The most disgusting being I've ever met...

[Blacksheep]

For the ones who knows my story, it's a continuation of what is happening...

I though he wasn't able to do that... But, I went to the house I lived for years (that is his house) with him, so he could check some stuffs. He asked me the key, I said there was a backup key in his company, he could use it instead of asking mine... He insisted and I said no. We had agree that until 15/05/2020 I would still had the key to take my stuffs out and sell the ones I wanted.

I left them there, and was with the keys with me... He called a locksmith and had all the locks on the house changed so that I couldn't get in. This night I went there to return my friend's music equipment and I couldn't opened the door anymore... He laughed and said "You fcked up".

My gym equipments are all there... more than R$4.000,00 of equipments in my name. He will do everything now to stress and to fck me trying to take those things out.

I'm really affraid of what he can do for next... He is capable of doing everything, and he used my mom (she was emotional with me to try to discover my address) to get my new address.

How can a person be able to do that with his own son... this is disgusting. I was so angry that if I saw him, I would do bullsh1t... cause I'm feeling an extreme rage and I can't give that reason to him... But I'm fcking angry with this... it's unfair. I never did anything to prejudice him, we made a deal, I was leaving his house... helping him to take out the stuffs in there.

I'm feeling really affraid of what's coming next.

 

[glass half full]

Your dad, is doing this to you?...

Maybe you should get your mom after him! What a d!ck...
I used to know someone just like that. I wonder how many lives he's f'd up? Sad.

Have you contacted Law Enforcement? Does he own the place, rent it?
Maybe you need a Lawyer...there are several Gov. Sponsored programs, one of them might be able to assist. Good Luck

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

For the ones who knows my story, it's a continuation of what is happening...

I though he wasn't able to do that... But, I went to the house I lived for years (that is his house) with him, so he could check some stuffs. He asked me the key, I said there was a backup key in his company, he could use it instead of asking mine... He insisted and I said no. We had agree that until 15/05/2020 I would still had the key to take my stuffs out and sell the ones I wanted.

I left them there, and was with the keys with me... He called a locksmith and had all the locks on the house changed so that I couldn't get in. This night I went there to return my friend's music equipment and I couldn't opened the door anymore... He laughed and said "You fcked up".

My gym equipments are all there... more than R$4.000,00 of equipments in my name. He will do everything now to stress and to fck me trying to take those things out.

I'm really affraid of what he can do for next... He is capable of doing everything, and he used my mom (she was emotional with me to try to discover my address) to get my new address.

How can a person be able to do that with his own son... this is disgusting. I was so angry that if I saw him, I would do bullsh1t... cause I'm feeling an extreme rage and I can't give that reason to him... But I'm fcking angry with this... it's unfair. I never did anything to prejudice him, we made a deal, I was leaving his house... helping him to take out the stuffs in there.

I'm feeling really affraid of what's coming next.

It depends on the laws in your land but at least in the USA changing the locks like that is illegal until the tenants are completely moved out and their lease is up. I know you're family and weren't a tenant, but it wouldn't hurt to call the police and ask what you can do to get your stuff.

When he said you fuucked up your response should be "you violated our agreement, it seems I can't trust you." then walk away.

Remember that being calm in these situations is the best thing you can do for yourself. He's been unfair to you in the past so it's interesting that you're surprised when he continues to be unfair. Expect him to continue acting the way he has been for years. Why would it change?

I would personally consider that stuff gone. I have a feeling he'll try to leverage your things to blackmail you into doing something. If you consider those things gone he has no power over you. You made the mistake of trusting him, and you've hopefully learned to not do that again. Keep your distance and focus on building a solid life. Make spare keys for your new place, hide them. Make spares for your spares. Get to know your new landlord, see if you can help out around the property, who knows maybe he has other properties you can move to. Maybe setup hidden cameras inside your new spot. Consider getting pepper spray or a taser or a bat to have in the house. Hide knives around the unit. Stash some emergency cash in multiple places. Get to know your neighbors and alderman(or political equivalent). Call social services and non emergency police numbers to figure out all your options. Have a contingency plan for everything, it'll help you feel calm and confidence knowing you always have a back up plan. Be pragmatic, not emotional.

