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Blacksheep

Senior Don Juan
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For the ones who knows my story, it's a continuation of what is happening...

I though he wasn't able to do that... But, I went to the house I lived for years (that is his house) with him, so he could check some stuffs. He asked me the key, I said there was a backup key in his company, he could use it instead of asking mine... He insisted and I said no. We had agree that until 15/05/2020 I would still had the key to take my stuffs out and sell the ones I wanted.

I left them there, and was with the keys with me... He called a locksmith and had all the locks on the house changed so that I couldn't get in. This night I went there to return my friend's music equipment and I couldn't opened the door anymore... He laughed and said "You fcked up".

My gym equipments are all there... more than R$4.000,00 of equipments in my name. He will do everything now to stress and to fck me trying to take those things out.

I'm really affraid of what he can do for next... He is capable of doing everything, and he used my mom (she was emotional with me to try to discover my address) to get my new address.

How can a person be able to do that with his own son... this is disgusting. I was so angry that if I saw him, I would do bullsh1t... cause I'm feeling an extreme rage and I can't give that reason to him... But I'm fcking angry with this... it's unfair. I never did anything to prejudice him, we made a deal, I was leaving his house... helping him to take out the stuffs in there.

I'm feeling really affraid of what's coming next.
 

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glass half full

Master Don Juan
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Your dad, is doing this to you?...

Maybe you should get your mom after him! What a d!ck...
I used to know someone just like that. I wonder how many lives he's f'd up? Sad.

Have you contacted Law Enforcement? Does he own the place, rent it?
Maybe you need a Lawyer...there are several Gov. Sponsored programs, one of them might be able to assist. Good Luck
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
625
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For the ones who knows my story, it's a continuation of what is happening...

I though he wasn't able to do that... But, I went to the house I lived for years (that is his house) with him, so he could check some stuffs. He asked me the key, I said there was a backup key in his company, he could use it instead of asking mine... He insisted and I said no. We had agree that until 15/05/2020 I would still had the key to take my stuffs out and sell the ones I wanted.

I left them there, and was with the keys with me... He called a locksmith and had all the locks on the house changed so that I couldn't get in. This night I went there to return my friend's music equipment and I couldn't opened the door anymore... He laughed and said "You fcked up".

My gym equipments are all there... more than R$4.000,00 of equipments in my name. He will do everything now to stress and to fck me trying to take those things out.

I'm really affraid of what he can do for next... He is capable of doing everything, and he used my mom (she was emotional with me to try to discover my address) to get my new address.

How can a person be able to do that with his own son... this is disgusting. I was so angry that if I saw him, I would do bullsh1t... cause I'm feeling an extreme rage and I can't give that reason to him... But I'm fcking angry with this... it's unfair. I never did anything to prejudice him, we made a deal, I was leaving his house... helping him to take out the stuffs in there.

I'm feeling really affraid of what's coming next.
It depends on the laws in your land but at least in the USA changing the locks like that is illegal until the tenants are completely moved out and their lease is up. I know you're family and weren't a tenant, but it wouldn't hurt to call the police and ask what you can do to get your stuff.

When he said you fuucked up your response should be "you violated our agreement, it seems I can't trust you." then walk away.

Remember that being calm in these situations is the best thing you can do for yourself. He's been unfair to you in the past so it's interesting that you're surprised when he continues to be unfair. Expect him to continue acting the way he has been for years. Why would it change?

I would personally consider that stuff gone. I have a feeling he'll try to leverage your things to blackmail you into doing something. If you consider those things gone he has no power over you. You made the mistake of trusting him, and you've hopefully learned to not do that again. Keep your distance and focus on building a solid life. Make spare keys for your new place, hide them. Make spares for your spares. Get to know your new landlord, see if you can help out around the property, who knows maybe he has other properties you can move to. Maybe setup hidden cameras inside your new spot. Consider getting pepper spray or a taser or a bat to have in the house. Hide knives around the unit. Stash some emergency cash in multiple places. Get to know your neighbors and alderman(or political equivalent). Call social services and non emergency police numbers to figure out all your options. Have a contingency plan for everything, it'll help you feel calm and confidence knowing you always have a back up plan. Be pragmatic, not emotional.

This is a very good lesson for you in becoming an independent adult. Sometimes you'll meet people that will try to bully you or take advantage of you, sometimes that person is family. Behind meanness is sadness and weakness. Leave them in their misery and turn your attention elsewhere. Show indifference and you become emotionally invincible to them.

You will outlive him and maybe in his old age he'll soften up and apologize, or maybe he'll be mean and cold to his death. It doesn't matter, this is your life, not his. You respect yourself and only entertain people that respect you the same way. Your destiny is your own.
 

Blacksheep

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
404
Reaction score
273
Age
29
Location
Brazil
Your dad, is doing this to you?...

