"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The Nine Neins

Blackmm

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(I posted this on the Bodybuilding.com forum)

I thought i would come up with an answer for the "Six Sixes" women like to judge men by in a relationship. If you don't know what the Six Sixes are, do a google search.

Nein is the German word for "No". I figured it would be a better wordplay instead of calling this list the Nine No's, so enjoy.

Nein allein erziehende Mütter (Single Mothers)
Nein Raucher (Smokers)
Nein ****e Mädchen (Fat girls)
Nein Hündinnen (Bitches)
Nein Drogenkonsumenten (Drug Users)
Nein unsichere Mädchen (Insecure girls)
Nein Drama Königin (Drama Queens)
Nein Club-Ratte (Club Rats)
Nein männliche beste Freunde (Male best friends)

This list isn't everything out there but its a good start. Share the knowledge bros.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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Nice list, and a language lesson to go with it. The only one I'm not firmly on board with is "No insecure girls", as I think if a girl is slightly insecure it's charming and feminine. You don't want her to be very insecure though, because that's where you run into problems.
 

Spaz

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Nice list, and a language lesson to go with it. The only one I'm not firmly on board with is "No insecure girls", as I think if a girl is slightly insecure it's charming and feminine. You don't want her to be very insecure though, because that's where you run into problems.
I've noticed that the more secure a woman is, the smaller her handbag.

Some don't even have handbags, just wallets.

I wonder if it's true for men, mostly metros€xuals carries has a good sized one. I often wondered what's inside....
 
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