The idea that rejection is nothing personal

[Clockwerk50]

No, I haven't started going to the gym. I've already mentioned on the forum that (on account of my autism) normal daily life exhausts me too much to go to the gym.

Between my counselor, as well as simply becoming more comfortable practicing at these organized singles events, I'm becoming better in my own way. A few months ago, I even had a mini-date after an organized singles event (Despite the fact there was no sex, the mere fact I got a post-event mini-date is extremely impressive for a man who hasn't had free sex in 4 years...and a man who slammed 2 doors after the first organized singles event I attended several months ago. At my first organized singles event, I was completely and utterly clueless at how to pursue at these events)

The key is to find solutions that work for me. Going to the gym is just one example of a solution that doesn't work for me. Going to night clubs is another solution that wouldn't work for most autists (a night club is a miserable environment for autists)



You'd destroy me for reasons other than looks (Without knowing what you look like, I know looks are not my problem. All my other baggage is)

Your assessment that I'm below a 5 doesn't generally line up with what the opposite sex has said about my looks.

Here's a serious question: What's your guess of why straight dudes seem to rate me significantly lower on the looks scale than straight gals and gay guys do?

I'd genuinely like to hear (I have my own guess). It's fascinating how a demographic that isn't even looking to get with my gender calls my looks unimpressive, while 2 demographics that are trying to get with my gender typically rate my looks as above-average.

Truthfully, I don't know the exact reason why straight men rate you lower.

However, my theory as to why men of the same demographic might rate you differently is because we tend to take your demeanor into account. Honestly, the issue goes beyond just your face. Many men who struggle in dating overlook subtle but crucial factors such as appearance, physique, social awareness, and how they present themselves. If you're not paying attention to how your clothing, your physique, or even your impulses affect how others see you, then those are the "lacking areas" you need to address.

Let me teach you something: attraction is psychological. People seek what's missing, play, fantasy, excitement, and they are drawn to those who provide it. Truly appealing people aren’t self-absorbed; they focus outward, offering individualized attention and emotional experiences. They understand how to build momentum through each interaction and offer escape from the mundane. Various ideologies tell men to improve in appearance, social circles, employment, assets, and hobbies because it casts a wider net towards the needs women often lack, whether it be purpose, leadership, a fulfilling relationship, adventure, or whatever.

With that said, and like I said, most of us here would outperform you in seduction because we're constantly improving in appearance, lifestyle, skills, and communication. We create value and know how to stir positive emotion. Your posts, in contrast, consistently demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding of others' needs. When someone focuses solely on their own desires or presents themselves without considering the impact on others (like dressing "how they want" regardless of how it's perceived), it shows. Your rationalizations about 2012 being a "good year" because the market was "geared" for you, or a married woman driving 45 minutes, miss the point entirely. Looks decline over time, and these isolated incidents don't negate a consistent pattern of struggle that you keep complaining about. Your posts frankly come across as self-absorbed, narcissistic, argumentative, and centered entirely on your own perceptions, rather than understanding what brings pleasure and value to others. Your appearance, in essence, visually broadcasts these self-focused insecurities and out-of-style mindset, which is why you still get a 4 from me. That's why, in the sexual marketplace, you're at a significant disadvantage.

 

[SW15]

the issue goes beyond just your face.

Your appearance, in essence, visually broadcasts these self-focused insecurities and out-of-style mindset, which is why you still get a 4 from me. That's why, in the sexual marketplace, you're at a significant disadvantage.

Wheat Waffles gave him a 4 on his face/appearance rating. You give him a 4 as well.

If you observe women's actions in the conventional sexual marketplace towards him, it's indicative of a 4-5.5 rating. There are some outlier occurrences sprinkled into his experiences, but he has not been treated well in general by women.

However, I think he's generally a non-factor in his city's mating environment. It doesn't seem like he's going to bars regularly enough to get enough field experience at bars. @nicksaiz65 approaches 30+ women per night on nights he goes out to bars (see thread below). It is doubt that @GoodMan32 does 30 approaches in bars in a year or even a 2 year period.

NightGame Lay Report

I went out to do a solo Nightgame session. My wing/roommate is currently burnt out of the game and wasn't really feeling it. He wants to focus more on himself, his business, etc. Still, there was a 0% chance I was staying in the house on Saturday. I decided to keep doing what I've been doing and...

www.sosuave.net

I don't think @GoodMan32 does a lot of non-bar approaching either.

