"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The Myth Of Sisyphus.

The Dreamer

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We are Sisyphus. We roll our rock to the top to finally see it fall to the bottom, and the thing is that there's nothing to do about this. It is the ultimate disease but it is also what instils beauty in all things. The fleeting and absurd nature of life is what makes it beautiful.
And all we have to do is to rebel. To rebel in a passionate, life-loving way, to burn with the essence of madness. Because only the mad ones can truly live. Indeed, after realizing the absurdity of life the logical answer would be to let things drive your life, to kill time or even to commit suicide but it requires madness to love life despite of it all, considering that life has no meaning and there's no reason to do anything.
The only important thing is then to make the most of every moment and to have the most fun with everything. You so realize that nothing has to be taken seriously and the madness that is now in you will make you burn, love, behold, act and create.
You are now free because untied to the false seriousness of life and living as you're immortal until the day you die. Life is your playground, it's a sandbox where you can build whatever you want. And even if time will always tear it down, it is also what makes it so magical.
We must picture Sisyphus happy.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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TheGameMaster

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this is gold. if you can take this in and make it part of your attitude to life, then "fullfilment" might just be an understatement.
great stuff
 

macallik

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Albert Camus is that you???
 

CyranoDeBergerac

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I completely disagree.

The ultimate goal of our striving is achievement, not the striving itself. To adopt a paradigm where failure is not only expected, but glorified is the kiss of death.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Fender

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The Dreamer said:
... considering that life has no meaning and there's no reason to do anything.
Well, life has no ABSOLUTE meaning but the meaning that we imbue it with- the subjective meaning that we choose to give it. Hence, all the "madness" as you say.

Great post!
 

comic_relief

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macallik said:
Albert Camus is that you???
exactly what I thought! I just read the myth of sispyhus.

comic_relief
 

Darth

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I completely disagree with the OP.

CyranoDeBergerac said:
I completely disagree.

The ultimate goal of our striving is achievement, not the striving itself. To adopt a paradigm where failure is not only expected, but glorified is the kiss of death.
Exactly.
 

search1ng

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CyranoDeBergerac said:
I completely disagree.

The ultimate goal of our striving is achievement, not the striving itself. To adopt a paradigm where failure is not only expected, but glorified is the kiss of death.
Agreed.

What the OP suggests is anarchy, a complete acceptance of everything. IT should be common sense to realize that NOT EVERYTHING can be accepted - you risk the further degradation of the human race into a spiraling, disgusting, cesspool of immoral behavior and stagnation.
 

The Dreamer

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search1ng said:
CyranoDeBergerac said:
I completely disagree.

The ultimate goal of our striving is achievement, not the striving itself. To adopt a paradigm where failure is not only expected, but glorified is the kiss of death.
Agreed.

What the OP suggests is anarchy, a complete acceptance of everything. IT should be common sense to realize that NOT EVERYTHING can be accepted - you risk the further degradation of the human race into a spiraling, disgusting, cesspool of immoral behavior and stagnation.
Well first to reply to Cyrano I DO believe that only thing that matters is the process and YES I believe that the so-called achievement you talk about will never make you as happy as the process if you know how to enjoy it.

Secondly, I do not suggest an acceptance of everything, I just say that you NEED to accept all the things that you cannot change (your condition, the fact that you will die someday, that you will probably see people you love dying too, and everything else that is out of your control) in order to live a fulfilled and happy life. This is the first essential step, it is Nietzsche's "Amor Fati", unconditional love for your fate, and thus for life.
This IS the madness I've been talking about. Think about all the prophets. What drove them was an unconditional and insane love for their god and it's why they were so magnetic, so charismatic.
Love is the key, and although you can feel an incredible ecstasy when you experience true love with someone, I think the most intense kind of love is a profound love for life.

And I'm not a hippie guru.


Have fun people ! :)
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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intrextrovert

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One minute was enough, Tyler said, a person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.
 

The Dreamer

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intrextrovert said:
One minute was enough, Tyler said, a person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.
I think that what Palaniuk calls perfection here is nothing more than a moment of grace. There's no such thing as perfection !
And yes you have to work hard for such a moment, a moment where you are completely yourself, freeing your mind from everything inessential and really believing you can do anything. I think it is only possible either with love or with art. When you perform your art (which by the way can be possibly anything) you do what you really love and express what you really are, but you need to work and practice it before to progressively substract the excess and make it completely free from external parasites.
But almost no one knows such a state in his life.

I'm not saying that the goal is unimportant, I just say that you have to enjoy the process as much if not more than the goal, because it's when you learn and you discover everything that the thing is really exciting. And remember that no moment is more important than another, the moments you learn and step forward are as important as your final moment of grace. You can dedicate your life to be able to know these moments of ecstasy but you should never sacrifice it, not even for that!

Have Fun !
 

Jaux

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Well, life has no ABSOLUTE meaning but the meaning that we imbue it with- the subjective meaning that we choose to give it. Hence, all the "madness" as you say.
Well, life has no meaning. We have to understand that this has to be the case before we can give it a subjective meaning.

Actually, our freedom is given to us through the fact that life has no meaning.

I recommend Camus for everyone, but you really have to sit down and study the stuff, you have to really understand it. Especially the part about the philosophical suicide.
 
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