The most complicated, uncomplicated divorce

[TheNewStyle123]

Hey guys,

Just want to vent a little here and maybe get some advice from my divorced dudes (or anyone in general).

7 months ago I separated from my wife. I served here back in September as she was being hesitant to give me her lawyers information and has a track record of being a pathological liar (at the time I don't think she even had an attorney and I wanted to get the ball rolling).

We sold our house in October and I moved into my new apartment October 31st. Since then, her and I have split up the cars, all of our assets in the home, the profit from the sale of the house, filed our taxes separately, and have agreed in the past that we would each keep our own bank accounts/401ks/Roths. Pretty amicable right? Should be pretty fuucking straight forward, right?

Well, she had 45 days after her severance to get her financial documents in with proof of all her assets. Just 3 WEEKS AGO she finally got them in. Not only did we have to file a motion to obtain these documents, but her and her lawyer "didn't realize" they missed the date of the hearing for the motion to file... while myself and my lawyers associate sat in a virtual zoom lobby for 45 minutes awaiting the hearing.

The motion was dropped because her lawyer claimed she "didn't mark it on her calendar" (bullish!t) and because she assured us that my wife got her documents in the night before and she would get them to us within the week. Last week we obtained the documents. All good. No fowl play. I asked my lawyer what we could do at this point to speed things up and avoid a pre-trial that is set in May. She drafted up a separation agreement that is MORE than fair. As I mentioned, there is literally nothing else left to split up. Well, that was a week ago and we still haven't heard anything from her or her attorney.

I should mention, I did not pay my lawyer a retainer, but rather a flat fee. So everything up to and including a pre-trial is all included. I have nothing to really lose at this point but I can't help but wonder why my wife is dragging this out. The agreement is more than fair and she had said to me on multiple occasions how much she just "wanted to get things taken care of" and "be done with this already."

Just have to vent a little. I do feel grateful that we have no kids and I am a few steps further now than I was a few months ago... but I just want to officially be divorced.

Otherwise, life is great and I am definitely enjoying doing my own thing, living life, learning how to be an independent 28 year old male, and spinning plates. That's all I can do.

---

Current mottos:

Power is the degree over which you control your own life.

Happiness is determined entirely by what YOU think, and what YOU think is up to YOU.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I did it without attorneys. At the end of the day I have no idea why people argue over their portion of things when they hand over 20-30K to attorneys which greatly reduces what is able to split.

 

[Lookatu]

I separated from my wife. I served here back in September

Otherwise, life is great and I am definitely enjoying doing my own thing, living life, learning how to be an independent 28 year old male, and spinning plates. That's all I can do.

I'm far from an expert on divorce but if you initiated the divorce, I can see why she'd be dragging her feet since you're the one that wanted it. She wants to see you squirm and pay you back in any way possible. Knowing that this type of delay gets to you is giving her some sort of satisfaction deep down.

Just make sure you get everything either in Text or in writing of what she said she'll do or have done.

Glad you got a flat fee attorney. Very smart move on your part.

As long as your life is great and you're spinning plates, having a finalized divorce doesn't impact you in terms of having any serious relationships so that's good.

Hang in there brother. Women like to play games like this, especially when they feel like you've wronged them.

 

[Black Widow Void]

To increase their income, I wonder if your ex's attorney is dragging this out?

Otherwise, I come up with nothing, but wish you a speedy and painless process.

 

[bat soup]

Hey guys,

Just want to vent a little here and maybe get some advice from my divorced dudes (or anyone in general).

7 months ago I separated from my wife. I served here back in September as she was being hesitant to give me her lawyers information and has a track record of being a pathological liar (at the time I don't think she even had an attorney and I wanted to get the ball rolling).

We sold our house in October and I moved into my new apartment October 31st. Since then, her and I have split up the cars, all of our assets in the home, the profit from the sale of the house, filed our taxes separately, and have agreed in the past that we would each keep our own bank accounts/401ks/Roths. Pretty amicable right? Should be pretty fuucking straight forward, right?

Well, she had 45 days after her severance to get her financial documents in with proof of all her assets. Just 3 WEEKS AGO she finally got them in. Not only did we have to file a motion to obtain these documents, but her and her lawyer "didn't realize" they missed the date of the hearing for the motion to file... while myself and my lawyers associate sat in a virtual zoom lobby for 45 minutes awaiting the hearing.

