....and even someone trying to log on to my facebook account somewhere else.....

Dodged a bullet.

Left out the back door, trying to come in back that way.
Nope, got to work for me now.

 

[Don Pepot]

At the risk of sounding perhaps a bit callous, the best thing you could hope for your friends is that these high school sweethearts eventually tear them several new ones by means of a ruthless breakup. That's not to say that you'd only wish this for them - hey, if it works out for them, that's great too, but think about what you've been through/are going through and the impact it's had (and will continue to have) on your life.

I'm 4 days shy of making one month since my girlfriend left me, and just this morning I was looking forward with a twisted sense of enthusiasm to my next breakup, precisely because it has brought so many personal deficiencies to light and led me to re-examine my life as a whole in a way that would not have happened if not for the breakup. For example, I've been thinking a lot lately about not just what attracted my ex, but other girls in the past, and it's all basically come down to the same thing, they all were drawn to the way I carried myself, broadly speaking. That wasn't me at all this last time around. I was a needy, insecure little *****, and I brought everything that came as a result of that upon myself - the misery, the anxiety, the feeling of proceeding through the relationship with my brain turned off, and finally, the break up.

Girls have the capacity of reevaluating their situations post breakup too, sure, but for the sake of argument, if a girl is at or at least very near the 5 mark as far as her beauty is concerned, all she really has to do is get dolled up, hit the bars/clubs and she'll have a guy in no time to help pave over the pain and feeling of emptiness. Some don't even have to go that far. Some just need to let it be known on Facebook that they're now single and dudes will flock to her without hesitation - just the way it is.

It's much much better that this isn't the case for us guys in the long term - we get to take a more proactive approach as far as improving ourselves by seeing to it that we continue to increase in value. This is an opportunity not just to find yourself again, but to build upon yourself like never before. Sky's the limit man.

And @ SoSuave666 - excellent post.

Dayum BROTHER! :rockon:

I am actually so happy right now, I am afraid that this feeling will be a fluke. The last time since I have been in love and kicked out of the relationship is last June 2. Its been a while now, and guess what??!! She contacted me yesterday on a facebook post telling me she is willing to meet up again. ****, tho i didnt reply. It is like, all of my hardships have come into fruition.

From June 2 until now these are what Ive reached since then:

1. GFTOW:I am currently almost half-way. 4 girls.
2. 90 day No-fap: Since June I fapped only twice. On my current journey I am on my 37th day. I want this testament to myself because this proved that discipline is everything.
3. No Contact challenge. Obviously like everyone here it worked wonders.
4. Started to write a book: My testosterone levels are maybe too much I feel like superman I can do it all. My energy was like never ending.
5. I lost 33 pounds: I am doing freeletics and consuming 1800 calories a day.
6. I can go out and talk to a bunch of girls or anyone with eye-contact. I can darth around and f*ck them with my eyes and impregnate their brains.
7. :cheer: I am definitely happy everyday.
8. Workout my ass off early in the morning HITT(freeletics) and weight training (own body weight,push ups etc.) before I go to bed.
9. I can sleep like a log unlike before I suffer insomia.
10. I have nearly zero desire to anything else!! That is why I am happy...

Maybe all of these are too much in almost four months. But I did it!! Remember I am a short overweight asian guy. I am planning to do sports. The secret about this is motivation. Motivation is like taking a bath. If you feel dirty seek motivation. I usually find motivational videos on youtube everyday. AS IN EVERYDAY!! If I am idle I usually find something to learn or listen to TED speeches on youtube or listen to 21 convention channel. I like James Marshall!:rockon:

Ha!! To all the struggling guys here. READ a TONS and get out here quick!! You can only understand all of the gems here until you do it yourself.

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Almost a month since the break up. Went out tonight. Just returned. Found it difficult to plow through the 'mental fog' in the beginning, but slid into a solid free flowing state as the night unfolded. The very simple recommendation to go out and talk to girls is gold.

I spoke to a few older women about my break up. I really tried to use the subject as a pretense to help me loosen up and talk to other people as the night progressed, but who am I kidding, I'll admit it - it still gnaws at me a bit. I still give the break up too much airtime, in my opinion.

