The HB10 "PSYCHO"ologist

[Handcuffs]

(I originally posted this in JoPhil's "The counseling profession and their mindgames" thread, as I thought it was a bit relevant, but I believe it'd be sabotaging his thread's purpose...Sorry man if I did so)


I happen to be 'casually dating' (that's what she calls it...I call it 'hanging out') an HB10 counseling professional. (Psychology)

And WOW..is it one hell of a challenge. If it weren't for such our great chemistry and loads of laughter we share, I'd cut her loose SO FAST, lighting would appear snail-like..............I'm actually on the verge of hitting that 'next' button...I'll explain in a bit.

I posted a thread a few weeks back regarding an issue where I had her IN MY BED, and she wouldn't let me penetrate that arse.: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167428

JoPhil & Jitterbug happened to drop some golden advice regarding that issue. Thank you again gentlemen.
If you read the thread, you'll get the full scoop.

After being intimate, nothing's really changed as far as the vibe and connection, BUT, the power struggle has been INCREDIBLY INSANE. For instance, I call her late Friday night (1:30am) asking her what she was up to. (She happened to call me earlier that evening)

She happened to be @ home, and it so happened I was in the same city where she currently lives. I ask her if I can pay her a visit, and she firsts gives me a hesitant 'no', it's late, I'm just hanging out, a lil' tired, blah blah blah. (I'm thinking to myself, yeah yeah yeah..here you go again trying to play your game, which I always push aside) I keep pushing with humor and ****iness, and after a while, she FINALLY gives in and allows me to come stop by. So long story short, we hang, handle our business, and that was that.

Now, this past Monday night, I call her up in the evening seeing what she's up to. We talk for a bit, and ask her if she'd like to pay me a visit and just hang. She says no, it's beginning to be a lil' too much..it's almost as if we're in a serious relationship, and PLUS...you got your way on Friday.

I respond, "No I didn't, You got your way by me paying you a visit. A serious relationship..Girl, it's called 'hanging out'...this is by far a serious relationship"

She says,"No, YOU GOT YOUR WAY, and I'm not coming over tonight. I've been in more serious relationships than you (She's been in 3..I've only settled down ONCE), and with that said, I have way more experience than you, so I KNOW"

I respond, "You've got it all wrong, it's still 'hanging out' in my eyes...I enjoy your company, and I see NOTHING wrong with me wanting to see you."

She responds, "No, you're the type that ALWAYS gets your way..and may I add, ****Y as ever, and I KNOW you always get your way. You're not getting your way. PLUS, it's getting toooo much. You're pushing me away..."

I respond, "HUH???? Too much????? I hardly ever call you, we talk every so often, and see each other MAXIMUM twice a week.....THAT'S TOO MUCH?? Ok, that's understandable..maybe I should call you once a month and see you twice a year then."

She responds, "I just need my space..it feels like you're pressuring me and pushing me. That's a RED FLAG!!"

I immediately CUT HER OFF and say, "Excuse me?? Did I just hear a RED FLAG??? Throw that RED FLAG up, NOW. DO IT and I'll walk."

Her: **SILENCE**'

Me: "That's what I thought. You're not throwing any red flag. Stop lying to yourself."

Then she speaks, "I just don't want a controlling man..I've had a controlling man in the past and I don't want....

I immediately cut her off with: "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....Controlling?? ME? You must be out of your f***cking mind!!!!"

Before I can say anything else, she says, "Okay, that's enough. I'll talk to you later. CLICK."


(The conversation was a a lot more intense than what I chose to write..too lazy to add adjectives to intensify the feeling)

A lil unexpected, but it didn't phase me, f*ck it, I thought........................I also thought to myself "This HB10 "Psycho"logy professional is on some different level....but it's actually quite fun & the challenge is something I haven't experienced..a bit frustrating, but more intriguing..I kinda like it."



I obviously didn't call her back, and very early this morning (Couple days later), she calls..I don't pick up and leaves me a voice mail stating she wanted to discuss our incident.


I call her 12 hours later (I wanted to wait a whole week before calling, but she's a counseling professional..she's on top of the game..so I shot through the game and dialed her #), and she happened to be on the run so we couldn't talk in depth, but she basically apologized for hanging up on me and I stated I wasn't even angry, but that was extremely disrespectful on her end and it really wasn't that big of a deal. I told her we were going to discuss this manner in person (I feel it's something I need to do to really set the thermometer on this HB), and she agreed with a high pitched voice and a smile..almost as if she was super happy I mentioned the words, "when see we each other."

