"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

The importance of baby steps

BannedGod

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 3, 2006
Messages
293
Reaction score
3
Location
Connecticut
This is an example taken from me... I'm a very shy person, and even saying hi to a random stranger is a very hard thing to do for me (although I'm good with eye contact)

I've read a lot of stuff here (the book of Pook twice, but mainly because I appreciate the philosophy behind it) and on another forum, I've browsed diagonally through the DJ Bible, and yet nothing worked.

I tried twice to convince myself to do the Bootcamp and it never worked, I never seemed to gather the courage to do more than eye contact, I tried to create two bootcamps that were easier to do, and still never gathered the courage

Sad no?

Yes.

Anyways, as you guys must have figured by now, I really do want to change, I'm just too much of a coward. So I decided to start from scratch, from something extremely easy (as easy and stupid as it sounds, at first I was having reserve and thinking twice about doing it because I thought I'd look stupid).

What did I do?

Simply wave to people while I'm driving (I drive a lot so I get many occasions). It sounds extremely stupid, but like I said even at first I had a hard time. But the more I did it, the more I: 1) Not only realized there's nothing wrong with the outcome (who cares if the person thinks your a dumbass, you'll never see that person again) and 2) How attaining goals, as easy and small as they are, can be huge confidence boosters.

Ever since I started that, I managed to go to a second step, say "hi" or start very small conversations with people at work (I work in a building of about 1200 people) Still something easy (since I have the security that people will all be friendly since we work for the same corporation), but it's an even better start than before!

I felt like sharing this with you guys.

Cliffs:

Intense social anxiety
Couldn't get over it
started with a tiny baby step
Succeeded in my goal
Went to a bigger step, currently going pretty well
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Five To One

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
357
Reaction score
3
Captain Harlock said:
a bit of alcohol can loosen you up.
ill keep that in mind if im still nervous about waving to people while i drive
 

Captain Harlock

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
358
Reaction score
3
Location
The Netherlands
Why the hell would you do such a dangerous and irresponsible thing (the waving at people part I mean)?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Top