One of my major gripes when I was with her was that I felt shackled, oppressed, I never felt free to fully be myself - the character that is 'me', my quirks, all of my little idiosyncrasies, my sense of humor, all felt suppressed. Man, I was constantly walking on eggshells with that girl. I can be a tough read, but nothing like a girl who just gets you. No explaining this thing or that, no need to clarify whether or not you were joking, and sometimes, no need to even talk to one another... I had none of that with her. I compromised so much of myself in this past relationship. I know, sad. I But I felt like me again tonight. I couldn't stop smiling to myself as these thoughts came to mind walking back to my car. Who do I want back more: her or me? The answer is becoming glaringly obvious.

However, a part of me still entertained those reoccurring nightly haunting thoughts tonight - "where is she now?" "who is she with?" "what are they doing?" I have to continuously remind myself of what a bore she was, how emotionally fragile she was, how disinterested she was in me, how often her actions failed to align with her words, how incredibly incompatible we were, to help drown out those thoughts. I deserve better. In fact, all of us here who got dumped deserve better, but work your asses off at improving yourself to make that a reality too. Quality girls are not low hanging fruit! Either way, woman or no woman, your life ought to be awesome. See to it that it is. Screen, screen, screen. A ride with you ought to be like sitting courtside at an NBA game - those seats are not just for anyone.

I hope I can reach the point where I am both happy for her and grateful for my experience with her and what it taught me. I still have a ways to go - I still harbor lots of resentment toward her, it's still all too deeply personal, unfortunately - but I think I'm headed in the right direction. Those antagonistic feelings within me are what's holding me back - the final vestiges. Once those are gone, I'm home free. We're all gonna make it.

 

[Silvery]

My @&$ of an ex

My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue while my mom got into ICU last month. Going got tough and he bailed. We talked about marriage, we were serious....I'm no contact for four weeks....tempted to call for some closure but who am I kidding....

 

[Noyou]

My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue while my mom got into ICU last month. Going got tough and he bailed. We talked about marriage, we were serious....I'm no contact for four weeks....tempted to call for some closure but who am I kidding....

That pretty low of him leaving you when you need him the most.

Shows what kind of boy he is. Forget him and find you a man.

 

[Lolito]

3 days NC. I blew everything but went NC after 2 days of constant signs of her and becoming afc.

It s hard, but im better than yesterday

 

[Naughty Fins]

Challenge accepted.
Day 13.
She's been telling her friends that I treat her like she doesn't exist. She has also been crying at school. I wanna be with her and comfort her, but no, I shouldn't. There have been these HB7s who seemed interested in me, in the meantime I guess I'll go on a date with them.

I can tell NC's been working, but I believe I need to move on and date other girls before I start a relationship with her.

 

[StuffofLegends]

The key here is to create a life for yourself that is better than what you had with your Ex. It is possible to accomplish. Then as you are reaching your goals you don't allow the Ex, who is probably washed up by now, in on your success. It's still about you though, and not about her. She doesn't matter. Least this is my focus.

 

[SoSuave666]

Man the fvck up. In the words of Biggie: "get a grip, motherfvcker."

I'm not going to tell you what you need to realize. You've heard it all before. I'm not going to tell you your ex is out guzzling on someone else's c0ck. You inherently know that. I'm not going to tell you to go out and approach women. Come on, you should have been doing that even when you had a girlfriend. And I'm most certainly not going to tell you to stop sulking. Men don't sulk.

What I am going to help you do is become a better man. And I promise you, if you follow these steps to the letter, you WILL feel better. And you WILL heal sooner. One of my favorite movie lines is in Good Will Hunting, when Matt Damon is talking about how his dad used to beat him. His dad gave him the choice of either a wrench or a belt. And Will would always choose the wrench--a choice Robin Williams couldn't understand. Robin Williams asks him why, and he replies "because fvck him, that's why." Your ex is beating you with a wrench and you can either accept it with a big smile on your face and say "fvck you" right to her, or you can whimper and cower like a little baby, crying yourself to sleep at night and masturbating to thoughts of your ex with the pool of tears you have collected.

