"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The importance of baby steps

BannedGod

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This is an example taken from me... I'm a very shy person, and even saying hi to a random stranger is a very hard thing to do for me (although I'm good with eye contact)

I've read a lot of stuff here (the book of Pook twice, but mainly because I appreciate the philosophy behind it) and on another forum, I've browsed diagonally through the DJ Bible, and yet nothing worked.

I tried twice to convince myself to do the Bootcamp and it never worked, I never seemed to gather the courage to do more than eye contact, I tried to create two bootcamps that were easier to do, and still never gathered the courage

Sad no?

Yes.

Anyways, as you guys must have figured by now, I really do want to change, I'm just too much of a coward. So I decided to start from scratch, from something extremely easy (as easy and stupid as it sounds, at first I was having reserve and thinking twice about doing it because I thought I'd look stupid).

What did I do?

Simply wave to people while I'm driving (I drive a lot so I get many occasions). It sounds extremely stupid, but like I said even at first I had a hard time. But the more I did it, the more I: 1) Not only realized there's nothing wrong with the outcome (who cares if the person thinks your a dumbass, you'll never see that person again) and 2) How attaining goals, as easy and small as they are, can be huge confidence boosters.

Ever since I started that, I managed to go to a second step, say "hi" or start very small conversations with people at work (I work in a building of about 1200 people) Still something easy (since I have the security that people will all be friendly since we work for the same corporation), but it's an even better start than before!

I felt like sharing this with you guys.

Cliffs:

Intense social anxiety
Couldn't get over it
started with a tiny baby step
Succeeded in my goal
Went to a bigger step, currently going pretty well
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Five To One

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Captain Harlock said:
a bit of alcohol can loosen you up.
ill keep that in mind if im still nervous about waving to people while i drive
 

Captain Harlock

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Why the hell would you do such a dangerous and irresponsible thing (the waving at people part I mean)?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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