Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Bro, with all due respect, you’re overall below a 5. I’ve seen your picture.
Well that's nothing new. I was wondering what the straw was that broke the camel's back.
No, I haven't started going to the gym. I've already mentioned on the forum that (on account of my autism) normal daily life exhausts me too much to go to the gym.
You'd destroy me for reasons other than looks (Without knowing what you look like, I know looks are not my problem. All my other baggage is)
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
A statement like that is not going to be well regarded by men on the SoSuave forum. Outside of the SoSuave forum, if you were to make that statement to men in general, men in general (often blue pill ideology men) would also perceive you negatively for making that statement.
When you say something like this, it gives off the idea that you don't understand nightlife venues at all.
What women say that they want and what women respond to in the sexual marketplace are often 2 different things. Old school PUA Ross Jeffries said this as far back as 1992 in what was a friendlier mating environment than the post-2000 mating environment.
You have a situation where you have baggage on the personality side and your looks don't make up for it.
www.sosuave.net
I'm aware a woman wouldn't take well to the comment about normal daily life exhausting me too much to go to the gym. That's why I'd never say that to a woman. I was only saying it on here because I've grown tired of being repeatedly told to go to the gym.A statement like that is not going to be well regarded by men on the SoSuave forum. Outside of the SoSuave forum, if you were to make that statement to men in general, men in general (often blue pill ideology men) would also perceive you negatively for making that statement.
However, the worst perception you'd get on that statement would be from women. Women would consider you unmasculine for saying something like that.
When you say something like this, it gives off the idea that you don't understand nightlife venues at all.
A nightclub is only one type of nightlife venue.
Nightlife venues are comprised of bars and nightclubs.
The main difference between a bar and a nightclub is the presence of a DJ spinning tunes and a dance floor. It's more challenging to have basic communication in these venues.
The noise volume is louder at nightclubs than most bars.
Bars can range from anything from a craphole dive bar to a ultra luxury lounge. Some bars have moderate noise volumes and meaningful conversations are possible.
What women say that they want and what women respond to in the sexual marketplace are often 2 different things. Old school PUA Ross Jeffries said this as far back as 1992 in what was a friendlier mating environment than the post-2000 mating environment.
If a woman says you are a 6.5 but proceeds to treat you like a 4.5, your real rating is 4.5.
Words from women matter far less than actions from women.
In the sexual marketplace, you are being treated poorly by women, which is less indicative of a 6.5 - 7 on looks and more indicative of a 4-5 on looks. However, today's marketplace is so competitive that even being a 6.5 - 7 on looks is not a strong positioning. 6.5 - 7 looks tier men are just high level normies who don't get treated well unless they are mainly getting dates from a social circle.
You have a situation where you have baggage on the personality side and your looks don't make up for it.
The first post from the thread below indicates a lot of baggage that would be personality side. Some of it touches on money and status too.
my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness
I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread. In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me...
Truthfully, I don't know the exact reason why straight men rate you lower.
Wheat Waffles gave him a 4 on his face/appearance rating. You give him a 4 as well.
www.sosuave.net
This is well said.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
It is not my story to tell, but you can ask him for a picture on your DMs. He will gladly do so. You can then assess and give him a fair analysis on his appearance.Wheat Waffles gave him a 4 on his face/appearance rating. You give him a 4 as well.
If you observe women's actions in the conventional sexual marketplace towards him, it's indicative of a 4-5.5 rating. There are some outlier occurrences sprinkled into his experiences, but he has not been treated well in general by women.
However, I think he's generally a non-factor in his city's mating environment. It doesn't seem like he's going to bars regularly enough to get enough field experience at bars. @nicksaiz65 approaches 30+ women per night on nights he goes out to bars (see thread below). It is doubt that @GoodMan32 does 30 approaches in bars in a year or even a 2 year period.
NightGame Lay Report
I went out to do a solo Nightgame session. My wing/roommate is currently burnt out of the game and wasn't really feeling it. He wants to focus more on himself, his business, etc. Still, there was a 0% chance I was staying in the house on Saturday. I decided to keep doing what I've been doing and...
I don't think @GoodMan32 does a lot of non-bar approaching either.
Between a limited amount of bar approaching and non-bar approaching, I don't think many women interact with him in real life.
If he were to do more field approaching, he would be taking a lot of rejections. Rejections are personal and rejections are indicative of one's standing in the sexual marketplace.
He's not making a big impact with using tech methods either (swipe apps or sending DMs on social platforms). Both those formats are challenging for men in general.
He also tried to crap in his own backyard with a 50 year old woman who lives on the same floor of his building. That's the most ill advised approach that one could do.
I talk with women in my own apartment complex but I maintain a boundary about not messing around with women in my own apartment complex. I need a little bit of distance.
He didn't take a direct rejection with his neighbor but his neighbor knew he was sexually interested in her. She shut it down indirectly.
This is well said.
The quality seducer is a man who focuses on creating positive feelings in women.
A top level physique is the best way to create positive feelings in women. That's somewhere between 10-15% body fat, quality muscle definition, a good hairline, and good facial aesthetics.
Money is another way to stir positive emotion. An older man can use money to seduce younger women (often 10-25 years younger) in conventional mating by providing experiences for her that she can't get with men near her own age.
Personality is a part of the equation too. Having charisma and persuasiveness will help with getting laid. An underrated element of personality is not letting emotionality impact behavior. This has helped @BPH get laid with a few different women, supporting his looks tier.
Initial seduction and even retention are more about spiking women's emotions through looks, money, status, and personality.