Maybe you should get your mom after him! What a d!ck...
I used to know someone just like that. I wonder how many lives he's f'd up? Sad.

Have you contacted Law Enforcement? Does he own the place, rent it?
Maybe you need a Lawyer...there are several Gov. Sponsored programs, one of them might be able to assist. Good Luck
My mom just follow everything he do or order her to do. If she says no, he become agressive to her.

But btw, I talked to a lawyer... for now just wait until getting more evidences. It seems he stopped those stupid things, if he come back with threats or trying to do something that may put my safe in risk, I'm gonna look for something like that!

Thanks!
 

Blacksheep

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
404
Reaction score
273
Age
29
Location
Brazil
It depends on the laws in your land but at least in the USA changing the locks like that is illegal until the tenants are completely moved out and their lease is up. I know you're family and weren't a tenant, but it wouldn't hurt to call the police and ask what you can do to get your stuff.

When he said you fuucked up your response should be "you violated our agreement, it seems I can't trust you." then walk away.

Remember that being calm in these situations is the best thing you can do for yourself. He's been unfair to you in the past so it's interesting that you're surprised when he continues to be unfair. Expect him to continue acting the way he has been for years. Why would it change?

I would personally consider that stuff gone. I have a feeling he'll try to leverage your things to blackmail you into doing something. If you consider those things gone he has no power over you. You made the mistake of trusting him, and you've hopefully learned to not do that again. Keep your distance and focus on building a solid life. Make spare keys for your new place, hide them. Make spares for your spares. Get to know your new landlord, see if you can help out around the property, who knows maybe he has other properties you can move to. Maybe setup hidden cameras inside your new spot. Consider getting pepper spray or a taser or a bat to have in the house. Hide knives around the unit. Stash some emergency cash in multiple places. Get to know your neighbors and alderman(or political equivalent). Call social services and non emergency police numbers to figure out all your options. Have a contingency plan for everything, it'll help you feel calm and confidence knowing you always have a back up plan. Be pragmatic, not emotional.

This is a very good lesson for you in becoming an independent adult. Sometimes you'll meet people that will try to bully you or take advantage of you, sometimes that person is family. Behind meanness is sadness and weakness. Leave them in their misery and turn your attention elsewhere. Show indifference and you become emotionally invincible to them.

You will outlive him and maybe in his old age he'll soften up and apologize, or maybe he'll be mean and cold to his death. It doesn't matter, this is your life, not his. You respect yourself and only entertain people that respect you the same way. Your destiny is your own.
Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.
 
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EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
625
Reaction score
824
Age
29
Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.
That was me and that's very good to hear! Remember to be consistent with practicing gratitude and positive imagery, it will form a habit and change your life by physically changing your brain.

You're exactly right, what cost can you put on peace of mind? It's extremely valuable. Very good to hear you're making progress!
 

Blacksheep

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
404
Reaction score
273
Age
29
Location
Brazil
That was me and that's very good to hear! Remember to be consistent with practicing gratitude and positive imagery, it will form a habit and change your life by physically changing your brain.

You're exactly right, what cost can you put on peace of mind? It's extremely valuable. Very good to hear you're making progress!
Thanks man! I'm really thankful for that! Those threads in here is helping me so much, and all the tips are so important!

I'm also working with some mantras chants, to help energize my body with positive energy and good vibrations. I'm kind of chanting the mantras as it seems to ressonate all your body into that energy. It kind helps creating that new self image and attract good things.

I still have a lot to learn, a lot to recover for my traumas... But I can already see a light!
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
12,679
Reaction score
7,189
Location
DFW, TX
Thanks for your reply man!

That's right... and after I got calm I just realized that. It doesn't worth to act emotionally on that case... Actually that was what he wants, cause if I did something stupid, he would use that against me.

I just left that behind. I lost my whole home gym that worth $6000+ (he donate all my equips it to a guy who have a gym here in my town) in brazilian currency. But man, getting on my bed at night with my mind clear and knowing I did everything correctly and I'm finally free from all those emotional abuse. It's quite good!

I have to rebuild everything now and it's not being so easy. Idk if it was you that told me about that book, but I'm just listening that "Psyco-Cybernetics" audiobook and it's giving me a lot of good lessons to rebuild my self image.
Perfect time perfect book. Line up you mental, physical, career, social growth. Get better daily. You see how quickly and how badly people can damage your life...
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Canada
Those actions are malicious and manipulative.
Your dad likely have personality disorder sociopathy or something similar.
Get away from him, remove your stuff from house and cut all contact, you will probably have to do the same with your mom to some extand.
I dont think things can be fixed with someone like this, you just cut him off completely.
Otherwise he will continue making you feel like ****, because that how he controls you.
 
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