I try to cut the conversation there, but she went off and started blasting me with small talk questions, which I answered in one word form...which eventually got me off the phone as fast as I intended.

So now, I'll just lay off all contact and wait for her next move & leave it @ that. I actually don't want to see her anytime soon. I just told her that we had to discuss the issue in person because I want to look into her eyes and read every bit of bullsh*t/sincerity she'll throw @ me.

Due to our great chemistry (When the power struggles aren't involved), I'm going to ride this one out and have fun with it. But, I've got the 'next' button all nice & pretty ready to be pushed whenever.

Lesson learned for me though...if you want one hell of a challenge, try an HB counseling professional. WARNING: You will be in for a CRAZY, CRAZY ride.

Okay, that's all.

Also, any feedback/tips regarding my situation would be pretty awesome!!

Thanks fellas!!

PS
May I add my conversation I wrote with her was not verbatim. There were many things I missed out...but I tried my best to cut through a 30 minute 'debate'. I can read this woman up & down, and I know she throws all sorts of curve balls to get me to react a certain manner, aka mind games, but I just choose to push forth and with each inch she gives, I take as much as I can. She senses that, so she puts all sorts of spike strips to slow down my momentum. Any advice on this would be fantastic. THANKS!!

 

[katatonia]

I can't be fvcked giving a big reply so I'll just go over what you said and highlight where you went wrong.

She happened to be @ home, and it so happened I was in the same city where she currently lives. I ask her if I can pay her a visit, and she firsts gives me a hesitant 'no', it's late, I'm just hanging out, a lil' tired, blah blah blah. (I'm thinking to myself, yeah yeah yeah..here you go again trying to play your game, which I always push aside) I keep pushing with humor and ****iness, and after a while, she FINALLY gives in and allows me to come stop by. So long story short, we hang, handle our business, and that was that.

Too needy/desperate.

Now, this past Monday night, I call her up in the evening seeing what she's up to. We talk for a bit, and ask her if she'd like to pay me a visit and just hang. She says no, it's beginning to be a lil' too much..it's almost as if we're in a serious relationship, and PLUS...you got your way on Friday.

She gave you a hint here. You are acting too clingy, spend some time AWAY from her for a while.

I respond, "No I didn't, You got your way by me paying you a visit. A serious relationship..Girl, it's called 'hanging out'...this is by far a serious relationship"

Fail. You shouldn't have replied at all.

She says,"No, YOU GOT YOUR WAY, and I'm not coming over tonight. I've been in more serious relationships than you (She's been in 3..I've only settled down ONCE), and with that said, I have way more experience than you, so I KNOW"

I respond, "You've got it all wrong, it's still 'hanging out' in my eyes...I enjoy your company, and I see NOTHING wrong with me wanting to see you."

She responds, "No, you're the type that ALWAYS gets your way..and may I add, ****Y as ever, and I KNOW you always get your way. You're not getting your way. PLUS, it's getting toooo much. You're pushing me away..."

I respond, "HUH???? Too much????? I hardly ever call you, we talk every so often, and see each other MAXIMUM twice a week.....THAT'S TOO MUCH?? Ok, that's understandable..maybe I should call you once a month and see you twice a year then."

She responds, "I just need my space..it feels like you're pressuring me and pushing me. That's a RED FLAG!!"

I immediately CUT HER OFF and say, "Excuse me?? Did I just hear a RED FLAG??? Throw that RED FLAG up, NOW. DO IT and I'll walk."

Her: **SILENCE**'

Me: "That's what I thought. You're not throwing any red flag. Stop lying to yourself."

Then she speaks, "I just don't want a controlling man..I've had a controlling man in the past and I don't want....

I immediately cut her off with: "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....Controlling?? ME? You must be out of your f***cking mind!!!!"

Before I can say anything else, she says, "Okay, that's enough. I'll talk to you later. CLICK."

BIG fvck up here. You shouldn't have messaged her in the first place and you got caught in a petty argument with her, getting riled up over a little issue. THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO. Plus some the things you said were just silly.

I obviously didn't call her back

THANK FVCK.

and very early this morning (Couple days later), she calls..I don't pick up and leaves me a voice mail stating she wanted to discuss our incident.

See? Let HER to be the one to contact YOU.