The motion was dropped because her lawyer claimed she "didn't mark it on her calendar" (bullish!t) and because she assured us that my wife got her documents in the night before and she would get them to us within the week. Last week we obtained the documents. All good. No fowl play. I asked my lawyer what we could do at this point to speed things up and avoid a pre-trial that is set in May. She drafted up a separation agreement that is MORE than fair. As I mentioned, there is literally nothing else left to split up. Well, that was a week ago and we still haven't heard anything from her or her attorney.

I should mention, I did not pay my lawyer a retainer, but rather a flat fee. So everything up to and including a pre-trial is all included. I have nothing to really lose at this point but I can't help but wonder why my wife is dragging this out. The agreement is more than fair and she had said to me on multiple occasions how much she just "wanted to get things taken care of" and "be done with this already."

Just have to vent a little. I do feel grateful that we have no kids and I am a few steps further now than I was a few months ago... but I just want to officially be divorced.

Otherwise, life is great and I am definitely enjoying doing my own thing, living life, learning how to be an independent 28 year old male, and spinning plates. That's all I can do.

---

Current mottos:

Power is the degree over which you control your own life.

Happiness is determined entirely by what YOU think, and what YOU think is up to YOU.

Her lawyer is probably whispering poison into her ear in order to rack up more fees.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

What's even more f!cked up apparently there is an old law in my state that says if a child is conceived during a divorce, even if it is not biologically mine, I could be responsible for child support. How f!cked up is that? That's why I really need this to get wrapped up. I know she is with another guy and who knows if she is aware of this law or not.

 

[Glassguy]

Maintain a strong frame and stay on your lawyer to get this done asap. You'll get divorced, and you'll move on.

Do not give her the pleasure of seeing their dragging feet get you worked up.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Maintain a strong frame and stay on your lawyer to get this done asap. You'll get divorced, and you'll move on.

Do not give her the pleasure of seeing their dragging feet get you worked up.

Yeah man great advice. It has been hard to hold my tongue this whole time - but I know responding or showing any emotion would show a sign of weakness and I'm not about to do that!

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey guys,

Just want to vent a little here and maybe get some advice from my divorced dudes (or anyone in general).

7 months ago I separated from my wife. I served here back in September as she was being hesitant to give me her lawyers information and has a track record of being a pathological liar (at the time I don't think she even had an attorney and I wanted to get the ball rolling).

We sold our house in October and I moved into my new apartment October 31st. Since then, her and I have split up the cars, all of our assets in the home, the profit from the sale of the house, filed our taxes separately, and have agreed in the past that we would each keep our own bank accounts/401ks/Roths. Pretty amicable right? Should be pretty fuucking straight forward, right?

Well, she had 45 days after her severance to get her financial documents in with proof of all her assets. Just 3 WEEKS AGO she finally got them in. Not only did we have to file a motion to obtain these documents, but her and her lawyer "didn't realize" they missed the date of the hearing for the motion to file... while myself and my lawyers associate sat in a virtual zoom lobby for 45 minutes awaiting the hearing.

The motion was dropped because her lawyer claimed she "didn't mark it on her calendar" (bullish!t) and because she assured us that my wife got her documents in the night before and she would get them to us within the week. Last week we obtained the documents. All good. No fowl play. I asked my lawyer what we could do at this point to speed things up and avoid a pre-trial that is set in May. She drafted up a separation agreement that is MORE than fair. As I mentioned, there is literally nothing else left to split up. Well, that was a week ago and we still haven't heard anything from her or her attorney.

I should mention, I did not pay my lawyer a retainer, but rather a flat fee. So everything up to and including a pre-trial is all included. I have nothing to really lose at this point but I can't help but wonder why my wife is dragging this out. The agreement is more than fair and she had said to me on multiple occasions how much she just "wanted to get things taken care of" and "be done with this already."

Just have to vent a little. I do feel grateful that we have no kids and I am a few steps further now than I was a few months ago... but I just want to officially be divorced.

Otherwise, life is great and I am definitely enjoying doing my own thing, living life, learning how to be an independent 28 year old male, and spinning plates. That's all I can do.

---

Current mottos:

Power is the degree over which you control your own life.

Happiness is determined entirely by what YOU think, and what YOU think is up to YOU.

All you can really do is focus on how you react to her actions. Do not focus on her actions as you have zero control over them.

