Dear don,
I feel that you are the only man that I can turn to. I have tried asking women how I can get her back. I have tried asking other men. But they just tell me to forget about her. And incase your wondering from the beginning to the end this is not infatuation or a crush this is true love. Although it was infatuation in the beginning. Here is the story: at about someitime in the beginning of November I had found this one girls website at
www.carisworld.com . It was like love at first sight. So I wrote my first out of 3 messages into her guest book that day. I also sent her an email making sure that I got into some sort of contact from her. She replied saying that what I wrote was one of the most sweetest things a guys ever said to her. I was both flattered and took it as a sign that sweetness and charm was the key to unlocking her heart. Later on I told her about a dream that I had of her. It was VERY romantic. She replied saying that even though I was a shy guy it sounded by the dream that I had real potential.So she told me more about herself.(age, location, goals in life). And I did the same. I told her the things I enjoyed. and we got to know each other very quickly. This was like a dream come true for me. later she asked for me to go on yahoo instant messanger chat with her. This was a big step for me. Not that I've never talked to a girl before. But something about this girl made my heart beat out of my chest and kept me awake at night. So she contacted me through yahoo instant messanger and she was very excited to talk to her secret admirer. I talked to her. and she was very happy about the sweet things that I said about her peotry... I started feeling all of these feelings that I have never felt about a girl before... So I started to write about them to her... Amazing she started to cry... I never knew that she was going to cry when I opened up to her... I wasen't going to mess this up... (well, atleast not on purpose)... So she asked for my phone number... And that REALLY suprised me... I didn't know what to say... But I knew I would have to get over my shyness someday so I gave it to her... (by the way she lives in south florida)... And I live in washington state... So when she first called I was VERY VERY VERY nervous it felt like I was going to have a heart attack... But I kept my guard up... I made sure not to say anything stupid... I was not going to blow up something so wonderful by being boring... So I said hi when she called... and we hit it off... Even though I was VERY nervous... I made sure to say all the right things... But I really couldn't say that much to her... I was so nervous and I could barely talk... But I went outside... And as soon as she asked if I was cold I had the perfect answer..: "I have my love of you to keep me warm".. Nice huh.. I thought it was.. Anyways to make this more short she called me EVERYDAY and soon 20 min a day turned into an hour a day and then 2 hours a day before I knew it she was calling me everday for atleast a few days!! I was very nervous everytime worried that I was going to be an idiot and say something stupid. Well it happened. one time she insulted or as she called " helpful critisism" about my site. ouch. I was more upset and angry at her then hurt. So I started to do the stupidest thing that I still can't believe to this day that I did to this day.: I critisized and without even knowing it I accidentilly insulted her talent as a journalist. BIG MISTAKE! And to this day I still can't believe how stupid I was. I for the first time had her call me. And without control when I heard her crying I hated myself even more. She was the one person I never wanted to see hurting. I loved her so much that I started to cry on the phone without control. I told her that I would never insult/critisize her EVER again. And I never critisized her again. And not a day goes by that I dont want to kill myself knowing that I hurt her. But the next day to my suprise she called me. I again felt so bad I apologized again. BIG MISTAKE #2. she wanted to forget that it ever happened and all I was doing was the start of me smothing her. So as it went on she kept calling me which I loved. But I started to get the feeling that she felt obligated to call me. I never wanted her to do somehing that would make her end it. So when she called after a awhile I would tell her some excuse that I had to go and end the conversation with her. big big big mistake. I should have never changed the way that I acted towards her. Just because I was trying to make things better between me and her made it seem like I was just pushing her farther away. But I wanted her to know that I wasent forgetting about her. And I felt that she thought that I was. So I asked her many times to go on cam. I asked her many times to call me. I asked her to send me pics, ect, ect, ect. Instead of prooving to her that she meant something to me what I was actually doing was smothering her even more. And I had the feeling that I was smothering her. But I just asked myself if she did the same thing to me would I think it was smothering? (ofcourse not). So I ignored the feelings that I got. And I continued to smother her, later on she told me that I was smothering her and I had to sit down and as I realized that I was right all along, that I actually was smothering and not prooving to her that she meant something I immediatly knew that the pressure was over. I could finally stop trying to impress her. All it was doing was bugging her as much as it was me. I thought here was the time I could just act like I did in the beginning and she could just act like she did in the begining. So I called her up and told her that I was going to stop smothering her and that I would be just like I was in the beginning. But to my suprise as honest as I was being with her she didn't believe me. She said "whatever". I was shocked! She had believed that I was going to continue to smother her! You see the problem with her is she cant change her mind. Once she thinks that a person is obsessed with her and AFTER he starts acting like he did to her in the beggining she still thinks hes obsessed! I didn't get it! If I stopped acting obsessed. Isn't that supossed to make her stop thinking I'm obsessed? but now I realized that I could change back into being completely NOT obsessed. I could act just like I did from day one. I could be more NONobsessed than anyone ever has to her and that she would still think I'm obsessed. I could go for years, lifetimes, centurys, without talking to her as an obsessed person or not talking to her at all!!!.. But the thing with her is that she would still have her mind made up that I am obsessed with her... You see if I change for her... If I become a body builder who cooks fime italian pasta meals, (alfraido, lazanya, spegetti with peperchenie sause, ect.) and if I started to make millions, and if I was just as perfect as she would want, (charming, loving, honest, loyal, devotional, suprising, unsuspecting, suporting, providing, and protecting,) non of this will mean a thing to her. And lets say that I act as if I am the most UNobsessed person in the world. Scratch that. The UNIVERSE. Her mind will still be made up that I am obsessed. Listen. I am not obsessed. Did I act obsessed? yes.Will I continue to act this way? No.But will she continue to think I am even if shes wrong? yes. ok don. This is what I don't get. This is the problem that I am having. I feel like a poor person who later on in life became a millionare having a hard time prooving to people that I'm not poor just because I used to be. Now that I can relax and stop prooving to her that I love her. How do I get her to BELIEVE that I'm not obsessed just because she believes it. And because it the way I USED to act? I don't care what others say anymore... It's only your advise that I will accept.. so whatever you tell me, I will take it seriously..(but please don't tell me: "forget her". Because that dosen't help me proove to her that I'm not obsessed and that also dosen't help the situation. Thank you don. And please reply asap.ps. you have the permission to post this on your site, and whatever you can do that would help is what is needed from you. thank you my fellow man.
I've made few more mistakes, I worshipped her and begged like a dogg, pretty much just a bunch of treating her like a goddess. BIG MISTAKE. Don't worry I wont do that again. I've learned all of the lessons that I need to learn to not make the same mistakes again in the future. And if I could do it all again with the knowledge that I have picked up I wouldn't loose her again. So now that I know that I wont make the same mistakes again. The only problem is how do I get her back to talking to me so that I can show and proove to her that I wont be a dogg who worships her and that I can be the man that isn't pathetic but still knows how to treat a woman.. The problem isn't changing.. Thats kinda hard but I succeeded in being the perfect guy that she wants. The problem is how do I get the chance to proove it to her, now that I've messed up in the past?