Between a limited amount of bar approaching and non-bar approaching, I don't think many women interact with him in real life.

If he were to do more field approaching, he would be taking a lot of rejections. Rejections are personal and rejections are indicative of one's standing in the sexual marketplace.

He's not making a big impact with using tech methods either (swipe apps or sending DMs on social platforms). Both those formats are challenging for men in general.

He also tried to crap in his own backyard with a 50 year old woman who lives on the same floor of his building. That's the most ill advised approach that one could do.

I talk with women in my own apartment complex but I maintain a boundary about not messing around with women in my own apartment complex. I need a little bit of distance.

He didn't take a direct rejection with his neighbor but his neighbor knew he was sexually interested in her. She shut it down indirectly.

attraction is psychological. People seek what's missing, play, fantasy, excitement, and they are drawn to those who provide it. Truly appealing people aren’t self-absorbed; they focus outward, offering individualized attention and emotional experiences. They understand how to build momentum through each interaction and offer escape from the mundane. Various ideologies tell men to improve in appearance, social circles, employment, assets, and hobbies because it casts a wider net towards the needs women often lack, whether it be purpose, leadership, a fulfilling relationship, adventure, or whatever.

With that said, and like I said, most of us here would outperform you in seduction because we're constantly improving in appearance, lifestyle, skills, and communication. We create value and know how to stir positive emotion. Your posts, in contrast, consistently demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding of others' needs.

This is well said.

The quality seducer is a man who focuses on creating positive feelings in women.

A top level physique is the best way to create positive feelings in women. That's somewhere between 10-15% body fat, quality muscle definition, a good hairline, and good facial aesthetics.

Money is another way to stir positive emotion. An older man can use money to seduce younger women (often 10-25 years younger) in conventional mating by providing experiences for her that she can't get with men near her own age.

Personality is a part of the equation too. Having charisma and persuasiveness will help with getting laid. An underrated element of personality is not letting emotionality impact behavior. This has helped @BPH get laid with a few different women, supporting his looks tier.

Initial seduction and even retention are more about spiking women's emotions through looks, money, status, and personality.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Wheat Waffles gave him a 4 on his face/appearance rating. You give him a 4 as well.

If you observe women's actions in the conventional sexual marketplace towards him, it's indicative of a 4-5.5 rating. There are some outlier occurrences sprinkled into his experiences, but he has not been treated well in general by women.

However, I think he's generally a non-factor in his city's mating environment. It doesn't seem like he's going to bars regularly enough to get enough field experience at bars. @nicksaiz65 approaches 30+ women per night on nights he goes out to bars (see thread below). It is doubt that @GoodMan32 does 30 approaches in bars in a year or even a 2 year period.

NightGame Lay Report

I went out to do a solo Nightgame session. My wing/roommate is currently burnt out of the game and wasn't really feeling it. He wants to focus more on himself, his business, etc. Still, there was a 0% chance I was staying in the house on Saturday. I decided to keep doing what I've been doing and...

www.sosuave.net

I don't think @GoodMan32 does a lot of non-bar approaching either.

Between a limited amount of bar approaching and non-bar approaching, I don't think many women interact with him in real life.

If he were to do more field approaching, he would be taking a lot of rejections. Rejections are personal and rejections are indicative of one's standing in the sexual marketplace.

He's not making a big impact with using tech methods either (swipe apps or sending DMs on social platforms). Both those formats are challenging for men in general.

He also tried to crap in his own backyard with a 50 year old woman who lives on the same floor of his building. That's the most ill advised approach that one could do.

I talk with women in my own apartment complex but I maintain a boundary about not messing around with women in my own apartment complex. I need a little bit of distance.

He didn't take a direct rejection with his neighbor but his neighbor knew he was sexually interested in her. She shut it down indirectly.



This is well said.

The quality seducer is a man who focuses on creating positive feelings in women.

A top level physique is the best way to create positive feelings in women. That's somewhere between 10-15% body fat, quality muscle definition, a good hairline, and good facial aesthetics.

Money is another way to stir positive emotion. An older man can use money to seduce younger women (often 10-25 years younger) in conventional mating by providing experiences for her that she can't get with men near her own age.

Personality is a part of the equation too. Having charisma and persuasiveness will help with getting laid. An underrated element of personality is not letting emotionality impact behavior. This has helped @BPH get laid with a few different women, supporting his looks tier.