Step 1.) Delete her from your life. EVERYTHING must go. Any memories, photos, gifts, emails, notes...everything. Burn them, throw them away, write hateful notes all over them and then rip them up. Anything you want to do. Be creative. Because fvck her, that's why. Anything you gave each other is in the past and will only cause you to reminisce about all the lovey dovey times you pvssies had together.

Step 2.) Workout plan. You better get your a$$ to the gym and workout as much as possible. Not when you feel like it, not when you're feeling like sh!t over your ex, and not only after you have been binge eating/drinking. Follow a plan, workout harder than you have before. Transform your body. You've probably been neglecting your body since you had a gf, so get back in shape. Workouts do not need to span 3 hours. My workouts typically last anywhere from 1.5-1.75 hours. This includes probably 20-30 minutes of cardio. The testosterone that pumps through your veins after a beast leg workout is like a bullet to the head of the memories of your ex.

Step 3.) Read. Stick to the classics or any novel dealing with men being men. Hemingway was a drunk, but had some good ones. My favorite being For Whom the Bell Tolls. I'm not necessarily talking about the main character's interaction with the women in this book (although he does mention that women are a distraction...and also bangs Maria quite easily), but more than that is his sense of duty and self-discipline. Robert Jordan is a completely unflappable character. But choose your own books. Just read.

Step 4.) Manage your social media. I will never advocate for deleting anyone from your "friends list" or anything like that. This shows you are butthurt big time. I was such a moron when I had my last girl. I was off the grid when we met, no FB, Instagram, Snapchat. She convinced me to get all three because it's "just so fun!" Well after we broke up she deleted me on everything before I could even realize what happened. Just an extra little hit with her "wrench" over my head. Well fvck that, I deleted everything. It's all so fvcking poisonous. Ask yourself why you need that sh!t. If you can come up with a good answer to that question, let me know. Anyone I want to talk to is in my phone contacts. I can send them any picture I want, and meet them for a REAL LIFE BEER any time I want. My opinion is get rid of that sh!t. Added bonus: you can't check up on what your ex is doing.

Step 5.) Stop talking about/mentioning your ex. You think about her often enough, you don't need to make your life worse by talking about her too. There is one caveat: if you are within the first week of your breakup, go ahead. Do all the little beta sh!t you want with your FAMILY and ONE FRIEND only. Find a trustworthy friend who you can be a b!tch to and can trust to not judge you. Use them. Your family should be there for you no matter what, so feel free to speak with them. This should only last for the first WEEK. And NEVER ever take anyone's advice about trying to get back with her. You should begin your convo with them by saying: "this is not me asking for advice on how to get her back. This is me venting. That is all." They will respect it.

Step 6.) Stop your binge drinking, you wimp. You know who needs to drown their sorrows with vices like alcohol and drugs? A$$holes and cowards. All this does is put you in a ****t!er mood, yet all the while making you feel more confident to text/call/talk about/email/check social media/cry about your ex. It's pathetic, so stop doing it. If you MUST continue to drink, leave your phone at home and go out with people you trust and can have a good time with. You need to make sure you don't do stupid sh!t when you get pissy drunk.

Step 7.) Take some time off from women. You need to realize where you went wrong in the relationship. Maybe you backslid, perhaps you were too much of an a$$hole. I don't care what the reason is. You need to be introspective and understand your mistakes so that you can grow into the man the next woman will want.

Step 8.) I know I told you I wouldn't say this, but fvck you. After you have taken some time off from women, you need to go out with some chicks. Get off your a$$ and enjoy the company of other women. Go on as many dates as possible. Overbook yourself. Do the online dating thing if you aren't ready to approach in real life. Tinder can work. You were all at one point attractive enough to get "the girl of your deams" aka your ex, so GUESS WHAT? YOU CAN ATTRACT OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE EQUAL, IF NOT BETTER THAN HER. Read that again and again. Your dumba$$ ex let go of the best person she will ever know. You, on the other hand, now get the opportunity to meet people 5x as awesome as your ex. Go out and meet them.

