The Greatest Journal of All Time

[Watawata]

search for beau's jornal bro, it will give you motivation and more..Its on bodybuilding.com misc Others journals include HPRJ, TwoStep and bonobo times journals on RSD. Journals are good for motivation in my experience.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=130657653 All hail. First 3-5-7 whatever pages are beautiful. Read his entries, disregard rest.

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/162953/forum Im denied acces to Twosteps journal.

Welcome to the glory of uni http://www.rsdnation.com/node/135273

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/152765 This one is different, but hilarious. Idk how to view it after having seen pictures of what I think is the guy.

 

[TK-421]

Day whatever

I finally finished everything. All my work. All the stress. Gone.
I am so happy.

I can go back to track. I can sit on my couch all day. I can do anything.

I think track may be over. I have gotten out of shape. It's upsetting. really upsetting.
And it snowed again, so cant leave my house. Winter sucks so much.

Well, cant do anything this weekend. Guess I'll relax and take it easy. Now i can focus more on my DJ stuff. I feel like i have been slacking here. Sorry about that guys. I should be sorry to myself actually, i am at the loss. Going to start putting more effort now. I have all the time in the world

 

[TK-421]

Day 95

Nothing of interest has happened this week. I feel like my life has moved into a slump or a rut. I feel exactly the same as I did before I even knew about this site. Indifferent and maybe even Frustrated. I guess that's where the term AFC comes from.

I did go to the gym everyday this week since Track ended last week, glad I did that.

I don't know, I can't bring myself out. I can't seem to push my boundaries. I can't seem to do approaches or anything. Hell, It's still hard to make new friends, I don't even think I have any person whom I can call "close".

I don't know how to fix this. It just seems like a deep flaw in my personality.

 

[BookWorm]

I don't really have "close" friends either. But I am surrounded by people who I enjoy being with. The only way to make new friends is to chat with strangers - including approach!

The rut is only a temp state of mind. Think like an optimists, that's how I get out of my low points! What is something you love? Focus in on it and put 110% in it. Your passion will get you through your day, put a smile on your face and it will pull you up when you're feeling down.

Press on bro! The good will come soon!

 

[TK-421]

Day 106

Sorry for not positing. I haven't been that busy actually, just incredibly, incredibly lazy. I did not go to the gym since my last post. I can actually see the effects of it. I've gained weight, and not in a good way. Compounded by the fact that I've been eating junk foods too.

Psychologically, I'm passed the "depression" phase. I don't know what to call it. Stagnation? Recession? Either way, i feel like I'm getting better. I feel like a b!tch whenever I tell people about emotional **** like this. My last few posts kind of irritate me.

I'd equate my current condition to be the same as how i started, 3 months ago. Back where i started!

But I'm not going to give up

To fix:
Diet & Gym! Going to log calorie intake, NO junk food. I try to ask my parents to not even bring it in the house, but my sister complains, and when it's there, I binge. Maybe now since i havr the will not to eat this crap, ill avoid it easier.

Go out more! I really really really nees to leave my house. All this snow ruined my plans. I need to get my confidence back!

And of course, post on a regular interval.

 

[TK-421]

Day 124

It's been a while, hasn't it? I lurked on the sight for a bit a few days ago. I wanted to post but did not know what to say.

I've been exercising and losing fat, though I have been eating bad foods. I have been eating less though. Probably not a good combination. Going to have to cut down on that!

Overall, feeling good. I am particularly pumped up today. Did extra sets at the gym, and extra cardio. I was thinking about buying protein (gains, yo) but my dad said I do not need it since I already eat a pretty heavy meat diet. I don't know if he is right or not. What's your diet like?

I've been making various advancements with a few girls. Just being more open, less uptight, and such.

One of the problems I have been noticing is that in the mornings, I feel like ****, and thus dress like ****. Like throw on a generic sweat shirt. As the day progresses and I feel better, the clothes really sap my confidence. Maybe I should wake up earlier and try cold showers again?

Anyway, let's try this **** again:
1. Wake up on time, cold shower tomorrow, dress nicely
2. Log dem calories and resist the junk foods
3. work on projects
4. be more open/loose/comfortable around people

I am going to post next monday. if i forget/don't do it you can ban me from this site

 

[Watawata]

Confidence is not about the clothes you wear.

 

[TK-421]

Day 132

**** , I forgot to post yesterday. Oh well.

This week was great. Lots of good stuff going on.
I was accepted into a dual enrollment program at a university. This definitely aids my life goal I mentioned in my first post. Also means my school day ends 2 hours earlier than normal

This weekend I went to a programming competition too. One of our teams got fourth place, my team got 17th out of 50. We also won a special award, because I started flirting with the judges through the submission thing haha. They gave us snuggies.