Initial seduction and even retention are more about spiking women's emotions through looks, money, status, and personality.

It is not my story to tell, but you can ask him for a picture on your DMs. He will gladly do so. You can then assess and give him a fair analysis on his appearance.

 

[BPH]

No, I haven't started going to the gym. I've already mentioned on the forum that (on account of my autism) normal daily life exhausts me too much to go to the gym.

The key is to find solutions that work for me. Going to the gym is just one example of a solution that doesn't work for me. Going to night clubs is another solution that wouldn't work for most autists (a night club is a miserable environment for autists)

"I want to get laid without having to pay for it"

"Have you tried getting in better shape and going out at night to meet these women?"

"I don't want to do any of those things"

That is your entire thread in a nutshell. The fact that people are still wasting their time to help you when you refuse to do even the most basic sh** is absolutely mind-boggling to me. You will never improve because you don't want THE solution, you want YOUR solution - which, if it hasn't been obvious enough by the fact that you haven't had sex in more than 4 years without paying for it, isn't fu**ing working...

 

[SW15]

That is your entire thread in a nutshell. The fact that people are still wasting their time to help you when you refuse to do even the most basic sh** is absolutely mind-boggling to me. You will never improve because you don't want THE solution, you want YOUR solution - which, if it hasn't been obvious enough by the fact that you haven't had sex in more than 4 years without paying for it, isn't fu**ing working...

THE solution is more important than YOUR solution.

THE solution is a much better physique from the gym + addressing mindset + address some other personal baggage.

 

[GoodMan32]

Wheat Waffles gave him a 4 on his face/appearance rating. You give him a 4 as well.

If you observe women's actions in the conventional sexual marketplace towards him, it's indicative of a 4-5.5 rating. There are some outlier occurrences sprinkled into his experiences, but he has not been treated well in general by women.

However, I think he's generally a non-factor in his city's mating environment. It doesn't seem like he's going to bars regularly enough to get enough field experience at bars. @nicksaiz65 approaches 30+ women per night on nights he goes out to bars (see thread below). It is doubt that @GoodMan32 does 30 approaches in bars in a year or even a 2 year period.

NightGame Lay Report

I went out to do a solo Nightgame session. My wing/roommate is currently burnt out of the game and wasn't really feeling it. He wants to focus more on himself, his business, etc. Still, there was a 0% chance I was staying in the house on Saturday. I decided to keep doing what I've been doing and...

www.sosuave.net

I don't think @GoodMan32 does a lot of non-bar approaching either.

Between a limited amount of bar approaching and non-bar approaching, I don't think many women interact with him in real life.

If he were to do more field approaching, he would be taking a lot of rejections. Rejections are personal and rejections are indicative of one's standing in the sexual marketplace.

He's not making a big impact with using tech methods either (swipe apps or sending DMs on social platforms). Both those formats are challenging for men in general.

He also tried to crap in his own backyard with a 50 year old woman who lives on the same floor of his building. That's the most ill advised approach that one could do.

I talk with women in my own apartment complex but I maintain a boundary about not messing around with women in my own apartment complex. I need a little bit of distance.

He didn't take a direct rejection with his neighbor but his neighbor knew he was sexually interested in her. She shut it down indirectly.



This is well said.

The quality seducer is a man who focuses on creating positive feelings in women.

A top level physique is the best way to create positive feelings in women. That's somewhere between 10-15% body fat, quality muscle definition, a good hairline, and good facial aesthetics.

Money is another way to stir positive emotion. An older man can use money to seduce younger women (often 10-25 years younger) in conventional mating by providing experiences for her that she can't get with men near her own age.

Personality is a part of the equation too. Having charisma and persuasiveness will help with getting laid. An underrated element of personality is not letting emotionality impact behavior. This has helped @BPH get laid with a few different women, supporting his looks tier.

Initial seduction and even retention are more about spiking women's emotions through looks, money, status, and personality.