This is a very good lesson for you in becoming an independent adult. Sometimes you'll meet people that will try to bully you or take advantage of you, sometimes that person is family. Behind meanness is sadness and weakness. Leave them in their misery and turn your attention elsewhere. Show indifference and you become emotionally invincible to them.

You will outlive him and maybe in his old age he'll soften up and apologize, or maybe he'll be mean and cold to his death. It doesn't matter, this is your life, not his. You respect yourself and only entertain people that respect you the same way. Your destiny is your own.

 

[Blacksheep]

Your dad, is doing this to you?...

Maybe you should get your mom after him! What a d!ck...
I used to know someone just like that. I wonder how many lives he's f'd up? Sad.

Have you contacted Law Enforcement? Does he own the place, rent it?
Maybe you need a Lawyer...there are several Gov. Sponsored programs, one of them might be able to assist. Good Luck

My mom just follow everything he do or order her to do. If she says no, he become agressive to her.

But btw, I talked to a lawyer... for now just wait until getting more evidences. It seems he stopped those stupid things, if he come back with threats or trying to do something that may put my safe in risk, I'm gonna look for something like that!

Thanks!

 

[Blacksheep]

It depends on the laws in your land but at least in the USA changing the locks like that is illegal until the tenants are completely moved out and their lease is up. I know you're family and weren't a tenant, but it wouldn't hurt to call the police and ask what you can do to get your stuff.

When he said you fuucked up your response should be "you violated our agreement, it seems I can't trust you." then walk away.

Remember that being calm in these situations is the best thing you can do for yourself. He's been unfair to you in the past so it's interesting that you're surprised when he continues to be unfair. Expect him to continue acting the way he has been for years. Why would it change?

I would personally consider that stuff gone. I have a feeling he'll try to leverage your things to blackmail you into doing something. If you consider those things gone he has no power over you. You made the mistake of trusting him, and you've hopefully learned to not do that again. Keep your distance and focus on building a solid life. Make spare keys for your new place, hide them. Make spares for your spares. Get to know your new landlord, see if you can help out around the property, who knows maybe he has other properties you can move to. Maybe setup hidden cameras inside your new spot. Consider getting pepper spray or a taser or a bat to have in the house. Hide knives around the unit. Stash some emergency cash in multiple places. Get to know your neighbors and alderman(or political equivalent). Call social services and non emergency police numbers to figure out all your options. Have a contingency plan for everything, it'll help you feel calm and confidence knowing you always have a back up plan. Be pragmatic, not emotional.

This is a very good lesson for you in becoming an independent adult. Sometimes you'll meet people that will try to bully you or take advantage of you, sometimes that person is family. Behind meanness is sadness and weakness. Leave them in their misery and turn your attention elsewhere. Show indifference and you become emotionally invincible to them.

You will outlive him and maybe in his old age he'll soften up and apologize, or maybe he'll be mean and cold to his death. It doesn't matter, this is your life, not his. You respect yourself and only entertain people that respect you the same way. Your destiny is your own.

Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.

That was me and that's very good to hear! Remember to be consistent with practicing gratitude and positive imagery, it will form a habit and change your life by physically changing your brain.

You're exactly right, what cost can you put on peace of mind? It's extremely valuable. Very good to hear you're making progress!

 

[Blacksheep]

That was me and that's very good to hear! Remember to be consistent with practicing gratitude and positive imagery, it will form a habit and change your life by physically changing your brain.

You're exactly right, what cost can you put on peace of mind? It's extremely valuable. Very good to hear you're making progress!

Thanks man! I'm really thankful for that! Those threads in here is helping me so much, and all the tips are so important!

I'm also working with some mantras chants, to help energize my body with positive energy and good vibrations. I'm kind of chanting the mantras as it seems to ressonate all your body into that energy. It kind helps creating that new self image and attract good things.

I still have a lot to learn, a lot to recover for my traumas... But I can already see a light!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.