Also, I landed a job interview this weekend with a databasing company. I am really excited about that. Really has the potential to open lots of doors for me.
Have done much with girls or anything though. Feel like I can't devote enough attention to each aspect of my life. But I'm glad it's starting to pick up and heading in the right direction.
@Watawata
You're definitely right. But it does make difference on how you view yourself. I always feel better when I wear a nice shirt rather than a generic sweatshirt. When I feel better about myself, I feel more confident around others. Maybe it's just me.

 

[TK-421]

Day 138

This week was alright. Did not go to the gym, I feel really bad about that. I actually had a dream about lifting lol. I feel that I have gained muscle mass and I am happy with the progress so far (Except the spotty workout schedule). I am also very happy that I have stuck with this journal for this long. I am glad I have been committed. If you are a lurker or are thinking about starting a journal, you should definitely try it out. It makes you think about your actions and how to improve them.

I observed a few things this week that made me really sit down and think. I'll share them with you:

So my friend had been in a LTR with this nice girl for about a year or so. They seemed happy together, always making out and ****. Now that I think of it, she is very flirty. I always passed her on my way to lunch and she was always with some dude, like holding hands and that kinda stuff, while she was dating my friend. She flirts with me too, she always says hi to me. Maybe she is just friendly? Anyway, a few days ago, my friend tells me she broke up with him because she wasn't feeling it anymore or some bs. He said they are still friends or something. The next day when I pass her, she is making out with this other dude she was always with. So in essence, she left my friend and immediately hooked up with this other guy. And now there is a rumor going around that my friend beat her while they were dating (He is a pretty jacked dude, but I do not think he could ever hit a girl like that). Supposedly one of her friends started it, but who knows.

That really got me thinking about women, how they act, motives, everything. I suppose this is pretty typical for you guys, but this is the first time I have ever witnessed it personally. You never really believe these things unless they actually happen to you. Like when you hear on the news three people died in a car crash, you never really think that those people have families, a life, a job. And all of a sudden, it's over in an instant. It always shocks me when I realize the reality of things. I guess I am too naive.

Another one,

I have a friend I met online 3 years ago. He lives in Europe. He is a pretty cool guy and he and I have become good friends over the years. The way he looks for girls is...interesting to say the least. 
He meets girls online and basically commits to long distance relationships and stuff like that. The thing is, he gets obsessed with these girls. I think he is some sort of beta hybrid or some ****. Like he spends hours talking to these girls through text and cams with them. And each time they leave him, he gets really depressed. Like really depressed. It's kinda sad. I don't understand why he does it. I've never really understood long distance/online relationships

Anyway, the girl he is seeing now is obsessed with him. Like crazy infatuated with him. She gets naked for him on demand. I spoke with them over skype the other day, and it was really strange. She had altered herself to match him better. Like she started talking like him/using his phrases, she even began conforming to his sexual fetishes too. She is his personal *****. They call each other boyfriend/girlfriend too.

I cannot comprehend how someone can be so..in love with someone like that. Like the emotional connection does not make sense to me. I cannot understand. Probably because i have never experienced it.
And at the same time, I want a setup like that. The first thing I thought after that night was "I need to get a girl".

I guess this all stems from watching the way my parents act around each other. Affection is a foriegn thing for me.

I bumped into this girl today, said hi and such. I'm not really friends with her, but more like acquatinces. She always says hi to me though. And she is cute too so.
Im an absent minded person, Im always lost in though when I walk. Like sometimes I walk into doors because I do not pay attention sometimes. I was walking alone in the hall, and she comes up behind me and says I need to find more friends to walk with. It did startle me ha.
I walked past one of teachers I had to see, but it wasn't imperative. Being the retard I am, I opted to stay and talk to the teacher, rather than her. Now I realize how dumb that was.

But when I got home, I see she added me on facebook. Seems like there is interest?

Sorry for such a long post..had a lot on my mind.

 

[TK-421]

Day 148

Spring break! This week has been going great.

I had that interview on tuesday. Totally crushed it. I was offered the job today! The office is pretty awesome and everyone there is pretty smart. I am pretty hyped about this. I know I am going to learn a ton this summer. Not to mention that the place is near my favourite restaurant and the pay is pretty great. Gonna spend all of it on food
I have accomplished one of my goals I outlined in the OP. feelin' great

I was bored as balls last night so I went on Omegle for ****s. I met this girl on there and we had like a 4 hour conversation. I went ****y + funny and the results were phenomenal.
She literally sent this too me:
her: "**** there is a wet spot.."
me: "I tend to have that effect"
h:"yeah?"
m:"proof's right there hun"
h:"you're a bit my type"
m:"I get that alot"

h:"most guys don't realize that most girls want a guy who is just a tad arrogant but also almost mocking in that way. A guy who brags about himself, a guy who knows who he is. Girls kinda like guys who are a bit of jerks because it challenges them and keeps it interesting. Most guys think if i am nice she'll date me and they end up looking like pussies"

Just try to think next time you text, "how can I make this text make me look like an *******?"