This forum: "@GoodMan32 should shoot his shot with the opposite sex"

I drop subtle hints to my neighbor that I'd like to end up in the bedroom with her. This forum: "No, not like that"

I attend many organized singles events. This forum: "No, not like that" (there's the popular thread of yours about how organized singles events are supposedly a waste of time)

I drop subtle hints to a girl who works in my office building's cafe (I have a thread about her). This forum: "No, not like that"

These examples are from the past year alone. As you can see, I shoot my shot plenty (both directly and indirectly). A lot of posters on this forum, however, apparently won't be satisfied until I utilize the bar/night club strategy (And even then, it's worth mentioning I attempted the dine-at-a-bar experiment on a trip within the past year)

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm aware a woman wouldn't take well to the comment about normal daily life exhausting me too much to go to the gym. That's why I'd never say that to a woman. I was only saying it on here because I've grown tired of being repeatedly told to go to the gym.

Tantamount to going onto an MMA forum and regularly declaring: "My ambition is to go pro, but I'm too tired to train", or onto a forum for aspiring actors and saying: "I want to be the next Daniel Day Lewis, but I'm too tired to go out for auditions, much less actually get on stage or in front of the camera to actually practice my craft"

 

[SW15]

I drop subtle hints to my neighbor that I'd like to end up in the bedroom with her. This forum: "No, not like that"

Dropping "subtle hints" is very feminine behavior. Women "drop subtle hints". Men are direct and to the point.

There are good approaches and bad approaches. That was a bad approach on every level.

The approach itself wasn't good and the approach target was completely inappropriate. It's not a good idea to crap in your own backyard with a neighbor. This is true regardless of the housing type (apartment, condo/townhouse, or single family house).

In bigger residential buildings (200+ units), it might be possible to pull off a seduction with someone living in the same building. It's still not a good idea and it will rear its ugly head in a longer term relationship.

These are 2 scenarios in bigger residential buildings where it might work but I still wouldn't recommend it.

• If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
• If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.

With your menopausal 50 year old neighbor, you were just looking to get your penis wet once, and it is clear that you weren't thinking about the long term consequences. Most successful seducers with good 'game' (above average looks and solid charisma) would have avoided a woman on the same floor or in the same garden style building even if she were age appropriate.

I attend many organized singles events. This forum: "No, not like that" (there's the popular thread of yours about how organized singles events are supposedly a waste of time)

The thread you refer to is linked below.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

Members of this forum say that organized singles events (speed dating and all forms of organized singles mixers) are a waste of time because they are a waste of time. Most men have bad experiences at them. Organized singles events have always been a bad deal for men. Members on this forum say this because a lot of us have been to those events, gotten crapped on by mediocre to subpar females, wasted money, and went home empty handed.

I drop subtle hints to a girl who works in my office building's cafe (I have a thread about her). This forum: "No, not like that"

Hitting on a female while she's at her job is a very low percentage play. Also, once again, subtle hints are feminine. There probably wasn't anything there to begin with, but you bungled that approach even on the small chance that there might have been something there.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

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@BPH is correct. You want to do things your way and want it to work. The way you've been doing things in the conventional mating market isn't working. You need to change. You are resistant to change.

You need to change your physique, mindset, and improve your social skills. This forum has told you repeatedly how to do it.

 

[GoodMan32]

Dropping "subtle hints" is very feminine behavior. Women "drop subtle hints". Men are direct and to the point.

There are good approaches and bad approaches. That was a bad approach on every level.

The approach itself wasn't good and the approach target was completely inappropriate. It's not a good idea to crap in your own backyard with a neighbor. This is true regardless of the housing type (apartment, condo/townhouse, or single family house).

In bigger residential buildings (200+ units), it might be possible to pull off a seduction with someone living in the same building. It's still not a good idea and it will rear its ugly head in a longer term relationship.

These are 2 scenarios in bigger residential buildings where it might work but I still wouldn't recommend it.

• If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
• If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.

With your menopausal 50 year old neighbor, you were just looking to get your penis wet once, and it is clear that you weren't thinking about the long term consequences. Most successful seducers with good 'game' (above average looks and solid charisma) would have avoided a woman on the same floor or in the same garden style building even if she were age appropriate.



The thread you refer to is linked below.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

Members of this forum say that organized singles events (speed dating and all forms of organized singles mixers) are a waste of time because they are a waste of time. Most men have bad experiences at them. Organized singles events have always been a bad deal for men. Members on this forum say this because a lot of us have been to those events, gotten crapped on by mediocre to subpar females, wasted money, and went home empty handed.



