"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The **** Monologues (aka the penis monologues)

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Chosen1

Master Don Juan
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I think some our **** stories would be interesting and by **** stories I mean the stories that girls don't know

Mine would start of like this

I wake up with a giant boner and pee. My master is smart but dumb he has hopes of banging the chick at the learning center. He goes home and shower wait what are you doing..... Put down the razor ah ahhhhhh no it burns. I spend days recovering from his mutalation of me. Oh quit talking to her she doesn't like you or maybe she does I'm blind and deaf and pissed you tried to shave me. No matter what gunwitch says about girls giving you blow jobs, she isn't going to give you one if she doesn't see me. Besides you masterbated me so much I probably wouldn't like it if she touched me anyway..... To be continued what do you guys think We can start a world tour of guys manliness. WHO'S WITH ME
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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T

Teflon_Mcgee

Master Don Juan
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I am king. I am the ruler. It is at my will that pleasure shall be felt. Smite me and you shall be smitted. Be weak and my bidding will be done. I am your greatest friend. Except for when I am your greatest enemy.
 
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THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
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Newmarket, Ontario
Praise me, the one with the purple helmet. All women shall kneel down and worship me. And they shall return to their kinsfolk and sing tales of my many victories. and their girlfriends shall come to worship me, as I don my latex armour and prepare for battle, riding to glory for years to c*m
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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