This site is doing God's work
"Most guys don't realize

 

[TK-421]

Day 153

Life has been pretty good. Been reading up some of the stuff I am going to need for my new job. I have the SAT and AP exams in 2 weeks. Going to get focused and cram for those. If I do well on the SAT this time, won't have to take it again. Aiming for 2250+
I got a good deal on dark souls 2, but I am not going to play it until summer. Don't need any distractions, especially now.
Goals for the week:
*SAT prep erryday
*Gym

 

[TK-421]

Day 176

Damn it's been a while!

I've been working pretty hard these last three weeks, and I am happy to say exams are finished!

Now I just have to do final projects. :/

I've been getting moderate exercise, I went to the gym maybe 3 times in these past weeks. Not good, I know. I've just been busy with all this ****. I did however play ultimate and basketball regularly so there is that.

So today was my last exam and I just so happened to be sitting next to a girl who caught my fancy. I was chatting her up before the exam, and it went very smoothly, kino and all that.

Just as I was about to seal the deal, a teacher calls her up and talks to her. Apparently, her test was ordered late because she took the course online, thus could not take it today and had to leave.
So yeah, I was c0ckblocked by a test

moral of the story: exams suck

 

[TK-421]

Day 208

Last post was over a month ago.
And it has nearly been 7 months since I first started posting this journal! 7 months! Honestly, I am surprised I have committed this long. Usually I stop following up, "give up" if you will. But I am ain't quitting yet. This in itself is progress eh? Haha

Today was my last day of school. Which means no more finals. Which means no more projects.
I can't say I have made any substantial progress with the ladies this year. But I can say I have made substantial progress as a person. I have improved. I'd like to take a look at my OP and comment on the goals I set out for myself:

Good Evening Gentlemen. I am Shrub, aspiring DJ.
I am 16 years old, 153lbs 6ft tall and sexy as sh!t. 6'1" and 160lbs. Sexier than ever
I am keeping this journal mainly for accountablity reasons, I feel that if I have other people involved with my goals and ambitions will help me not skip over them. I have kept (multiple) journals in the past, but I always sort of gradually abondon it over time. Ideally, I will update this journal everyday.200 days in and still going strong! I don't update daily though

I've been reading up on the Don Juan lifestyle, and now, since the planets have aligned according to scripture, it is time to implement your teachings into my lifestyle.
Now of course, I am not doing this for women. I am doing this for myself, and no one but. I have outlined my long term and short term goals below:

1. Short Term

• Get an A in all my Classes 3 A's and 3 B's this year. It averages above 4.0 due to weighting. Not an A in every class, but an A average!
• Become a Don Juan I am working on it
• Maximize my and expand my confidence levels Hail to the king, baby
• Destroy my comfort zone. The world is my comfort zone. Working on this one still. I find myself to tense up in some situations. I get like sudden realizations of self-consciousness sometimes. Getting in the *zone* is harder than it should be. Needs improvement.
  
• Get a job and add rigor to my life I got a ****ing sweet job which starts next week and I am excited as ****
  
  

2. The Ultimate Goal

• Become an accomplished physicist One day my young padawan
  

​

I love physics, it is my passion. I want to make a career out of it. I want to advance humankind. My name will be in history textbooks one day. But before I change others, I must change myself.

I believe there are three fundamental components of every person, Mental, Social and Physical. Perfection in each area leads to the perfect harmony of mind, body and soul. Accepted and loved by others, self-assured by mental and physical confidence, and refined morals and ethics.
Now, naturally, I do not think many people are perfect in all areas. I'm sure you know people who are smart, but not very sociable or athletic and vice versa.

I am sure you have weak points. I certainly do. Naturally, I am good mentally, but I lack physically and socially.
For the longest time, I would prefer to read rather than go to a party and I started going to the gym regularly 6 months ago. I used to think I could get by without having to talk much or exercise. I was wrong.

