"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The K-man lept and...

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DavenJuan

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iqqi said:
Alright, well don't blame me for being confused. Here is another thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139181 in which you referred to her as MRS K, not ex-Mrs K, and you were always referring to her as MRS K, until that post exactly two years ago, where you said you moved on.
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Icks,

It seems like youre giving him a really hard time about this...??

We dont have to agree with the choices some of us make, but I would think some of us who have been around for sometime, would support each other.

Titty said it best. Most marriages these days mean absolutely nothing to some people. Id give Karma the benefit of the doubt before Id critize his choices.

If I were recently divorced, i dont know if i personally would be ready for marriage again, but his siutation isnt my situation. his views arent my views.

I applaud him for even sharing this news with us. Its so easy for people to come to this forum, attempt to give advice, but never put THEMSELVES out there in fear of critiscim.

I obviously dont mean that towards you specifically icky, more as a generalization.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Die Hard

Die Hard

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DavenJuan, it seems to me you're being oversensitive.

iqqi said:
Karma, because I am "abrasive" I believe I have been called, I will lay out my 2cents. I think you are moving too fast. Have you even been divorced a year, yet? Are you doing this in part to prove to your ex that you are better off without her? As in, the best revenge is living well. Are you doing this to prove something to yourself? Just some questions to ponder.

I always have a hard time taking someone seriously when they are deciding to make vows that they just broke.

I think divorce is a traumatic experience, and you are acting in a way that is uncharacteristic and not in line with your normal viewpoints
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I think this was a great and constructive comment by Iqqi. I gotta admit Karma's responses to it are a bit unconvincing to me... So what's wrong with Iqqi asking him to clarify himself? You seem to be of the opinion that we should all just be happy for him and apply no critical thought to his decision, but what good would this forum be if we held such an attitude? If a guy decides to pursue a LTR with a BPD witch, would you just tell him you're happy for him? 'Nuff said...

I truly hope Karma's decision will bring him much happiness. But there's nothing wrong with iqqi's initial comment and her subsequent attempts to get clarification from Karma.
 
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DavenJuan

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Die Hard said:
DavenJuan, it seems to me you're being oversensitive.



I think this was a great and constructive comment by Iqqi. I gotta admit Karma's responses to it are a bit unconvincing to me... So what's wrong with Iqqi asking him to clarify himself? You seem to be of the opinion that we should all just be happy for him and apply no critical thought to his decision, but what good would this forum be if we held such an attitude? If a guy decides to pursue a LTR with a BPD witch, would you just tell him you're happy for him? 'Nuff said...

I truly hope Karma's decision will bring him much happiness. But there's nothing wrong with iqqi's initial comment and her subsequent attempts to get clarification from Karma.
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I agree, that comment above is both constructive and ideal. I wasnt referencing that particular comment.

A noob who wants to pursue a LTR with a BPD witch, is a bit different. In that scenerio, I would give my "advice" and he would have to make his own decision, and deal with whatever actions followed. Thats all any of us can do. Provide our opinions and if that advice is taken or not is entirely up to that person. We cannot be responsible, nor control their actions.

In this particular case, Karma has been down this road before. He has seen the fruits of marriage, good and bad. I imagine he has learned something from his previous endeavors. He, I imagine, is fully aware of the risks as well as the rewards that come to follow this decision he has come to make. We provide our opinion on this choice, and move on.

I dont question that Icky has good intentions on what she is asking. I just dont understand why everyone is CONTINUING to drag this decision of his through the mud. I dont believe that if Karma decides to change his mind, it wouldnt be because of something anyone has said on this forum, moreso him making that decision on his own, for his own personal reasoning.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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