Patience and class (be the better person ALWAYS) will be your best allies here. It sounds like you have the right mindset going through this and going forward, so focus on that, everything else will fall into place sooner or later.

Just make sure you have your bases covered (legally speaking) so you are not caught off guard and she's trying something sketchy (unlikely but possible).


Modern Man Advice

 

[TheNewStyle123]

All you can really do is focus on how you react to her actions. Do not focus on her actions as you have zero control over them.

Patience and class (be the better person ALWAYS) will be your best allies here. It sounds like you have the right mindset going through this and going forward, so focus on that, everything else will fall into place sooner or later.

Just make sure you have your bases covered (legally speaking) so you are not caught off guard and she's trying something sketchy (unlikely but possible).


Modern Man Advice

Thanks buddy! Great tips!

 

[RickTheToad]

Hey guys,

Just want to vent a little here and maybe get some advice from my divorced dudes (or anyone in general).

7 months ago I separated from my wife. I served here back in September as she was being hesitant to give me her lawyers information and has a track record of being a pathological liar (at the time I don't think she even had an attorney and I wanted to get the ball rolling).

We sold our house in October and I moved into my new apartment October 31st. Since then, her and I have split up the cars, all of our assets in the home, the profit from the sale of the house, filed our taxes separately, and have agreed in the past that we would each keep our own bank accounts/401ks/Roths. Pretty amicable right? Should be pretty fuucking straight forward, right?

Well, she had 45 days after her severance to get her financial documents in with proof of all her assets. Just 3 WEEKS AGO she finally got them in. Not only did we have to file a motion to obtain these documents, but her and her lawyer "didn't realize" they missed the date of the hearing for the motion to file... while myself and my lawyers associate sat in a virtual zoom lobby for 45 minutes awaiting the hearing.

The motion was dropped because her lawyer claimed she "didn't mark it on her calendar" (bullish!t) and because she assured us that my wife got her documents in the night before and she would get them to us within the week. Last week we obtained the documents. All good. No fowl play. I asked my lawyer what we could do at this point to speed things up and avoid a pre-trial that is set in May. She drafted up a separation agreement that is MORE than fair. As I mentioned, there is literally nothing else left to split up. Well, that was a week ago and we still haven't heard anything from her or her attorney.

I should mention, I did not pay my lawyer a retainer, but rather a flat fee. So everything up to and including a pre-trial is all included. I have nothing to really lose at this point but I can't help but wonder why my wife is dragging this out. The agreement is more than fair and she had said to me on multiple occasions how much she just "wanted to get things taken care of" and "be done with this already."

Just have to vent a little. I do feel grateful that we have no kids and I am a few steps further now than I was a few months ago... but I just want to officially be divorced.

Otherwise, life is great and I am definitely enjoying doing my own thing, living life, learning how to be an independent 28 year old male, and spinning plates. That's all I can do.

---

Current mottos:

Power is the degree over which you control your own life.

Happiness is determined entirely by what YOU think, and what YOU think is up to YOU.

Since you filed, she was all pissed. Since you wanted to move on, she wanted to delay and drag it out to hurt you. Classic female logic 101.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Since you filed, she was all pissed. Since you wanted to move on, she wanted to delay and drag it out to hurt you. Classic female logic 101.

You've hit the nail on the head Rick. I am glad I got a lawyer who I really like too. Just need to keep being patient..

 

[RickTheToad]

You've hit the nail on the head Rick. I am glad I got a lawyer who I really like too. Just need to keep being patient..

Had the same issue with my divorce. I filed, she delayed for a year and a half. I had to call the Judge's clerk every day until somehow my case was signed off on. Lotta people getting divorced 10 years ago I guess. Something that could had cost 400.00 to untie ended up costing me around 18k in legal fees and her 16k in legal fees (she paid). What a nightmare. I'll never go through that crap again. Never.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Had the same issue with my divorce. I filed, she delayed for a year and a half. I had to call the Judge's clerk every day until somehow my case was signed off on. Lotta people getting divorced 10 years ago I guess. Something that could had cost 400.00 to untie ended up costing me around 18k in legal fees and her 16k in legal fees (she paid). What a nightmare. I'll never go through that crap again. Never.

Did you have an attorney?

 

[RickTheToad]

Did you have an attorney?

Yep. The fees where court costs and attorney fees. She got nothing.