Follow these rules and you will feel better in no time. Needless to say you MUST remain NC. Getting exes back can be done. I've seen it done, and I have done it myself. This is not to give you hope, it is to remind you that the ONLY successful time you can get back with your ex is when you get over them. And I don't mean like "oh whoopdie doo I am so confident now I can see my ex and pretend I'm ok and everything will be OK." No, you need to truly be over them. This can take years. And trust me, any MAN will not want to go back to an ex after they have banged several other dudes. It's far better to spend your time searching for a new woman. Not only is it far better, but it's far EASIER. Trust me on that--I'm speaking from experience. So, in conclusion:

Man the fvck up.

 

[Noyou]

Man the fvck up. In the words of Biggie: "get a grip, motherfvcker."

I'm not going to tell you what you need to realize. You've heard it all before. I'm not going to tell you your ex is out guzzling on someone else's c0ck. You inherently know that. I'm not going to tell you to go out and approach women. Come on, you should have been doing that even when you had a girlfriend. And I'm most certainly not going to tell you to stop sulking. Men don't sulk. Agreed, you can grieve that the relationship is dead, but continuing to let it ruin you is absurd.

What I am going to help you do is become a better man. And I promise you, if you follow these steps to the letter, you WILL feel better. And you WILL heal sooner. One of my favorite movie lines is in Good Will Hunting, when Matt Damon is talking about how his dad used to beat him. His dad gave him the choice of either a wrench or a belt. And Will would always choose the wrench--a choice Robin Williams couldn't understand. Robin Williams asks him why, and he replies "because fvck him, that's why." Your ex is beating you with a wrench and you can either accept it with a big smile on your face and say "fvck you" right to her, or you can whimper and cower like a little baby, crying yourself to sleep at night and masturbating to thoughts of your ex with the pool of tears you have collected.

Step 1.) Delete her from your life. EVERYTHING must go. Any memories, photos, gifts, emails, notes...everything. Burn them, throw them away, write hateful notes all over them and then rip them up. Anything you want to do. Be creative. Because fvck her, that's why. Anything you gave each other is in the past and will only cause you to reminisce about all the lovey dovey times you pvssies had together. This! Doing this will get her off you mind faster than anything else. I can't say how many times I went to go look at her facebook and regretted it. Eventually I deleted everything. Feel LOADS better

Step 2.) Workout plan. You better get your a$$ to the gym and workout as much as possible. Not when you feel like it, not when you're feeling like sh!t over your ex, and not only after you have been binge eating/drinking. Follow a plan, workout harder than you have before. Transform your body. You've probably been neglecting your body since you had a gf, so get back in shape. Workouts do not need to span 3 hours. My workouts typically last anywhere from 1.5-1.75 hours. This includes probably 20-30 minutes of cardio. The testosterone that pumps through your veins after a beast leg workout is like a bullet to the head of the memories of your ex. Let's be straight, no one likes to bed down a fatty.....ok maybe some do. POINT is, if you want to feel better and more successful with EVERYONE, not just women, you have to look the part and dominate alpha males are strong both mental and physical

Step 3.) Read. Stick to the classics or any novel dealing with men being men. Hemingway was a drunk, but had some good ones. My favorite being For Whom the Bell Tolls. I'm not necessarily talking about the main character's interaction with the women in this book (although he does mention that women are a distraction...and also bangs Maria quite easily), but more than that is his sense of duty and self-discipline. Robert Jordan is a completely unflappable character. But choose your own books. Just read. I think this depends on the person, I've read so much during engineering college, I can't stand it anymore.

Step 4.) Manage your social media. I will never advocate for deleting anyone from your "friends list" or anything like that. This shows you are butthurt big time. I was such a moron when I had my last girl. I was off the grid when we met, no FB, Instagram, Snapchat. She convinced me to get all three because it's "just so fun!" Well after we broke up she deleted me on everything before I could even realize what happened. Just an extra little hit with her "wrench" over my head. Well fvck that, I deleted everything. It's all so fvcking poisonous. Ask yourself why you need that sh!t. If you can come up with a good answer to that question, let me know. Anyone I want to talk to is in my phone contacts. I can send them any picture I want, and meet them for a REAL LIFE BEER any time I want. My opinion is get rid of that sh!t. Added bonus: you can't check up on what your ex is doing. Personally I just blocked her and her friends. If it is indeed **** her, then it shouldn't matter what you do. She wanted out, let her have the universe and then some. Be awesome, you shouldn't have to change and delete what you like doing because of some *****. I find it hilarious that I get random friend requests from random women from the ex's hometown and then they get deleted 2 days in, attempts of logging in from a different location. Hilarious to watch unfold.