I call her 12 hours later (I wanted to wait a whole week before calling, but she's a counseling professional..she's on top of the game..so I shot through the game and dialed her #)

Admit it, you didn't wait a whole week because you are desperate and have one-itis. Who gives a fvck what profession she is in? All women are the same and should be gamed accordingly.

and she happened to be on the run so we couldn't talk in depth, but she basically apologized for hanging up on me and I stated I wasn't even angry, but that was extremely disrespectful on her end and it really wasn't that big of a deal. I told her we were going to discuss this manner in person (I feel it's something I need to do to really set the thermometer on this HB), and she agreed with a high pitched voice and a smile..almost as if she was super happy I mentioned the words, "when see we each other."

JUST LET THE FVCKING ARGUMENT GO. You're worse than a girl.

I try to cut the conversation there, but she went off and started blasting me with small talk questions, which I answered in one word form...which eventually got me off the phone as fast as I intended.

This is your cue to hang up on the b1tch.

So now, I'll just lay off all contact and wait for her next move & leave it @ that. I actually don't want to see her anytime soon. I just told her that we had to discuss the issue in person because I want to look into her eyes and read every bit of bullsh*t/sincerity she'll throw @ me.

Again, LET IT GO. Who gives a fvck really? Your main priority should be having sex and having fun with this woman.

Due to our great chemistry (When the power struggles aren't involved), I'm going to ride this one out and have fun with it. But, I've got the 'next' button all nice & pretty ready to be pushed whenever.

Don't expect the tests to stop unless perhaps you become the epitome of alpha in her mind. You are a long way off.

Lesson learned for me though...if you want one hell of a challenge, try an HB counseling professional. WARNING: You will be in for a CRAZY, CRAZY ride.

What, so every girl that gets into counseling is crazy and a challenge? Nice generalization bro. By the way from what you said she doesn't seem hard to game at all, your game just sucked/sucks. PROTIP: THEY'RE ALL NUTS ANYWAY.

 

[Handcuffs]

I can't be fvcked giving a big reply so I'll just go over what you said and highlight where you went wrong.



Too needy/desperate.



She gave you a hint here. You are acting too clingy, spend some time AWAY from her for a while.



Fail. You shouldn't have replied at all.



BIG fvck up here. You shouldn't have messaged her in the first place and you got caught in a petty argument with her, getting riled up over a little issue. THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO. Plus some the things you said were just silly.




THANK FVCK.



See? Let HER to be the one to contact YOU.




Admit it, you didn't wait a whole week because you are desperate and have one-itis. Who gives a fvck what profession she is in? All women are the same and should be gamed accordingly.



JUST LET THE FVCKING ARGUMENT GO. You're worse than a girl.



This is your cue to hang up on the b1tch.



Again, LET IT GO. Who gives a fvck really? Your main priority should be having sex and having fun with this woman.



Don't expect the tests to stop unless perhaps you become the epitome of alpha in her mind. You are a long way off.



What, so every girl that gets into counseling is crazy and a challenge? Nice generalization bro. By the way from what you said she doesn't seem hard to game at all, your game just sucked/sucks. PROTIP: THEY'RE ALL NUTS ANYWAY.

1.) Too needy/desperate, at least in my eyes, is a dude begging, saying please, kissing ass, and everything else in between. The way I handle it is just plowing through walls not caring about the repercussions. I MAKE IT CLEAR, it doesn't matter what the outcome is, I'm just doing it for kicks basically, which she understands...and with my method right there, I have a 90% rate of getting what I want in not just women, but in life, period.


2.) Yeah, after that night, I'm basically nowhere to be found for awhile now..sometimes I'm just real spontaneous and if I want to do it, I do it..not caring about the repercussions. But, I feel like I should ease off, period.

3.) Hahaha. Why? I like to throw shots back. I'm a free spirit man...I don't care in the end, she's just another girl...I just want to attain knowledge...thus, I try to make mistakes.

4.) Messaged? This was a conversation. I don't know how it led to it, but it did. I wanted to push her buttons to be quite frank, and that's what happened. We've been getting along so well, and not once have I angered her. I did with that conversation. I'm happy about it.

5.) Thank fvck indeed. lol

6.) Ummmm...I'm not a pro, but damn sure aint no chump. Who would call back after a click??

7.) No. I'm not desperate nor do I have one-itis. She reads me quite well, vice versa. She'll unleash an arsenal of INSANE mind games if I choose that route. Believe me, I know her well enough to know that these 'games' will go on & on & on if I choose to play them. I refuse.

8.) The argument's been let go. But I'd love for her to tell me in person about that space issue. My sonars will be in full effect when it happens..I'll be ready to take appropriate action once I see the look in her eyes.

9.) Like I said, I'll let it go after I get a better read in person. It'll be handled in a playful manner. This is nothing serious after all.

