The more fake you are

[jhonny9546]

You will have more success in life.
You will have more success with women.
People will come to you and tell their darkest secrets.


Could you guys explain this why?

Being fake example:
They spread rumors and false information about other people, and talk about them behind, while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations. Usually those people are so good in having the mask, that would make people to tell their darkest secrets to them.

Explain why women are actracted to those men.

 

[Murk]

Seek therapy

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Stop taking so many black pills, bro.

 

[Reincarnated]

I've seen some pretty bad threads on this board, this one ranks pretty high on that list. If you don't genuinely have attractive qualities, then there is some truth in "faking it" to a degree. But all else equal, those who genuinely possess attractive qualities will eat the fakers lunch over time.

 

[Velasco]

They spread rumors and false information about other people, and talk about them behind, while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations

Sounds like everyone who ends up moving up in the company.

while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations

But how this relates to women. I believe all women in the back of their heads want to be emotionally abused. So if you present a convincing good face, they can buy in that you will give them a higher high than the ones who they already predict how the relationship will go. The ones who present themselves as they are. It's boring no challenge. She doesn't want to understand you as much as she says she does.

All successful politicians are fake. They know how to act and what to say to garner the most fans. The best actors that win the most awards are the best fakers obviously. Because they are super good at acting and make you believe what they are feeling in the movie is real.

Of course you will be hated by a lot who will call you fake. But you can't please everyone. Nor should you. Just the people that matter to your goals.

 

[Solomon]

You will have more success in life.
You will have more success with women.
People will come to you and tell their darkest secrets.


Could you guys explain this why?

Being fake example:
They spread rumors and false information about other people, and talk about them behind, while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations. Usually those people are so good in having the mask, that would make people to tell their darkest secrets to them.

Explain why women are actracted to those men.

People who smile in your face and talk ISH behind your back are pretty common, even a lot of men do it. One thing I've learned is this If someone is willing to talk ISH about someone else to you, whom they consider a "Friend" they will talk ISH about you as well!

addressing the fake it until you make it part, a lot of people in 2024 are trying to keep up with a social media image that's not realistic personally I don't care for fake people, they don't make good friends in my experience and they sure as hell don't make good girlfriends. IF you OP are chasing after a bimbo or party girl I can understand why you feel that way, but maybe you should go after people with more substance

 

[Clockwerk50]

Sounds like everyone who ends up moving up in the company.

Yup, it happened to me. About 3 colleagues, who shared the same ethnicity and came from Dubai, kept going over my head with stupid inquiries and complains to my boss about me. Guess who had a bad performance review while the other people were able to switch departments for a promotion.

They would literally email me, CC my boss, and email something petty like “your employee keeps asking me for help. We are failing him as an employee if we are not training them nor giving them the tools necessary to succeed in the company”.

Other times when I asked for help they would be like “You do whatever you gotta do but if we lose the account I am washing my hands and it will not be my fault” and I had to reply with the “well it is not my fault either since it is a directive from the executive team so it is in your best interest to assist me”.

People from Dubai are dangerous. I stopped hiring them for a reason.

I had to vent. Anyways, carry on lol

 

[Millard Fillmore]

You will have more success in life.
You will have more success with women.
People will come to you and tell their darkest secrets.


Could you guys explain this why?

Being fake example:
They spread rumors and false information about other people, and talk about them behind, while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations. Usually those people are so good in having the mask, that would make people to tell their darkest secrets to them.

Explain why women are actracted to those men.

No. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question

 

[jhonny9546]

Sounds like everyone who ends up moving up in the company.

You get the point.

I believe all women in the back of their heads want to be emotionally abused.

This is what keep the fire on (for them).
Your life should look like an emotional treadmill.. (for them)

 

[Plinco]

You will have more success in life.
You will have more success with women.
People will come to you and tell their darkest secrets.


Could you guys explain this why?

Being fake example:
They spread rumors and false information about other people, and talk about them behind, while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations. Usually those people are so good in having the mask, that would make people to tell their darkest secrets to them.

Explain why women are actracted to those men.

This is a misconception. What you are confusing with is social intelligence, which at its root is pattern recognition. Being a liar will cause people to not trust you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You will have more success in life.
You will have more success with women.
People will come to you and tell their darkest secrets.


Could you guys explain this why?

Being fake example:
They spread rumors and false information about other people, and talk about them behind, while having a "good face" in front of them, to gather the informations. Usually those people are so good in having the mask, that would make people to tell their darkest secrets to them.

Explain why women are actracted to those men.

If being conscientious of how we present to the rest of humanity is now considered "being fake"... Then yeah, you're correct. Those who are well-prepared, calculated, and deliberate typically triumph, while those who choose NOT to live consciously more often than not flounder

 

[Slowhandluke]

ghenis khan believed in meritocracy. he was ruthless.. he climbed up the "social ladder". he even killed his step brother for stealing. those that climb up the ladder by lying may succeed, but in the long run it is not a high chance of succeeding or for staying at the top. remember the average tenor of a ceo is only a few years.

at the end of the day, even as a follower or a leader, you need trustful people. as a group, killing or taking advantage of a lone wolf who lies or cheats is easy.

 

[zekko]

This reminds me of something I have done occasionally to strengthen relationships with women. I'm not proud of it, but I've done it. I would intentionally engage in some intentionally malicious gossip (usually in a lighthearted, tongue in cheek way) that I know will please the girl I'm talking to. Like I would gossip about some other girl that I knew the girl didn't like, and that even though I didn't want to say something bad about the other girl, I knew she would get a laugh out of it and gain me some favor. So I played the world's game, which is being hateful, but it will gain you social points.

This is similar to the OP's statement. Being fake is playing the world's game, which is distasteful, but will get you ahead in the world.