"I want to get laid without having to pay for it"
This forum: "@GoodMan32 should shoot his shot with the opposite sex"Wheat Waffles gave him a 4 on his face/appearance rating. You give him a 4 as well.
If you observe women's actions in the conventional sexual marketplace towards him, it's indicative of a 4-5.5 rating. There are some outlier occurrences sprinkled into his experiences, but he has not been treated well in general by women.
However, I think he's generally a non-factor in his city's mating environment. It doesn't seem like he's going to bars regularly enough to get enough field experience at bars. @nicksaiz65 approaches 30+ women per night on nights he goes out to bars (see thread below). It is doubt that @GoodMan32 does 30 approaches in bars in a year or even a 2 year period.
NightGame Lay Report
I went out to do a solo Nightgame session. My wing/roommate is currently burnt out of the game and wasn't really feeling it. He wants to focus more on himself, his business, etc. Still, there was a 0% chance I was staying in the house on Saturday. I decided to keep doing what I've been doing and...
I don't think @GoodMan32 does a lot of non-bar approaching either.
Between a limited amount of bar approaching and non-bar approaching, I don't think many women interact with him in real life.
If he were to do more field approaching, he would be taking a lot of rejections. Rejections are personal and rejections are indicative of one's standing in the sexual marketplace.
He's not making a big impact with using tech methods either (swipe apps or sending DMs on social platforms). Both those formats are challenging for men in general.
He also tried to crap in his own backyard with a 50 year old woman who lives on the same floor of his building. That's the most ill advised approach that one could do.
I talk with women in my own apartment complex but I maintain a boundary about not messing around with women in my own apartment complex. I need a little bit of distance.
He didn't take a direct rejection with his neighbor but his neighbor knew he was sexually interested in her. She shut it down indirectly.
This is well said.
The quality seducer is a man who focuses on creating positive feelings in women.
A top level physique is the best way to create positive feelings in women. That's somewhere between 10-15% body fat, quality muscle definition, a good hairline, and good facial aesthetics.
Money is another way to stir positive emotion. An older man can use money to seduce younger women (often 10-25 years younger) in conventional mating by providing experiences for her that she can't get with men near her own age.
Personality is a part of the equation too. Having charisma and persuasiveness will help with getting laid. An underrated element of personality is not letting emotionality impact behavior. This has helped @BPH get laid with a few different women, supporting his looks tier.
Initial seduction and even retention are more about spiking women's emotions through looks, money, status, and personality.
Tantamount to going onto an MMA forum and regularly declaring: "My ambition is to go pro, but I'm too tired to train", or onto a forum for aspiring actors and saying: "I want to be the next Daniel Day Lewis, but I'm too tired to go out for auditions, much less actually get on stage or in front of the camera to actually practice my craft"
Dropping "subtle hints" is very feminine behavior. Women "drop subtle hints". Men are direct and to the point.
The thread you refer to is linked below.
www.sosuave.net
Hitting on a female while she's at her job is a very low percentage play. Also, once again, subtle hints are feminine. There probably wasn't anything there to begin with, but you bungled that approach even on the small chance that there might have been something there.
www.sosuave.net
Regarding risk level, it's interesting how my risk tolerance is (in some ways) higher than most men (as I have no qualms about having to cross paths with a next door neighbor after a sexual relationship potentially goes sour), yet much lower than most men in other ways.Dropping "subtle hints" is very feminine behavior. Women "drop subtle hints". Men are direct and to the point.
There are good approaches and bad approaches. That was a bad approach on every level.
The approach itself wasn't good and the approach target was completely inappropriate. It's not a good idea to crap in your own backyard with a neighbor. This is true regardless of the housing type (apartment, condo/townhouse, or single family house).
In bigger residential buildings (200+ units), it might be possible to pull off a seduction with someone living in the same building. It's still not a good idea and it will rear its ugly head in a longer term relationship.
These are 2 scenarios in bigger residential buildings where it might work but I still wouldn't recommend it.
With your menopausal 50 year old neighbor, you were just looking to get your penis wet once, and it is clear that you weren't thinking about the long term consequences. Most successful seducers with good 'game' (above average looks and solid charisma) would have avoided a woman on the same floor or in the same garden style building even if she were age appropriate.
- If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
- If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.
The thread you refer to is linked below.
Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?
Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...
Members of this forum say that organized singles events (speed dating and all forms of organized singles mixers) are a waste of time because they are a waste of time. Most men have bad experiences at them. Organized singles events have always been a bad deal for men. Members on this forum say this because a lot of us have been to those events, gotten crapped on by mediocre to subpar females, wasted money, and went home empty handed.
Hitting on a female while she's at her job is a very low percentage play. Also, once again, subtle hints are feminine. There probably wasn't anything there to begin with, but you bungled that approach even on the small chance that there might have been something there.
Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)
The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...
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@BPH is correct. You want to do things your way and want it to work. The way you've been doing things in the conventional mating market isn't working. You need to change. You are resistant to change.
You need to change your physique, mindset, and improve your social skills. This forum has told you repeatedly how to do it.
An ongoing, casual sex relationship with a neighbor isn't very realistic. It's an outlier type situation. Your passion seems to be chasing outliers.
Yes, they do. However, you're not lifting weights with impressive dedication right now. That's the #1 thing you can do to produce the results that take time.
Just go to the fu**ing gym dude, Jesus Christ...
That's a good start. If he could combine that with 2 days a week of some cardiovascular sport and then 2 rest days, then that's the basis for building a better physique. That might not be enough to get him into the top 20% of males, but it's going to create some improvement.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