Perfect time perfect book. Line up you mental, physical, career, social growth. Get better daily. You see how quickly and how badly people can damage your life...

 

[lamath]

Those actions are malicious and manipulative.
Your dad likely have personality disorder sociopathy or something similar.
Get away from him, remove your stuff from house and cut all contact, you will probably have to do the same with your mom to some extand.
I dont think things can be fixed with someone like this, you just cut him off completely.
Otherwise he will continue making you feel like ****, because that how he controls you.

 

[Desdinova]

Sounds like what my dad did to me.

When you finally leave the nest, you finally get to see what your parents are like from outside the box, and sometimes it's not pretty. It took me a while to realize that my parents weren't very nice people, especially after having a GF who's parents treated me like one of their own kids.

Your dad royally fvcked up. That kind of 5hit is difficult to patch up. I had resentment for the garbage that my dad did to me, even past his death.

 

[samspade]

Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.

Good for you, you took a step a lot of men wouldn't by just moving on. You can always use your time to make more money and buy new gym and musical equipment. If you spent that time combating him, either through legal means or on your own, you won't be likely to end up with anything other than frustration. Plus as you said you won't have spent the time dealing with this prick and all those negative feelings.

Psycho Cybernetics is a great book. Also try How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World by Harry Browne. Though you could have written half the book already with the decisions you've made. Bravo!

 

[Blacksheep]

Those actions are malicious and manipulative.
Your dad likely have personality disorder sociopathy or something similar.
Get away from him, remove your stuff from house and cut all contact, you will probably have to do the same with your mom to some extand.
I dont think things can be fixed with someone like this, you just cut him off completely.
Otherwise he will continue making you feel like ****, because that how he controls you.

That's true.

The only hard thing is that in somehow I feel really sad somedays like missing my family. I'm having some frequently nightmares dreams that my dad is chasing me or doing something to harm me. Then I woke up crying.

I won't desire any bad things to them or accuse them... but I would never forget what he did. I can even forgive inside me, but I won't be able to look at him in the same way again. Even when I think that someday he will die and I will suffer because of that, but I know that I should move away from those things or it would kill me.

 

[Blacksheep]

Sounds like what my dad did to me.

When you finally leave the nest, you finally get to see what your parents are like from outside the box, and sometimes it's not pretty. It took me a while to realize that my parents weren't very nice people, especially after having a GF who's parents treated me like one of their own kids.

Your dad royally fvcked up. That kind of 5hit is difficult to patch up. I had resentment for the garbage that my dad did to me, even past his death.

That's really hard.

How did you handle with that? Fears, emotional sequels, etc?

I've felt like a punch on my face when I found out what he was telling and accusing me to people. Also I got really, really sad when my mom was pretending to be lovely only to get information and to get the keys of that house I lived, just so my dad change the house locks and I could not get in.

Now, I'm starting to get up, but I have to handle with some sh1ts in my mind like: fear of not being able to find a job or make money, not being able to trust people and this confusion I feel inside (this I know that will take some time to organize again).

 

[Blacksheep]

Good for you, you took a step a lot of men wouldn't by just moving on. You can always use your time to make more money and buy new gym and musical equipment. If you spent that time combating him, either through legal means or on your own, you won't be likely to end up with anything other than frustration. Plus as you said you won't have spent the time dealing with this prick and all those negative feelings.

Psycho Cybernetics is a great book. Also try How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World by Harry Browne. Though you could have written half the book already with the decisions you've made. Bravo!

Thanks man!

It is definitely not worth wasting time on these things.

Right now I am running after finding a way to make money and have stability. I've also been working on the game I launched and learning how this market works. I've been having great feedbacks, but so far I've made an average of $ 0.76 in ads haha.

This week I will dedicate this book and finish it. I feel that I need more than ever to work on the topics he addresses and to pay special attention at this moment. For now is the time to reshape these issues of self image.

 

[Desdinova]

How did you handle with that? Fears, emotional sequels, etc?

If anything, it made me want to break free even more. I used the energy and anger towards him to become more independent of him.