Hitting on a female while she's at her job is a very low percentage play. Also, once again, subtle hints are feminine. There probably wasn't anything there to begin with, but you bungled that approach even on the small chance that there might have been something there.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@BPH is correct. You want to do things your way and want it to work. The way you've been doing things in the conventional mating market isn't working. You need to change. You are resistant to change.

You need to change your physique, mindset, and improve your social skills. This forum has told you repeatedly how to do it.

Regarding risk level, it's interesting how my risk tolerance is (in some ways) higher than most men (as I have no qualms about having to cross paths with a next door neighbor after a sexual relationship potentially goes sour), yet much lower than most men in other ways.

Ideally, if I was successful at seducing my neighbor to the bedroom, I intended on getting my d1ck wet more than once. I envisioned an ongoing casual sex relationship with her (and the best part is I could litetally get my d1ck wet, as the pregnancy risk at her age, 53, is minimal to nonexistent)

The typical man can hate organized singles events all he wants (And he might even have good reason to. I fully admit organized singles events might be pointless for most men). For me, on the other hand, organized singles events are (if nothing else) making me more comfortable with the opposite sex.

Getting sh1t on by mediocre gals at an organized singles event happens, I fully admit. Then again, I've been sh1t on by mediocre gals in other settings too. It's nothing new to me.

I'm already seeing results (compared to where I was in September 2024). I'm confident the results will become better and better as time goes on. In a nutshell, where I differ from a lot of posters is: I don't want to force/rush the results.

Results take time.

 

[SW15]

Ideally, if I was successful at seducing my neighbor to the bedroom, I intended on getting my d1ck wet more than once. I envisioned an ongoing casual sex relationship with her (and the best part is I could litetally get my d1ck wet, as the pregnancy risk at her age, 53, is minimal to nonexistent)

An ongoing, casual sex relationship with a neighbor isn't very realistic. It's an outlier type situation. Your passion seems to be chasing outliers.

Successful seducers don't waste time chasing outliers. I can't imagine a suave silver fox in the 55-60 year old age range chasing his 53 year old next door neighbor for a possible 1-6 month "Friends with Benefits", casual sex type arrangement.

I've had some nearby neighbors in my apartment complex who were females under 30. I didn't crap where I eat with them. These under 30s I describe were far better looking than a 53 year old.

That 53 year old wasn't interested in sex with younger men in general. It's possible that she would have sex with 10-15% body fat guy with aesthetic muscle definition in his early to mid-20s. That's not you. Additionally, most early to mid 20 guys with good physiques aren't going to have an ongoing casual sex relationship with a 53 year old. It's possible (but unlikely), they'd do a quick pump and dump. That specific 53 year old probably gets zero attention from top tier men in the 18-26 age range.

Results take time.

Yes, they do. However, you're not lifting weights with impressive dedication right now. That's the #1 thing you can do to produce the results that take time.

 

[BPH]

Regarding risk level, it's interesting how my risk tolerance is (in some ways) higher than most men (as I have no qualms about having to cross paths with a next door neighbor after a sexual relationship potentially goes sour), yet much lower than most men in other ways.

Ideally, if I was successful at seducing my neighbor to the bedroom, I intended on getting my d1ck wet more than once. I envisioned an ongoing casual sex relationship with her (and the best part is I could litetally get my d1ck wet, as the pregnancy risk at her age, 53, is minimal to nonexistent)

The typical man can hate organized singles events all he wants (And he might even have good reason to. I fully admit organized singles events might be pointless for most men). For me, on the other hand, organized singles events are (if nothing else) making me more comfortable with the opposite sex.

Getting sh1t on by mediocre gals at an organized singles event happens, I fully admit. Then again, I've been sh1t on by mediocre gals in other settings too. It's nothing new to me.

I'm already seeing results (compared to where I was in September 2024). I'm confident the results will become better and better as time goes on. In a nutshell, where I differ from a lot of posters is: I don't want to force/rush the results.

Results take time.

Just go to the fu**ing gym dude, Jesus Christ...

You don't need to give us all the explanations for why you do things the way you do. Lift some semi-heavy weights for an hour a day, 3 times per week, and see what happens...

 

[SW15]

Lift some semi-heavy weights for an hour a day, 3 times per week, and see what happens...

That's a good start. If he could combine that with 2 days a week of some cardiovascular sport and then 2 rest days, then that's the basis for building a better physique. That might not be enough to get him into the top 20% of males, but it's going to create some improvement.

Looks are #1.

Looks have carried you to the triple digit notch count.