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The lonely life of the player

Medina

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I thought guys like us were meant to be like the captain of the football team

That's what I hear

"Everyone likes them, everyone wants to be their friend"

Not in my experience. No one likes us. We are lone wolves

Appealing at first but eventually discarded, by friend or h0e
 

RickTheToad

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I thought guys like us were meant to be like the captain of the football team

That's what I hear

"Everyone likes them, everyone wants to be their friend"

Not in my experience. No one likes us. We are lone wolves

Appealing at first but eventually discarded, by friend or h0e
Ever have a funky cold medina?
 

wifehunter

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I thought guys like us were meant to be like the captain of the football team

That's what I hear

"Everyone likes them, everyone wants to be their friend"

Not in my experience. No one likes us. We are lone wolves

Appealing at first but eventually discarded, by friend or h0e
That's why I don't bother. It's mostly hello... goodbye!

Keep it short.

Anyone 'mission oriented' is liked at first, then most people get jealous. Then, things get ugly.

Then, I'm gone!
 

BeExcellent

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The man I have been dating has the same perspective as the OP. The player’s life can be lonely, empty & meaningless. But for men who haven’t reached player status it’s romanticized and sought after to such a degree that men who haven’t been there won’t believe you.

They can’t. They don’t realize how other people will use the player for their own aims, they don’t know that pursuit of sexual pleasure for pleasure’s sake deprives you of meaningful connection with another human being, and they are short sighted.

I’ve known many players over the years personally as friends. I married one & I’m seeing one now almost 2 years in.

Today my BF was telling me about his best friend. The best friend is tall, great looking, successful and a good man. He’s in his early 50s and has no issue attracting women. He’s so over endless rotations of plates. He has no companionship, nobody who knows his “story” as Paul Zanka would put it, no wife, no kids, etc. His friends have families and meaningful relationships in their lives and his friends don’t have meaningful time to spend with him because they have more fulfilled lives with their family.

He is disillusioned. A man I know is in the exact same boat. He’s a retired professional athlete, successful, handsome & great looking...mid 50s as well, and also a lifelong bachelor. Exact same feeling about his life. Like he’s missed the boat chasing pleasure and missed out on meaning. It’s sad. That time is gone for good. But 20 years ago neither one of these men would have thought this is how they would feel in their 50s.

My guy is seeing that same writing on the wall. He worries about growing old alone. Even though women flock to him. He has few real friends. My ex husband struggles with it too. Same thing. Loneliness and few friends & waning desire to endlessly chase women.

Maybe it’s that men hit the wall roughly 10 years later than women...but age comes for us all eventually.

I like what Jordan Peterson has to say on the subject. Seek meaning instead of pleasure...but pleasure is a most seductive pursuit, so it’s tough when the disillusionment sets in.
 

Murk

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Everyone is a snake and everyone will snake you. People are haters, when I’m flying high people at work will conspire against you. Your close friends and family will celebrate your wins, everyone else is planning your downfall. Harsh but true, this is the way of the world if you want to be a true player in life.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Everyone is a snake and everyone will snake you. People are haters, when I’m flying high people at work will conspire against you. Your close friends and family will celebrate your wins, everyone else is planning your downfall. Harsh but true, this is the way of the world if you want to be a true player in life.
Sometimes family will support your downfall. In the end we have ourselves and those who celebrate us.
 

Spaz

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The man I have been dating has the same perspective as the OP. The player’s life can be lonely, empty & meaningless. But for men who haven’t reached player status it’s romanticized and sought after to such a degree that men who haven’t been there won’t believe you.

They can’t. They don’t realize how other people will use the player for their own aims, they don’t know that pursuit of sexual pleasure for pleasure’s sake deprives you of meaningful connection with another human being, and they are short sighted.

I’ve known many players over the years personally as friends. I married one & I’m seeing one now almost 2 years in.

Today my BF was telling me about his best friend. The best friend is tall, great looking, successful and a good man. He’s in his early 50s and has no issue attracting women. He’s so over endless rotations of plates. He has no companionship, nobody who knows his “story” as Paul Zanka would put it, no wife, no kids, etc. His friends have families and meaningful relationships in their lives and his friends don’t have meaningful time to spend with him because they have more fulfilled lives with their family.

He is disillusioned. A man I know is in the exact same boat. He’s a retired professional athlete, successful, handsome & great looking...mid 50s as well, and also a lifelong bachelor. Exact same feeling about his life. Like he’s missed the boat chasing pleasure and missed out on meaning. It’s sad. That time is gone for good. But 20 years ago neither one of these men would have thought this is how they would feel in their 50s.