Step 5.) Stop talking about/mentioning your ex. You think about her often enough, you don't need to make your life worse by talking about her too. There is one caveat: if you are within the first week of your breakup, go ahead. Do all the little beta sh!t you want with your FAMILY and ONE FRIEND only. Find a trustworthy friend who you can be a b!tch to and can trust to not judge you. Use them. Your family should be there for you no matter what, so feel free to speak with them. This should only last for the first WEEK. And NEVER ever take anyone's advice about trying to get back with her. You should begin your convo with them by saying: "this is not me asking for advice on how to get her back. This is me venting. That is all." They will respect it. Sure you have to talk about it but eventually if you keep doing such, word will get back to her that she's all on your mind.

Step 6.) Stop your binge drinking, you wimp. You know who needs to drown their sorrows with vices like alcohol and drugs? A$$holes and cowards. All this does is put you in a ****t!er mood, yet all the while making you feel more confident to text/call/talk about/email/check social media/cry about your ex. It's pathetic, so stop doing it. If you MUST continue to drink, leave your phone at home and go out with people you trust and can have a good time with. You need to make sure you don't do stupid sh!t when you get pissy drunk. I find social drinking with buds is great, social drinking with a new woman, that's awesome.

Step 7.) Take some time off from women. You need to realize where you went wrong in the relationship. Maybe you backslid, perhaps you were too much of an a$$hole. I don't care what the reason is. You need to be introspective and understand your mistakes so that you can grow into the man the next woman will want. BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT! I did this and came to realize I went through alot of bull**** and I was better off without her. 7 months later, I am and rising to the top.

Step 8.) I know I told you I wouldn't say this, but fvck you. After you have taken some time off from women, you need to go out with some chicks. Get off your a$$ and enjoy the company of other women. Go on as many dates as possible. Overbook yourself. Do the online dating thing if you aren't ready to approach in real life. Tinder can work. You were all at one point attractive enough to get "the girl of your deams" aka your ex, so GUESS WHAT? YOU CAN ATTRACT OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE EQUAL, IF NOT BETTER THAN HER. Read that again and again. Your dumba$$ ex let go of the best person she will ever know. You, on the other hand, now get the opportunity to meet people 5x as awesome as your ex. Go out and meet them. Also this. In the last 7 months, I've prob seen about 8-10 women, some that I'd NEVER think I'd date, and several want to bed me down and "make me happy," because it "makes them happy"
Who knew women want a good strong guy?

Follow these rules and you will feel better in no time. Needless to say you MUST remain NC. Getting exes back can be done. I've seen it done, and I have done it myself. This is not to give you hope, it is to remind you that the ONLY successful time you can get back with your ex is when you get over them. And I don't mean like "oh whoopdie doo I am so confident now I can see my ex and pretend I'm ok and everything will be OK." No, you need to truly be over them. This can take years. And trust me, any MAN will not want to go back to an ex after they have banged several other dudes. It's far better to spend your time searching for a new woman. Not only is it far better, but it's far EASIER. Trust me on that--I'm speaking from experience. So, in conclusion: True but I have seen some couples get back together and work it out, BUT DON'T COUNT ON IT! Being over them is the best win win for you.

Man the fvck up. NO U.....but srsly, ya, do this.

Thoughts in bold.
Srsly folks, do this.

 

[fuko2007]

Day one of NC. This time im going to see it through until the end. Got **** on by the same girl for the last time. She is 15 years my elder but none the less a very attractive girl. She was cold during the telling me part and wanted to stay friends and i thought that's what we were the whole time. Anyway, we all think she is bpd or a narcissist. And that came from a professional that i was seeing.