10.) She's already mentioned I'm dominant. She likes power. She's trying to even the scales.

11.) HAHAHAAA! Yeah, they are all nuts...that's for sure man. But these women in the field of human behavior are on a different echelon.

 

[jonwon]

Katatonia, pritty much covered it. But one thing I have to give you props for getting your way on the friday, maybe too clingy and needy if it was your GF, but from reading I'm unsure if she is a FB or a GF at this stage, though one would imagine she is a GF or has potential to be in your eyes from the way you post.

This is what I wanted to comment on:

"She says,"No, YOU GOT YOUR WAY, and I'm not coming over tonight. I've been in more serious relationships than you (She's been in 3..I've only settled down ONCE), and with that said, I have way more experience than you, so I KNOW"

I respond, "You've got it all wrong, it's still 'hanging out' in my eyes...I enjoy your company, and I see NOTHING wrong with me wanting to see you."


"She responds, "No, you're the type that ALWAYS gets your way..and may I add, ****Y as ever, and I KNOW you always get your way. You're not getting your way. PLUS, it's getting toooo much. You're pushing me away..."

I respond, "HUH???? Too much????? I hardly ever call you, we talk every so often, and see each other MAXIMUM twice a week.....THAT'S TOO MUCH?? Ok, that's understandable..maybe I should call you once a month and see you twice a year then."

She responds, "I just need my space..it feels like you're pressuring me and pushing me. That's a RED FLAG!!"

I immediately CUT HER OFF and say, "Excuse me?? Did I just hear a RED FLAG??? Throw that RED FLAG up, NOW. DO IT and I'll walk."

Her: **SILENCE**'

Me: "That's what I thought. You're not throwing any red flag. Stop lying to yourself."

Then she speaks, "I just don't want a controlling man..I've had a controlling man in the past and I don't want....

I immediately cut her off with: "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....Controlling?? ME? You must be out of your f***cking mind!!!!"

Before I can say anything else, she says, "Okay, that's enough. I'll talk to you later. CLICK."


The thing I have with this, is that this chick is doing what you should be doing - in this situation your the girl and she is the guy, playing you! Now I am uncertain at this stage if she is genuine and its from a lack of interest on her part, or she is trying to game you, much like I do when dating a girl.

This girl is doing text book game stuff and I applaud her for that fact, but I have a feeling she is not doing it intentionally. But whilst she is doing this, your playing into her frame and arguing your case.

I am unsure why your arguing your case and allowing this to rile you up so, to me if you was a girl and I was doing this, I would be ramping this up, because I know after all that, you will be putty. It is clear this girl has the most power in the relationship, her actions if anything are sucking you in more.

Simply; her attitude has got you second guessing why she is not falling all over you and your ego is taking a bit of a bruising, this is why you argue your point and go back for more, we have all done it and still do it depending on the girls value.

But in all honesty a guy should be the one who is doing what your GF is doing to you.

You should be acting aloof, hard to tie down, scared of commitment because it's going to take you away from your amazing single life. Instead your leaving yourself wide open for her to shift the dynamic of the relationship and your playing into her hands.

But can there be any other outcome?

Is she gaming you, or is it due to a lack of interest on her part?

Regardless, I believe you should have settled for the Fuc* Buddy stage of the relationship and treated her like the fuc* buddy she clearly is trying to communicate to you she is.

I have had FB's in the past who have tried to spin this stuff, for me to simply turn around and say "Hey it's just sex, dont get carried away" - Instead what your doing is tossing notions of romance and dating and relationships into the mix, with the nonesense about wanting to 'see her, just to see her' and all that cra*.

Seriously lean more towards meeting her for casual sex and hook up's and lay of the relationship type shi* with this girl, if anything she should be the one trying to hook you into something more, instead your the one pushing for extra's. This encounter is ars* over ti*, the girls response should be yours and your response should be hers.

I'd feel obliged to take your original dialogue and put you where she is and her where you are. You can do it yourself and see where I am coming from.

Ideally she is playing you, but i doubt it, it's probably more to do with interest level. This sounds to me a FB and your trying to coax more out of it, instead of enjoying the ride.

At least lean off the pressure. The best way to enjoy a girl like this is to get another 1 or two to service you, then you wont have any notions of "I just want to spend time with you" and all that cra*.

The girl should be fighting tooth and nail to get you to commit, not the other way around.

