squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
- Reaction score
- 178
- Age
- 45
It's funny...the other day I was driving to work and I came up with this makeshift scenario.
Suppose one day an enchantress appeared to you and offered you a proposition: you would be able to have any woman you wanted, regardless of any other situation or circumstances. Any woman you had sexual desires for you could have wild, animal sex with. There's only one catch: NO ONE would ever know about it. Meaning your family, friends, all the guys on sosuave.com, everyone would think you were still a virgin. The women themselves would know you were banging them, but they'd think that they were the only girl you ever had sex with. Even if you tried to tell them, they'd never believe you.
Of course I'd take that deal.
But then I got to thinking about how hard it would be for me to actually live with that arrangement. I know that often when I see a hot girl, one of the first things I think about is, "Can I gain props by showing her to my friends? How would me banging this girl affect my 'coolness' level?"
We all talk about the social stigmas that women deal with when having sex (the whole "I don't want to come off as a slut" thing). It seems that men have powerful social stigmas associated with sex as well. To them, it's a symbol of status among peers. I find myself in the debilitating position where I'm trying to hook up with women not to satisfy my own desires, but to impress my friends, both in real life and here on sosuave.com. I know that usually when I get digits/kiss-close/etc with a girl, I HAVE to tell at least one or two of my close friends.
Which leads me naturally to the conclusion that I'm approaching women and trying to get laid not because I WANT TO, but because I have something to prove. And it's not always to other people...sometimes it's to myself. A REAL DJ should be comfortable creating his own self-image and not need approval from anyone, even his own ego.
When I approach a particularly attractive woman, I always think to myself, "Hey, if I can land her, then I'll be the man among my peers!" So I end up putting a lot of stress on "success" with this girl and I end up forgetting about just having fun, and needless to say, I end up losing her. Whereas it's the not-so-hot girls that I kind of ignore because I can't "show her off" that I end up seducing, because there's no concern with status. She's just another ho.
Think about a so-called "natural DJ" that you know. Chances are he was pretty popular back in school. Who knows why this person was popular. Maybe he was rich and had nice clothes and a nice car. Maybe he was extremely talented at something. Maybe he was active in a lot of things. Maybe he was the bad kid that gave the teacher a hard time. The AFC sees this and thinks, "women are shallow! They only go for the popular guys!"
If you take a more DJ look at this, the REASON that girls go for these guys is because they are self-assured and confident! When they pursue a girl, they do it because they WANT to. They're ALREADY popular, so they don't need to prove themselves by netting hot women. You may notice that lots of times, the Alpha male doesn't even TALK about his conquests in great detail, except when called out about it by lesser Beta males. An Alpha doesn't go telling his friends what girls he's banging, it's the Betas that say, "Did you bang her? How far'd you get? Whoah!"
Then the Betas assume that popularity comes from banging hot chicks, so they endeavor to go out and bang the best women out there and come back and tell all their friends, so they can be elevated to Alpha status.
The thing is that the title of "Alpha Male" isn't a socially-granted title. It's something that has to be achieved at an individual level...you either ARE or you AREN'T.
All this time I've been approaching women for all the wrong reasons: to prove something to my peers and to prove something to myself. Not because I was horny and had genuine desire for these women.
Weird, huh?
So why do YOU "chase the cat"?
Suppose one day an enchantress appeared to you and offered you a proposition: you would be able to have any woman you wanted, regardless of any other situation or circumstances. Any woman you had sexual desires for you could have wild, animal sex with. There's only one catch: NO ONE would ever know about it. Meaning your family, friends, all the guys on sosuave.com, everyone would think you were still a virgin. The women themselves would know you were banging them, but they'd think that they were the only girl you ever had sex with. Even if you tried to tell them, they'd never believe you.
Of course I'd take that deal.
But then I got to thinking about how hard it would be for me to actually live with that arrangement. I know that often when I see a hot girl, one of the first things I think about is, "Can I gain props by showing her to my friends? How would me banging this girl affect my 'coolness' level?"We all talk about the social stigmas that women deal with when having sex (the whole "I don't want to come off as a slut" thing). It seems that men have powerful social stigmas associated with sex as well. To them, it's a symbol of status among peers. I find myself in the debilitating position where I'm trying to hook up with women not to satisfy my own desires, but to impress my friends, both in real life and here on sosuave.com. I know that usually when I get digits/kiss-close/etc with a girl, I HAVE to tell at least one or two of my close friends.
Which leads me naturally to the conclusion that I'm approaching women and trying to get laid not because I WANT TO, but because I have something to prove. And it's not always to other people...sometimes it's to myself. A REAL DJ should be comfortable creating his own self-image and not need approval from anyone, even his own ego.
When I approach a particularly attractive woman, I always think to myself, "Hey, if I can land her, then I'll be the man among my peers!" So I end up putting a lot of stress on "success" with this girl and I end up forgetting about just having fun, and needless to say, I end up losing her. Whereas it's the not-so-hot girls that I kind of ignore because I can't "show her off" that I end up seducing, because there's no concern with status. She's just another ho.
Think about a so-called "natural DJ" that you know. Chances are he was pretty popular back in school. Who knows why this person was popular. Maybe he was rich and had nice clothes and a nice car. Maybe he was extremely talented at something. Maybe he was active in a lot of things. Maybe he was the bad kid that gave the teacher a hard time. The AFC sees this and thinks, "women are shallow! They only go for the popular guys!"
If you take a more DJ look at this, the REASON that girls go for these guys is because they are self-assured and confident! When they pursue a girl, they do it because they WANT to. They're ALREADY popular, so they don't need to prove themselves by netting hot women. You may notice that lots of times, the Alpha male doesn't even TALK about his conquests in great detail, except when called out about it by lesser Beta males. An Alpha doesn't go telling his friends what girls he's banging, it's the Betas that say, "Did you bang her? How far'd you get? Whoah!"
Then the Betas assume that popularity comes from banging hot chicks, so they endeavor to go out and bang the best women out there and come back and tell all their friends, so they can be elevated to Alpha status.
The thing is that the title of "Alpha Male" isn't a socially-granted title. It's something that has to be achieved at an individual level...you either ARE or you AREN'T.
All this time I've been approaching women for all the wrong reasons: to prove something to my peers and to prove something to myself. Not because I was horny and had genuine desire for these women.
Weird, huh?
So why do YOU "chase the cat"?