So, to achieve perfection, I have created this

1. Mental

• Read Everyday, at least one hour I have actually been reading less than I'd like
• Refine my mathematics I have gotten much better since
• Play my instrument I haven't touched my violin all year
• Abstinence **** abstinence. I am going to get laid
• Stop procrastinating Easier said then done. I have gotten better at doing work ahead of time. Definite improvement shown

2. Physical

• Goto gym at least 3 days a week I haven't gone all month and it really sucks my body is getting pudgy. I WILL go in the morning
• Build running stamina I ran ****ing track
• Lift weights My spirit animal is the BI-son. my arms have grown

3. Social

• Complete DJ exercises (Boot Camp) Nope. I want to get back into this
• Smile more I have been more expressive in general. But I never show negative emotions. At least I try to
• Control what I say, I have a bad habit of droning, and saying things before I think them through. Words are like gold, the less there is the more it's worth A bit better. It's not as bad as I make it sound in this sentence
• Destroy my comfort zone. The world is my comfort zone.
• Conquer anxiety Their shields are down captain! Only a matter of time left
• Tame confidence Tamed.Mostly.Needs to come out and play more often

It's difficult to implement all of this from day one, but I have been working at most of it up until now. I am going to slowly add all of these goals into my daily life, so it become routine and over time, I will weed out these flaws and become stronger.

Sorry for the long first post, but I had a lot on my mind, and now I can begin.
Tonight marks the beginning of my journey of self-improvement and my quest for perfection

I am making a new goal.

I will get laid before my 18th birthday.

I don't know how or with who. But I will do it.

This summer is going to be pretty busy for me. I have to take two online classes, and work full time at a company that expects me to produce work.
But I can make that work no problem.

My real problem is meeting people, in particular girls.
I don't want to be stuck in my house during my free time, I want to expand. I want to make use of it.

Where do you guys usually go to meet girls outside of school? I am thinking the mall, I don't really know of any other place.

 

[Watawata]

bars and clubs maybe.

 

[TK-421]

Day 221

Damn, what a week!

My job is pretty awesome! The projects are fun, and the people there are pretty great. They are really smart people, like MIT, Yale grads and such. I will learn alot this summer from these guys

And it's not all work either, we do lots of fun things. Every week the company takes two hour lunches at fancy-ass restaurants. Paid of course
The only part that sucks is that I have to wake up early and take an hour bus ride.
I actually wake earlier for work than I did for school
And I am on time
Went to a party last night, was pretty fun, danced a bit with the ladies
Nothing else happened besides that.
Pretty high on life right now!

@Watawata
Can't really get into those for another few years haha

 

[TK-421]

Day 245

Life's good. I am the most productive I have ever been in my life. Wake up at 6, at work by 8, leave at 430, home at 6, gym til 7, online courses til 8 or so, then I work on side projects til 11.
I actually prefer doing projects/work over videogames and other time wasting stuff. On the bus rides, I am reading comp sci books. I feel my wizard beard growing.

I went to a party last weekend and was hanging out with this chick. Pretty sure she is into me, she's giving me the signs. I'll let this play out, I don't know how it will end. I am considering not advancing because we are childhood friends and when we break off it'll be awkward as ****. I'll see her this weekend. Perhaps she's just a flirt.

 

[TK-421]

Day 280

What a summer! Working was great, I loved it. So much freedom, good food , good pay, doing what I like. Beats going to school big time. I don't think I can ever get a "regular" job now
One day I skipped and went into the city with my friend and a good time.

Class started this week, it's alright. I have to wake up very early which sucks.
I've been hitting the gym daily , I gained too much weight working and eating. All in all life is good. My life doesn't feel so busy anymore, I finally can relax

 

[TK-421]

Day 294

School is coming along fine. I have very chill classes, easy work load, it's going to be a great year. I took a philosophy class just for fun.

I take classes at a university too through a program the district has setup so other kids my age are there.

And damn the girls are whack there. I didn't expect much, but it's just bad. It's strange, the guys there aren't socially awkwards, they dress right etc. but the girls are far worse on average. It's usually opposite.

But back at my regular school, things are going great socially. I am definetly much more friendlier, nicer, flirty and confident than I was 280 days ago. You guys are right. Once you add purpose and passion to your life, everything just falls into place.

 

[TK-421]

Day 313

Guys, I ****ed up.

I really ****ed up this time.

So I met this girl this weekend and we really hit it off. She's great , smart, pretty all the works. I did well, we talked for hours, her interest was high, I remembered my training all that ****. We were literally about to make out, but I had to go. I got her number and everything.

The thing is, I didn't tell her my real name, I just used one I made on the fly. My real name is foreign, and is just unrelatable, and I've found it dissuades people from talking to me. That's why I go by shrub. It sounds retarded to say "hi my name is shrub" so I usually just give an Americanized version of my real name. But this time, I just used a random one like I said.

I told her this today as we texted and she said it was a major turn off and she doesn't want to speak or see me anymore.

It's bull ****, but I've deleted her number and just accepted it. I just feel like I ****ed up and could've made this work. There is just one let down yea, but god dammit, I'm a retard.

On the good news, I'm doing well in school and going to the gym regularly.

But Jesus Christ, I'm dumb sometimes.