Best solution: Date a few more girls, she is practically giving you free ticket to do just that, that way, when you wont slide into arguing your point when she tosses some stuff about 'your getting too serious' -

 

[Colossus]

Handcuffs-

I read this thread and your previous thread about this girl. I admire your desire to learn the game and your enthusiasm. It sounds like you are making progress. I'm going to offer you some concise advice; you may take it or leave it:

This girl is running the show. That is clearly obvious from your detailed transcriptions. You've made a few good plays, but from an impartial observer's viewpoint I see she is playing this like a flute.

Other guys can vouch for this, but these psychology types are often some of the most WHACKED out girls you will meet. Like you have figured out, they are master manipulators. They know how to read you, how to synthesize conclusions from things you say, how to trap you in your own words, and they can convince you it's all your fault. In other word they do everything a normal woman would do, only much better. I'm telling you man, why do you think they got into counseling?? They live vicariously through dysfunction and drama! AND you claim she is smoking hot to boot?!? Brosef, if I were you I'd cut my losses and start playing other girls. The drama with this chick is not over by a long shot, but at least you'll have something in the wings.

The best thing you can do (although I don't think you can) is to stop caring. This will manifest in all your actions and will drive her nuts. You might say that you dont, but it's clear you are very concerned with influencing her reactions towards you. Whenever I talk to a guy who is micromanaging every little interaction and game issue with a particular girl, I know he is LOSING. Think about that.

 

[Solomon]

Handcuffs

I'm in a similar situation mate so I'm not giving you some KBJ crap, one of my current plate is a marriage thereapist. and she is a hot mess, whats helped me is Indifference and Being congruent with my frame. Honestly mate, latley I've been slipping with her myself, I banged her last week, and she said she loved me, mind you we've only been hanging out/fuccing for a month or so.

The thing is HC chicks like her are what I like to call "Dark-Seducers", they understand the basics of human psychology and interaction(hence they understand game!). The chick I've been banging has been virtually been so close to being nexted(time after time) and she knows it, that's one of the reasons why she enjoys being with me; I have the balls to walk away, and she knows her pusssy doens't mean shiit to me. However it's nothing serious and both of us know that it's a ****buddy situation, so it will run its course sooner then later.

Jonwon/Colossus and the others gave you some golden advice, now I'm gonna give you the best advice That Mr. Tomassi ever gave the board and that is to "spin some plates" also just because she is a "10" doesn't mean shiit. Start qualfying chicks on their personality and their compliance. Once you can do that you won't put a girl on the pedestal and sub-conciously let her get away with shiit. I use to do "simp" shyt like that as well when dealing with hotter women, putting them on pedestal and letting them control the frame.

You got all the advice you need mate'

Good luck!

 

[Warrior74]

What you didn't learn from Jophils post in my opinion was how to win through action not argument. Did you perform an action or did you have an argument? It's obvious which one you had. Next time you talk to her, cut everything you say down by half, or even half of that. Stop talking so much, words are a woman's playground, don't give her the ammo to play with. Therapists need words to operate, take away her means of operation.

 

[ZenGodMod]

I have wondered if the op is up for this challenge. His not.

There is nothing to gain in having arguements. Win or lose, arguing is a down hill path to burning any relationship.

Stand by your principles but don't argue over ideals and claim for principality.

More action less arguements friend. Else she will bully you psycho-logicaly.

 

[jophil28]

More action less arguements friend. Else she will bully you psycho-logicaly.

Good advice. Trying to 'win' verbal stouches with mental health women is a losing bet. This is their world - the world of drama and dysfunction. And using words to shape and manipulate others is their specialty.

Would you enter into a serious debate with a lawyer about points of law and expect to win?

Read Collossus post a few time. He speaks.
These women are master manipulators. Their entire professional existence comprises manipulation of the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of INFERIORS.. and they act similarly in their intimate relationships.

Make no mistake- at several levels she believes that it is her job, and her right, to control you and manage you. Hence the endless powers struggles when you try to assert yourself.

YOu can stay and play this game endlessly with NO resolution, or bail now and seek better quality female company..your choice.

 

[Handcuffs]

Thank you gentlemen, yet once again. I applaud your intelligence and willingness to help another dude in this f*cked up matrix we live in.

Your advice are pounds of gold, like always, and I'm actually in deep thought as I type this.

As I think aloud, it's clear to me that this is going to be a battle of the wits until the end of time. She's an extremely sharp woman, with a keen intuition. The tougher part is she's a hands down HB10. I don't say that to exaggerate or brag or anything of that nature...she's a headturner and ALWAYS gets compliments, even from random ladies, EVERYWHERE I go with her. That makes the challenge even more intense. I felt pretty accomplished getting in those panties, as it took an enormous amount of wit and maneuvering to do so. It's nothing I've ever been through, and it's quite a learning experience.