My guy is seeing that same writing on the wall. He worries about growing old alone. Even though women flock to him. He has few real friends. My ex husband struggles with it too. Same thing. Loneliness and few friends & waning desire to endlessly chase women.

Maybe it’s that men hit the wall roughly 10 years later than women...but age comes for us all eventually.

I like what Jordan Peterson has to say on the subject. Seek meaning instead of pleasure...but pleasure is a most seductive pursuit, so it’s tough when the disillusionment sets in.
They r only deluded and lonely because they seek meaning from women.

If you were to ask Einstein, he'd be happy to tell you he'd wished more time to spend exploring the universe.

If it was me, I'd be more then happy to tell you I wish more power even if I'm in my 40's now.

Maybe I'll become a politician and start off conquering a slice of the earth but I'd rather have the universe and make it my purpose.

Do I enjoy the company of women?

Yes, but not for any extended time, most women have little intellectual depth and I find talking to men much more entertaining.

The only need I have for a woman is to temper my aggressiveness and also to sometimes offer me some solace of the things ive done that would slowly eat a man up.
 

Epic Days

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I prefer a woman who comes to me for pleasure. There is peace in that. To me that is her giving you her best.

An honest lover tempers my soul without the attempted extraction of it’s substance. Her best part is her sex and the fulfillment of her true feminine identity. There is no game or ulterior motive.
She can just be a woman there.
 
Last edited:

Alvafe

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I thought guys like us were meant to be like the captain of the football team

That's what I hear

"Everyone likes them, everyone wants to be their friend"

Not in my experience. No one likes us. We are lone wolves

Appealing at first but eventually discarded, by friend or h0e
being liked hardly means having time to use on certain things, if you work spend time on hobby workout and so on less time you have "free", and in the end of the day you just want to chill till next day, yes we are lone wolfes because we are happy and ok alone, and don't bother to lower our life just to have someone close, if the woman can't add you are well enough alone so why waste time?
The man I have been dating has the same perspective as the OP. The player’s life can be lonely, empty & meaningless. But for men who haven’t reached player status it’s romanticized and sought after to such a degree that men who haven’t been there won’t believe you.

They can’t. They don’t realize how other people will use the player for their own aims, they don’t know that pursuit of sexual pleasure for pleasure’s sake deprives you of meaningful connection with another human being, and they are short sighted.

I’ve known many players over the years personally as friends. I married one & I’m seeing one now almost 2 years in.

Today my BF was telling me about his best friend. The best friend is tall, great looking, successful and a good man. He’s in his early 50s and has no issue attracting women. He’s so over endless rotations of plates. He has no companionship, nobody who knows his “story” as Paul Zanka would put it, no wife, no kids, etc. His friends have families and meaningful relationships in their lives and his friends don’t have meaningful time to spend with him because they have more fulfilled lives with their family.

He is disillusioned. A man I know is in the exact same boat. He’s a retired professional athlete, successful, handsome & great looking...mid 50s as well, and also a lifelong bachelor. Exact same feeling about his life. Like he’s missed the boat chasing pleasure and missed out on meaning. It’s sad. That time is gone for good. But 20 years ago neither one of these men would have thought this is how they would feel in their 50s.

My guy is seeing that same writing on the wall. He worries about growing old alone. Even though women flock to him. He has few real friends. My ex husband struggles with it too. Same thing. Loneliness and few friends & waning desire to endlessly chase women.

Maybe it’s that men hit the wall roughly 10 years later than women...but age comes for us all eventually.

I like what Jordan Peterson has to say on the subject. Seek meaning instead of pleasure...but pleasure is a most seductive pursuit, so it’s tough when the disillusionment sets in.
I could ask several questions, but its only bring down one single thing, you consider the "best friend" as unhappy because he don't bother to have a "meaningfull" relationship, you just lack the idea of he is happy and well the way he is, you really can have more then one social group, and yes people come and go from your life, but here is the deal, a guy who have his things never care about others, and there is no wall for a guy, when his sex drive is lower, its even lower his wish to deal with woman
 

samspade

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The man I have been dating has the same perspective as the OP. The player’s life can be lonely, empty & meaningless. But for men who haven’t reached player status it’s romanticized and sought after to such a degree that men who haven’t been there won’t believe you.

They can’t. They don’t realize how other people will use the player for their own aims, they don’t know that pursuit of sexual pleasure for pleasure’s sake deprives you of meaningful connection with another human being, and they are short sighted.

I’ve known many players over the years personally as friends. I married one & I’m seeing one now almost 2 years in.

Today my BF was telling me about his best friend. The best friend is tall, great looking, successful and a good man. He’s in his early 50s and has no issue attracting women. He’s so over endless rotations of plates. He has no companionship, nobody who knows his “story” as Paul Zanka would put it, no wife, no kids, etc. His friends have families and meaningful relationships in their lives and his friends don’t have meaningful time to spend with him because they have more fulfilled lives with their family.