My GF's dad is no better. If anything, he's even worse. He demanded a spare key to her house, came in whenever he pleased, and even took her dog when she wasn't home. He told her because he was a co-signer, she couldn't sell her house without his permission. She really believed him even though I told her multiple times that they just need someone to go after if she fvcks up on her mortgage payments. Then he would show up at her workplace in the middle of the day and scream at her in front of all her co-workers. She finally cut him out of her life and hasn't seen him in two years.

I was lucky with my dad. He settled down quite a bit after I cut him out of my life for a couple of years. I was able to have a relationship with him in my adult years, although it was never as good as it could have been.

 

[Blacksheep]

If anything, it made me want to break free even more. I used the energy and anger towards him to become more independent of him.

My GF's dad is no better. If anything, he's even worse. He demanded a spare key to her house, came in whenever he pleased, and even took her dog when she wasn't home. He told her because he was a co-signer, she couldn't sell her house without his permission. She really believed him even though I told her multiple times that they just need someone to go after if she fvcks up on her mortgage payments. Then he would show up at her workplace in the middle of the day and scream at her in front of all her co-workers. She finally cut him out of her life and hasn't seen him in two years.

I was lucky with my dad. He settled down quite a bit after I cut him out of my life for a couple of years. I was able to have a relationship with him in my adult years, although it was never as good as it could have been.

That's hard man =/

But it's good that you could manage to have some kind of relationship.

Today I saw a picture of me and my family fishing on a lake... I kind felt really sad. I keep imagining my dad leaving this life and my feeling of not being able to had a good relationship.

I'd like to not feel love for them, but I still love them. Fortunately I could go out of this and preserve my health. Good part on that is after that crazy moment, I can get calm down, stop with negative thoughts and kind of forgive them for that. Not that I will come back to them, but knowing that my dad and my mom have their own problems and traumas, this created those behaviors.

I can't stay around them, but I can just leave with this peaceful feeling that I did the best I could.

Thanks for sharing your story too! =)

 

[Kotaix]

But I'm fcking angry with this... it's unfair.

I'm feeling really affraid of what's coming next.

Life isn't ****ing fair, and your dad sounds like a controlling ****. It's too bad you're going thru that, but you need to stay true to yourself.

What you have to do is cut your losses and not play his game. Abandon the gym equipment and don't worry about it. You're young and you can always buy other equipment. This is the price of your freedom. Do NOT give in, or else he wins

 

[Blacksheep]

Life isn't ****ing fair, and your dad sounds like a controlling ****. It's too bad you're going thru that, but you need to stay true to yourself.

What you have to do is cut your losses and not play his game. Abandon the gym equipment and don't worry about it. You're young and you can always buy other equipment. This is the price of your freedom. Do NOT give in, or else he wins

Yeah man, it's the only healthy solution to do right now. It's what I did.

All kind of stuff are dropping now and I figured out that they planned all that stuff.

My father doubled my sister's salary. She will earn almost $20.000,00 now on... And she doesn't even have the experience I had on the sector I managed.

Also, the wife of the director of IT (my father's brother) put her sister to become operational manager.

This explains why my sister didn't even come to me to find out how I was doing during all that time I left my job and the house where I lived. She only comes to me when she needs something from me. Interesting right?

Like a conspiracy game. It detonated me emotionally until I couldn't take it anymore and gave up... But everything was coldly calculated by this bunch of mother****ers.

It's the new modern way to try to kill someone legally... If you kill someone with a gun, your reputation is done and you go to jail. Why not finding a way to silently abuse and fck his mind untill his is dead over stress diseases or got so depressed that took over his own life. It's sadistic, despicable, disgusting...

And people who knows about that, they accept that as if nothing happened. They know what is happening, but it's not happening with them, so why bother with that?

This wife of the IT director won the position of director by blackmailing him and my father at the time. And she laughed up to her ears to know that I'm not there anymore, after all, I was the only one with the balls to unmask all the sh!t that happened under the hood.

The sickest and most perverse game I've ever played in my entire life!

It is like entering a battlefield, surrounded on all fronts, after falling into a trap.