My physical attraction to her is obviously a strong point in sticking around, but by far the primary quality that's keeping me 'in the game'. The quality I seek and admire most is chemistry. I guess you can label me as a total sucker for undeniable chemistry. So be it, I can't change how 'MY SOUL' feels. I've dated, hooked up with a decent amount of women throughout my life, and if there's one thing I can take away from those encounters, is that, chemistry is really that big of a deal.

People, to me, are lil' bursts of different energy. Some repelling, some neutral, others attracting. That's a given. The burst of energy that's extremely difficult to cross paths with is the energy that gives off a certain radiance and vibe that's almost peculiar, but beautiful, because it's a feeling of 'oneness'.

I don't know if I'm taking this too deep, but that's what chemistry is to me, and whether it be luck, destiny, fate, etc. I happen to have it with this lady, and the feeling is absolutely mutual between her & I as sparks fly when we're together. The energy between us is a rather refreshing experience, and I'm enjoying it.

I guess that's what makes it that much difficult to just hit the next button, and be on my way. That's a tough sticking point to jump away from if you ask me. BUT, I'll, without hesitation, jump ship and walk away slapping my hands together and set adrift onto the next one with a smile if this gets a lil' too fuzzy for my greater being.

I understand what I'm getting into, and with your guys' phenomenal advice, it sets a much clearer path for me to travel. My artillery is now heavier because of you DonJuans, and I couldn't be any more thankful.

Today, as I conclude this, my heart tells me to literally take a step away from her & I...and maybe another step tomorrow, and another one after that. Slowly, I'll pull back...and see where that takes me. I want to switch up MY pace of being a free spirit and laying it all out there with no care for the repercussions, with more of the restrained and 'indifferent' pace that enabled me to get intimate with her. Let's see how that strat' goes.

Why the F' not, huh, I'm going to have fun with this........I'm not scared of losing her, as I've lost one of my most incremental parts in my life already (My younger brother passed away @ the age of 26 this past April in his sleep due to an undetectable heart disease), and I completely and fully understand that life's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too short to focus so much time & energy into one woman, two women, even three, four women.

To me, life isn't all about women, but it's always nice to get laid, and ESPECIALLY nice to find that right fit where both you and her complement each others lives in a ball of positivity and fun and joy and laughter and hot sex.

Only time will tell.

Thank you again kind sirs!

 

[jonwon]

Thank you gentlemen, yet once again. I applaud your intelligence and willingness to help another dude in this f*cked up matrix we live in.

Your advice are pounds of gold, like always, and I'm actually in deep thought as I type this.

As I think aloud, it's clear to me that this is going to be a battle of the wits until the end of time. She's an extremely sharp woman, with a keen intuition. The tougher part is she's a hands down HB10. I don't say that to exaggerate or brag or anything of that nature...she's a headturner and ALWAYS gets compliments, even from random ladies, EVERYWHERE I go with her. That makes the challenge even more intense. I felt pretty accomplished getting in those panties, as it took an enormous amount of wit and maneuvering to do so. It's nothing I've ever been through, and it's quite a learning experience.

My physical attraction to her is obviously a strong point in sticking around, but by far the primary quality that's keeping me 'in the game'. The quality I seek and admire most is chemistry. I guess you can label me as a total sucker for undeniable chemistry. So be it, I can't change how 'MY SOUL' feels. I've dated, hooked up with a decent amount of women throughout my life, and if there's one thing I can take away from those encounters, is that, chemistry is really that big of a deal.

People, to me, are lil' bursts of different energy. Some repelling, some neutral, others attracting. That's a given. The burst of energy that's extremely difficult to cross paths with is the energy that gives off a certain radiance and vibe that's almost peculiar, but beautiful, because it's a feeling of 'oneness'.

I don't know if I'm taking this too deep, but that's what chemistry is to me, and whether it be luck, destiny, fate, etc. I happen to have it with this lady, and the feeling is absolutely mutual between her & I as sparks fly when we're together. The energy between us is a rather refreshing experience, and I'm enjoying it.

I guess that's what makes it that much difficult to just hit the next button, and be on my way. That's a tough sticking point to jump away from if you ask me. BUT, I'll, without hesitation, jump ship and walk away slapping my hands together and set adrift onto the next one with a smile if this gets a lil' too fuzzy for my greater being.

I understand what I'm getting into, and with your guys' phenomenal advice, it sets a much clearer path for me to travel. My artillery is now heavier because of you DonJuans, and I couldn't be any more thankful.