Well guys this new girl came over Sunday. It was strange because it was like i was not interested. She gave me a few red flags like the fact she still has her v card. And gave me blowers also. I kept comparing her to the old girl and kept getting turned off. While she is not as hot as the old one she is still ok. She is really into me texting me 24/7 etc. But i cant stop comparing her to the other one. Is this normal? and it makes me feel even worse.

I cant get her out of my head. I guess its an ego thing for us guys thinking about someone we were with for so long having another mans hands on her. i hope it does not take two months for me to be completely over her.

 

[Noyou]

Day one of NC. This time im going to see it through until the end. Got **** on by the same girl for the last time. She is 15 years my elder but none the less a very attractive girl. She was cold during the telling me part and wanted to stay friends and i thought that's what we were the whole time. Anyway, we all think she is bpd or a narcissist. And that came from a professional that i was seeing.

Well guys this new girl came over Sunday. It was strange because it was like i was not interested. She gave me a few red flags like the fact she still has her v card. And gave me blowers also. I kept comparing her to the old girl and kept getting turned off. While she is not as hot as the old one she is still ok. She is really into me texting me 24/7 etc. But i cant stop comparing her to the other one. Is this normal? and it makes me feel even worse.

I cant get her out of my head. I guess its an ego thing for us guys thinking about someone we were with for so long having another mans hands on her. i hope it does not take two months for me to be completely over her.

You comparing this new girl to your ex is normal, however you need to treat this woman as brand new and not filter all the bad things from your past relationship. Now as getting over the ex, that depends on you. I've seen people get over exs in a matter of days to a matter of months. Never really seen a year. Anyway, for my example, I was in a 5 year relationship and she dumped me. It took me a good 2 months to even start to get over her and get adjusted to life without her. Spring by 8 months later, I'm doing excellent. I won't lie that I miss the good times, but the bad far outweighs the good and I see that I'm far better off without her. I'd say if it's meant to happen in the future, it will happen but for now, worry about yourself and your wants and dreams

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/charlotte-kitley/bowel-cancer-charlotte-kitley_b_5836238.html

It puts everything into perspective

 

[fuko2007]

Day, 2

Thanks noyou for the link. It was very peaceful and enlightening. I still feel bad in the mornings when i get up. Its worse then than at night for some reason. I almost caved in today and unblocked her but i caught myself . One part of me wants to tell her why i am dropping off the map then the other part does not. So many feelings guys that come rushing in at one time. I find it hard to process sometimes and that's when i want to call her because she was always there or partly there in some capacity when i was down.

Anyway im getting ready to swing by the store and go cook with some of my buddy's . i hope yall are doing good.

 

[fuko2007]

Funny how that works, like a flu haha.

I didn't really see that haha. But your right, only wish they had some good meds to knock it out with haha.

 

[SoSuave666]

I didn't really see that haha. But your right, only wish they had some good meds to knock it out with haha.

They do. It's called GFTOW. You can get it at any local bar or restaurant on a Friday/Saturday night. Sometimes you can find it in grocery stores but it's much harder. Online is pretty much guaranteed, and available in bulk.

I'm on day something-or-other. Not really sure anymore but around 2 months about. Think about it every now and then. More-so about my mistakes than actually about her. I have a date on Wednesday and another on Thursday.

Everyone going through this stuff needs to just keep their head up.

 

[fuko2007]

Day 3.
Thanks ss666 for the advice. I'm working on talking to some girls and not damage myself anymore than i already am. I woke up this a.m. at 530 right on Q with the fleeting thoughts of her. It really sucks and im tierd of this. I dont know why i care so much for someone who cares so little for me. I have an iphone and blocked her. It will give you an error message if you text me and if you call it will ring once and go to voice mail but wont give me the message. I wounder if she has tried to contact me?

Thought about that last night. I cant block her email i can only delete it if she sends one. But her birthday is coming up and she is going out of town. It makes me mad i spent my last two ones with her and she blew me off and said she was going out of town for hers. Im torn between not sending her a card or sending one. But i probably wont send anything to her because the more i think about it it makes me feel like she was saying im not worthy of her time. Anyway back to the grind guys.

