The more you abuse them, the harder it is to let go.

[tesla8520]

So many women struggle to leave an abusive man.

https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/1ocqsut
Notice how many of them say they've broken up and gotten back together more than five times.

No one talks about whether these women had any trauma that led to these dynamics.

Everyone blames the abusive man.

 

[Bigpapa]

It is trauma bonding

most likely they are abusers themselves, or grew up in an abusive environment . Or both

A woman that does not tick any of this will never stay in a dynamic with an abusive guy

 

[plumber]

i have known couples where the man is abusive to the women (physically and mentally). others where the men are strong and kind, and really support the woman. generally it doesn't matter the women still do what they do, only the reasons change.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Everyone blames the abusive man.

Admitting outright:

"I wasn't a helpless 5 month old... I was 18+, and made a conscious choice to affiliate with bottom feeders, in no small part due to my being such a creature myself. I was dishing out a barrage of maltreatment onto my colleagues, waiters, baristas, anyone who wasn't likely to send me out of the building in a stretcher, even as I myself was being clobbered at home"

Can be uncomfortable. Therefore, most folks choose to NOT do so

Next, we'll discover that human fervor for individual liberty is, in actuality, more rare than the sight of tumbleweeds in Antartica. Most of us yearn for a messianic strong man who'll "protect" us from all events we find disagreeable in some way

 

[Clockwerk50]

It is the pattern of creating pleasure and inflicting pain that creates deep wounds and makes a woman weak and dependent. When affection is repeatedly given and withdrawn, it creates anxiety and uncertainty. The alternation between feeling loved and fearing that love has been lost can strengthen the bond and make it harder to let go.

 

[Bigpapa]

It is the pattern of creating pleasure and inflicting pain that creates deep wounds and makes a woman weak and dependent. When affection is repeatedly given and withdrawn, it creates anxiety and uncertainty. The alternation between feeling loved and fearing that love has been lost can strengthen the bond and make it harder to let go.

From my experience the people whom get abused are abusers themselves, and usually it spans from their childhood. Even in the same relationship one second they get abused and the next one they are abusing the other person

it is more or less a power game

I never saw people coming from warm families being abused or abusing others

 

[tesla8520]

i have known couples where the man is abusive to the women (physically and mentally). others where the men are strong and kind, and really support the woman. generally it doesn't matter the women still do what they do, only the reasons change.

Good point, it is not clear what is the meaning, would you elabtorate?

It is the pattern of creating pleasure and inflicting pain that creates deep wounds and makes a woman weak and dependent. When affection is repeatedly given and withdrawn, it creates anxiety and uncertainty. The alternation between feeling loved and fearing that love has been lost can strengthen the bond and make it harder to let go.

I can predict the future of that relationship: the body will start to give phisical signs.
Infact, there'll be that "revelation" moment, when that woman body in an abusive relationship, cannot tolerate what is happening, no more, so she will go.

It's like something I have with my father, whenever I hear his voice, my body get activated.

I never saw people coming from warm families being abused or abusing others

Until you know them, or get to spend at least a week with them (holiday, etc..)
There is this couple of friends that are perfect in public, but after I've spent 3 days with them on a travel, I saw their true souls behind the mask