Today, as I conclude this, my heart tells me to literally take a step away from her & I...and maybe another step tomorrow, and another one after that. Slowly, I'll pull back...and see where that takes me. I want to switch up MY pace of being a free spirit and laying it all out there with no care for the repercussions, with more of the restrained and 'indifferent' pace that enabled me to get intimate with her. Let's see how that strat' goes.

Why the F' not, huh, I'm going to have fun with this........I'm not scared of losing her, as I've lost one of my most incremental parts in my life already (My younger brother passed away @ the age of 26 this past April in his sleep due to an undetectable heart disease), and I completely and fully understand that life's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too short to focus so much time & energy into one woman, two women, even three, four women.

To me, life isn't all about women, but it's always nice to get laid, and ESPECIALLY nice to find that right fit where both you and her complement each others lives in a ball of positivity and fun and joy and laughter and hot sex.

Only time will tell.

Thank you again kind sirs!

You dont need to take a step back, what you need to do is fuc* more girls.

Trust me on that, the rest will come anyway. If you get a few more girls on the go, you will bomb through her cute little tests, like it was nothing, you probably won't even notice them.

It really is the best advice for this situation, she is giving clear signs your motives are getting too close for comfort for her, back off, date more girls, keep her in the plate spinning rotation.

Your also slipping into oneitus with this chick, she aint special, dont delude yourself.

 

[zekko]

I just wanted to say that you said you were arguing with her that you only see her twice a week, therefore it isn't serious. I have to disagree with that. If you're seeing her twice a week, you're practically going steady. So she may be justified in saying she's feeling pressured.

You dont need to take a step back, what you need to do is fuc* more girls.

I agree with this. Spin more plates.

 

[cordoncordon]

Actually, this is an easy one. She's pissed off that you only call and want to see her late at night, IE a booty call. I dont blame her for being upset, I would be too if I was a chick and thats the only time the guy ever wanted to see me. I'm sure when you do call her you have probably been drinking, and she can hear the desperation in your voice in trying to "convince" her for you to come over. It probably leads into her feeling as if you are trying to control her by only coming over when you see fit, IE late at night.

If you like this girl and want more with her, try taking her out and treating her with a little respect instead of a common slvt.

 

[zekko]

She's pissed off that you only call and want to see her late at night, IE a booty call.

It could be simpler than that. If the OP is only calling her and wanting to come over late at night, it may be an imposition on her. She probably has to work in the morning and may prefer to relax late in the evening. She's probably just getting wound down and here comes Mr. DJ wanting to get all up in her face. It probably is annoying.

 

[Handcuffs]

jonwon: The problem with me is I HATE just f*cking any random slvt available. The satisfaction levels aren't there compared to a girl that has me 'mentally' turned on.

Zekko: Seeing a girl MAXIMUM twice a week is going steady???????? Wow. That's a new one to me.

 

[Handcuffs]

Actually, this is an easy one. She's pissed off that you only call and want to see her late at night, IE a booty call. I dont blame her for being upset, I would be too if I was a chick and thats the only time the guy ever wanted to see me. I'm sure when you do call her you have probably been drinking, and she can hear the desperation in your voice in trying to "convince" her for you to come over. It probably leads into her feeling as if you are trying to control her by only coming over when you see fit, IE late at night.

If you like this girl and want more with her, try taking her out and treating her with a little respect instead of a common slvt.

You, my friend, have basically written everything I thought & felt when she first initially hung up on me. Hahah..wow. Obviously I see eye to eye with you as this ran across my head over & over......amazing how you were able to pinpoint my thoughts and feelings to a T.

Talk about hitting the nail on the head....this could very well be it.

Thanks man!

EDIT**No alcohol involved though, lol.

 

[Handcuffs]

**UPDATE**

She just contacted me again (I haven't made the effort to call/text after she called to apologize), and like I previously stated, I was going to throw an attitude of indifference and throw a no-care vibe towards her as Colossus advised.

I did just that, and she felt the 'indifference' like an arctic breeze coming full force with no jacket on.

She stated that the vibe and energy isn't the same and she wasn't 'feeling' right.......I basically brushed it off with a bit of a chuckle and asked how she was.

She didn't answer the question and instead, asked what my schedule was looking like as she wanted to 'discuss' what had happened that night I previously wrote about.

I told her all has been said & done when she first contacted me and there was nothing to worry about. She still was a little thrown off by that..so I switched the topic to what I was up to as far as my everyday duties, etc. blah blah.

