I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Can I get the 3" extension and tennis ball sized head?PlasticSurgeon said:Letter of acceptance to New York University
Letter of acceptance to Medical School
Score reports of my United States Medical Licensing Examinations.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
PlasticSurgeon said:Letter of acceptance to New York University
Letter of acceptance to Medical School
Score reports of my United States Medical Licensing Examinations.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
dude, that's awesome. I've had a similar scenario. I got fired back in early '06 (at-will state) on a technicality (real issue is I got mixed up with a co-worker - sex with one, fight with another). I was a target! and they found a way to fire my azz - small company - What can you do??? Right now they're going under HAHA! The joke's on them! Their firing me was the Best thing that ever happened to me. After being fired, I drove 300 miles to a place I'd never been before made some contacts, got some names and phone numbers, and numerous opportunities started developing for me. My Faith in humanity restored and People Care, YOU just have to Take Action and GO! Decide to Do something about it, no time for crying! Anyhow, I got a job there with a Great company doing what I know how to do. I couldn't afford living there and they wouldn't transfer me so I Had to quit. Back 300 miles from where I come from a friend decided to take me into live with him - a total selfless brother. Before that though, I slept in my car a couple of times too! I ended up paying him rent of $400/mo, and moved out to get my own place within 5 months having landed a new temporary job! Now, after 1.5 Years of sporadic jobs, I'm Permanent! with the best company in my industry to work for!ready123 said:awesome thread. hella smart people here
Mine is grinding to get my ass off the street. I was living out of my car in 03 making $9/hr. By 04 I had a tech job making 70k/yr and no longer had to eat from the Jack in a Crack dollar menu
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.