He is disillusioned. A man I know is in the exact same boat. He’s a retired professional athlete, successful, handsome & great looking...mid 50s as well, and also a lifelong bachelor. Exact same feeling about his life. Like he’s missed the boat chasing pleasure and missed out on meaning. It’s sad. That time is gone for good. But 20 years ago neither one of these men would have thought this is how they would feel in their 50s.

My guy is seeing that same writing on the wall. He worries about growing old alone. Even though women flock to him. He has few real friends. My ex husband struggles with it too. Same thing. Loneliness and few friends & waning desire to endlessly chase women.

Maybe it’s that men hit the wall roughly 10 years later than women...but age comes for us all eventually.

I like what Jordan Peterson has to say on the subject. Seek meaning instead of pleasure...but pleasure is a most seductive pursuit, so it’s tough when the disillusionment sets in.
I noticed you used the word "meaning" and its accompanying adjectives six times in this post.

There is nothing inherently meaningful about a marriage or LTR, nor is there anything inherently meaningless about short term flings, casual sex, or serial dating. I've had flings and ONS that meant more to me than some LTRs, at least in different ways. You get what you give - usually.

I think you can derive "meaning" from either, though I think happiness is what we really should be extracting from our choices and pursuits.

And what you're describing about your friend feeling as though he "missed the boat," that's the human condition. The road less traveled. Had he gotten married at 25 and stayed faithful, he'd probably be wondering about all the women he missed out on in the prime of his adulthood. FOMO is what advertisers use to separate us from our money. It's powerful but futile; we have to live with the choices we make.

To quote Rollo, "I’ve never had meaningless sex; I meant to bang every woman I’ve ever banged."

The broader point is that whether they're looking for flings or marriage, putting the cart before the horse is a fool's errand, to mix a couple of cliches. If your friend, and BF's friend, really had such a miserable time slaying chicks all those years, perhaps there was something missing from within, rather than from the women and relationships they were pursuing.
 

daproest1

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Women leave. For any reason at any time. So I’m starting to not see the point of the whole thing. Kind of disheartening.
 

Medina

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@Medina don't you have a gf?
Yeah and a wife

I think people misinterpreted this thread getting pu$$y or validation is not the issue

I'm talking about the fact that people don't actually LIKE you when you reach that level

It's sorta hard to explain but I got way more enemies now than I ever did
 

Glassguy

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When you start putting yourself and your needs first and foremost, you will lose people in your life because your relationship is less beneficial to them. This also includes women who you do not let run over you.

I have a decent amount of close friends in my inner circle that I'm close with. They are real friends who's friendship is all I need from them and vise versa.

I have lost friends, women and even family members who have decided to abort because they couldn't take advantage of me. But they made that decision, not me.

Its lonely at the top. Remember that.
 

jaymbrs

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My best friend who is a good looking dude and attracts a lot of women has a huge social circle. However he gets taken advantage of by so many people. He's been cheated out of some money, cheated on by women, and get's into some bad situations. I always told him you really can't have it both ways, having a ton of friends and not being taken advantage of. One has to filter out the ones who look to get something out of the guy. Being the star QB means people will use you for your popularity. Same applies here. Once you start to not let people take advantage of you, you're no longer liked by many people.
 

zekko

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There is nothing inherently meaningful about a marriage or LTR, nor is there anything inherently meaningless about short term flings, casual sex, or serial dating.
When people say LTRs are more meaningful, I think that just means that you get to know the person more completely, on a deeper level. It's like the difference between a best friend that you've known for years, and a guy you spontaneously go to a baseball game with, because he's got an extra ticket.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I prefer a woman who comes to me for pleasure. There is peace in that. To me that is her giving you her best.

An honest lover tempers my soul without the attempted extraction of it’s substance. Her best part is her sex and the fulfillment of her true feminine identity. There is no game or ulterior motive.
She can just be a woman there.
Yez. Come for the lust and the dyck
 

guru1000

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I prefer a woman who comes to me for pleasure. There is peace in that. To me that is her giving you her best.

An honest lover tempers my soul without the attempted extraction of it’s substance. Her best part is her sex and the fulfillment of her true feminine identity. There is no game or ulterior motive.
She can just be a woman there.
On a visceral level you know this to feel right, as this is the only state not only that she truly desires to give, but you, too, share a complementary desire. All egos fall to the wayside and both parties operate authentically without motive to strip for thyself.

Hence, the greatest gift you can give to another who operates “in-authentically” and with ego is to dismiss.

All feelings of loneliness and unfullfillment arise from failing to operate by the above.
 
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