 

[SoSuave666]

Day 3.
Thanks ss666 for the advice. I'm working on talking to some girls and not damage myself anymore than i already am. I woke up this a.m. at 530 right on Q with the fleeting thoughts of her. It really sucks and im tierd of this. I dont know why i care so much for someone who cares so little for me. I have an iphone and blocked her. It will give you an error message if you text me and if you call it will ring once and go to voice mail but wont give me the message. I wounder if she has tried to contact me?

Thought about that last night. I cant block her email i can only delete it if she sends one. But her birthday is coming up and she is going out of town. It makes me mad i spent my last two ones with her and she blew me off and said she was going out of town for hers. Im torn between not sending her a card or sending one. But i probably wont send anything to her because the more i think about it it makes me feel like she was saying im not worthy of her time. Anyway back to the grind guys.

Pretty much everyone has been there. Don't beat yourself up over it. I remember like 4 years ago when my BPD ex broke up with me I honestly could not sleep for more than 2 hours. I couldn't eat. I didn't need to consider suicide because I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest at any given moment and I would die from suffering. But you know what? It was the best experience that ever happened to me.

Any other breakup was absolutely insignificant in comparison. Sure there is pain but honestly, time does heal everything. You can't sit there thinking about it day in and day out. You need to do something that is going to take your mind off it. Other girls, friends, family, hobbies, etc. The hard part is forcing yourself to do these things.

I can't tell you she hasn't been fvcking other people since you've known her, and I can definitely not tell you she's not fvcking other people now. We both know she is. But really, SO WHAT? Think about things in the big picture. In the grand scheme of life, this chick IS a minor part of it. Not just your life, but life in general. She is one person out of 8 billion. Think of your life as a timeline. You will most likely live until you're like 80 years old. You've known this woman for 2 years? That's 1/40th of your life. You can either spend more time thinking about her and pining after her, WASTING your life, or you can move on to bigger and better things.

Don't send her a card. I understand you want to talk to her, but that's more of a reflection of your own feelings than it is of hers. She doesn't care whether she gets a card from you or not. It is not your job to make her happy, and by the sound of your relationship it never WAS your job. Delete her from everything. Remove everything from your place that was hers. Block her number. Block her email (yes, you can do this). Remove her from social media if you have to (better yet remove social media all together). She is toxic and the quicker you remove her the better off you will be. There is NO HOPE for you to get back with her--remember that.

 

[Noyou]

I agree completely.

Don't get her anything
Don't call her
Don't msg her
Don't do anything for her
She wanted out, let her have a galaxy as space

 

[Midnight_Oil]

Day 3 of NC.

This breakup happened many months ago.

I was on day 34 but she texted me asking, "How is it was going." I caved and responded back, saying, "It's going well, blah, blah, blah." The bigger mistake I made was sending another text later, "Nothing has changed for me. I would still enjoy your company if it was offered."

She responded back TWO days later, "LJBF, if that is ok with you, blah, blah."

Today I deleted emails and pictures I had from her and blocked her from Snapchat. Unfortunately, I have her phone number memorized as I have a photographic memory. I'll have to figure out how to forget that. I have the urge to text her again and tell her that I never want her to contact me again, but thankfully, I haven't done that yet.

I didn't workout today and have been skipping it too much lately. I just don't have the desire. I really don't have much of an appetite and don't sleep much either. My problem is that I've never had a girlfriend. I was really close with this one. So close to being happy and normal. I know this forum says you need to be happy with yourself first and I but I didn't feel "happy" until I was with her. She probably smelled the AFC oozing from my pores.

Right now I'm considering just throwing my life away. By throw away I mean one day I won't show up to work and will pack my bags and will start driving without telling anyone. I have over $40k in the bank and no debt so I could do it tomorrow. I would be walking away from a nearly $50k job which is decent money in the Midwest. This is just gnawing away at me and I want an out. I've never done anything rash in my life.

Tonight I'll try to signup for online dating before planning my unplanned road trip.