 

[jhonny9546]

In comparison to your stoic self-control state, their lives should be an emotional rollercoaster

Oh now it's clearer!
And yes, as a men you want the "stoic self-control state" in your life! That's right.
So how could you live in an LTR with a women that need "chaos"?
If you have an LTR with "stoic self-control state" We know that the women will feel bored and leave.
I see so many LTR where there is a lot of argue which brings excitement which will explode in hot sex.
This is what an LTR should look like?
Basically an hero journey chart?

 

[jhonny9546]

This reminds me of something I have done occasionally to strengthen relationships with women. I'm not proud of it, but I've done it. I would intentionally engage in some intentionally malicious gossip (usually in a lighthearted, tongue in cheek way) that I know will please the girl I'm talking to. Like I would gossip about some other girl that I knew the girl didn't like, and that even though I didn't want to say something bad about the other girl, I knew she would get a laugh out of it and gain me some favor. So I played the world's game, which is being hateful, but it will gain you social points.

This is similar to the OP's statement. Being fake is playing the world's game, which is distasteful, but will get you ahead in the world.

THis is exactly what makes me write the post in the First instance.
Is there a name for this human behaviour and why people crave it?
After you start to talk malicious gossip with someone, about another person, this someone will start to see you as someone who can give "confidential" material.
We know that you will start to use this material to make more malicius gossip about it, but with someone else.
So those people are malicious but why the're like sugar for ants?

 

[jhonny9546]

She doesn't need chaos, she is chaos. You're supposed to be the rock she can crash into.

You look too much in the wrong direction. You can give women high emotions without quarrelling.

Convert this to IRL.
In women-to-men interactions, women tend to be very playful and you are in control.
You don't smile or laugh as much as she does, but you can be very nuanced.
She tries to elicit that playful emotion in the conversation, but you remain in control, without feeling that emotion.
(Will She feel like she has not entered your frame?)

Or

In women-to-men interactions, women are often very playful and you are in control.
You smile like her or even more.
She tries to elicit that playful emotion, and you will respond to her or even initiate it beforehand.
(Will She feel like she has entered your frame?)

So which is correct behaviour for a men?

No, you're still catering too much to what women want, and not enough to what they need.

The difference is so big?

Dread game.

I've heard about it, is this a good thing for an LTR, not only with women, but with other people relationships too?
Does it comes naturally or you need to apply it like a "forced" behaviour?

 

[jhonny9546]

Neither. There is not 'correct' behaviour.
There is behaviour that attracts her and there is behaviour that repulses her, and how your behaviour affects her differs not just from one woman to another, but even one moment to another.
If you're grounded in authenticity and integrity (or what people here refer to as 'frame'), you will become more attractive to some women and less attractive to others.

We are getting there!
So somehow and there, you have to fake your behaviour if you find out that there is something that turns her on, but which you don't like to do?
I mean, "Just be yourself", never worked out for me. What is wrong about it? Are you saying JBY and that's it?

Most people think they know what they want and think they know what they need. In most cases, they only scratch the surface. If you understand psychology, you know that what people want and what they need is often diametrically opposed.

Very interesting.

A women that is dressing so well, making it to appear the best, to look extroverted, but in the meanwhile, she's so introverted, and in needs of validation? Would this be a good example or totally wrong?

The 'classic' dread game comes from making people afraid that you have the power to 'walk away' from the relationship. People will use 'I can get better' to make other people adjust to their wishes. While powerful, this is still a game to get someone to 'toe the line' and 'dread game players' will closely watch their (emotional) investment and the investment of the other players.
The biggest problem with dread game is that you're manipulating other people's emotions.
If you fail, you lose your power over someone. If you win, you lose your respect for the loser.
And ultimately you lose respect for yourself.

Hmm!
I can see this happened and happening to my friend LTR with his wife.
In particular, my friend started to be more "cold" and "bored" about his wife.
And As you said, She started to get mad, in the sense, She started to seek the areas of his life where She could bring more to him. She started to get fit, cook healthy food for both, make him the best and dirty sex they had in the past 10 years.
In the meanwhile, My friend is keeping his hand stable. It's not validating her, even She's showing him the effort to save their LTR.
As you've said, He feel that it's manipulating her, and He really doesn't know if this would be a good thing for their LTR present and future.
"And ultimately you lose respect for yourself."

Dread game is manipulation, i.e. learned behaviour.

This seems an "unnatural" behaviour. Is that a good thing to do in your life to women and others?
I see this very obviously in businesses, where the head or managers act like this.
But also in LTR.
I don't see this in my parents or sister LTR.


ps: sorry for my bad english

 

[jhonny9546]

What you say it's really interesting but difficult to understand, at least for me

 

[parabellum]

The way I tried to make it less complicated for me: let’s imagine a line that marks the 50/50% power balance in a LTR. Then as a rule of thumb, I’m always striving to be slightly over 50%. Things usually break when you’re either too below or too above 50% for too long, so another lesson I learned is that giving back some power in exchange of balance has its benefits.

I imagine there will be people who will find comfort living at a different baseline balance (%), but I believe the analogy remains.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Just be yourself", never worked out for me. What is wrong about it?

When what we're currently doing ain't bringing us anywhere closer to our goals, it's wise to both

-Modify some of our current behaviors

-Jettison others entirely, and replace them with more functional, healthy ones

Our contemporary fixation on "authenticity" ignores the fact that it's more "authentic" for human beings to piss and s-it on whatever ground we happen to be standing on at the moment, rather than using indoor plumbing. We(Well, those of us living in highly advanced civilizations anyway)altered our behavior though, upon realizing that "just being our natural selves" kept us in a state of near constant Cholera and E Coli