I kept the conversation short & sweet, making her giggle a few times, and ended the conversation without asking her or setting up a date. Before we parted ways though, she stated that she 'feels better that the awkwardness is gone' and that I have a great remainder of the day.

I don't know how I feel about that to be honest. At first, she caught the indifference like a slap to the face and was VERY confused and dazed, as I'm able to read her quite well....throughout the 7-10 minutes of conversation, I happened to make her laugh a couple times, and all of a sudden she 'feels better that the awkwardness is gone'???

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?? Lol.

Damn....she was going haywire @ first...and all of a sudden, after throwing out a couple statements that made her laugh, she 'feels' like everything's back to normal....meaning to me, that she's 'in control' again.

I may be putting too much thought into this..but I also want to act accordingly. I haven't setup a date just yet, but when that time comes, I want to communicate that I'm in control of the situation.

With that said, I've got a couple questions:

A.) When we do hang out, would I be ruining my frame if I chose to get physical with her (holding hands, kissing, etc.)??

B.) When acting 'indifferent', does keeping an upbeat attitude and a flying with a great sense of humor ruin that 'indifference'??

C.) Would it be detrimental for myself if I just acted like nothing ever happened and go about my normal ways in creating a great time with one another??

D.) Would a no-physical date be the best route?? That's what my natural instinct is telling me. Go out, have a good time, BUT DO NOT even make a move for a kiss...not even a hello/farewell kiss...


Any suggestions/advise would help me out quite a bit. Thanks.


Also, I wanted to ask you gentlemen.

Is it proper and gentleman like to ask a woman you're casually dating if she's dating other men????

Or is that a complete NO-NO in the book??

Thanks!

 

[katatonia]

A.) When we do hang out, would I be ruining my frame if I chose to get physical with her (holding hands, kissing, etc.)??

No, but make sure if she does not accept your advances you go cold and withdraw attention. If you keep persisting with kino after she has pushed you away, then you are ruining your frame.

B.) When acting 'indifferent', does keeping an upbeat attitude and a flying with a great sense of humor ruin that 'indifference'??

No, that is the attitude you should have - nothing she does affects you.

C.) Would it be detrimental for myself if I just acted like nothing ever happened and go about my normal ways in creating a great time with one another??

No, that's what you should be doing.

D.) Would a no-physical date be the best route?? That's what my natural instinct is telling me. Go out, have a good time, BUT DO NOT even make a move for a kiss...not even a hello/farewell kiss...

Don't really think this will help. You're still giving her your time and attention for no reward, since I'm assuming you want kisses and such.

Is it proper and gentleman like to ask a woman you're casually dating if she's dating other men????

I wouldn't ask, she may interpret it as insecurity. It shouldn't bother you anyway, as you should be fvcking other girls yourself.

 

[Handcuffs]

Thanks Katatonia for the advice.

All in all, I think I've already put too much thought into this little 'altercation'.

What I've got going with this HB is 'naturally' cool, and the more thought I put into it, the less fun I'm going to have with it, thus, ruining my natural state of just letting go and living life.


I've just got to go about being natural and just 'hold that frame', as Jitterbug first advised in my first thread.

It really is that simple. Live life, smile, nudge off all the pettiness that tends to hold us down, and just do it.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

The title should be "Power Struggle"

Handcuffs-

This girl is running the show. That is clearly obvious from your detailed transcriptions. You've made a few good plays, but from an impartial observer's viewpoint I see she is playing this like a flute.

Other guys can vouch for this, but these psychology types are often some of the most WHACKED out girls you will meet. Like you have figured out, they are master manipulators. They know how to read you, how to synthesize conclusions from things you say, how to trap you in your own words, and they can convince you it's all your fault. In other word they do everything a normal woman would do, only much better. I'm telling you man, why do you think they got into counseling?? They live vicariously through dysfunction and drama! AND you claim she is smoking hot to boot?!? Brosef, if I were you I'd cut my losses and start playing other girls. The drama with this chick is not over by a long shot, but at least you'll have something in the wings.

The best thing you can do (although I don't think you can) is to stop caring. This will manifest in all your actions and will drive her nuts. You might say that you dont, but it's clear you are very concerned with influencing her reactions towards you. Whenever I talk to a guy who is micromanaging every little interaction and game issue with a particular girl, I know he is LOSING. Think about that.

This is really interesting. I´ve had a lot of problems with a very controlling woman, who wants me to submit to her. It´s a paradox because the guys she controls, she will never really respect. The ones she can´t control are the ones she will never have.