The good friend or his ex?

[Konada]

So I need advice on this situation. Let's keep it short.

Close friend had a gf, HB X. Broke up, now HB X attracted me, I get the vibe. I like HB X now, want to get her number and date her. But asked friend about how he felt towards her now, still confused as to why they broke up. I take it he still has feelings for her. Haven't talked to him about me going after her. Bros before hos?

Advice?

 

[Londonman09]

Have to ask yourself...is she good enough to risk a friendship over? If your buddy is still pining for her it would definately cause some friction. I know lots of guys who would find it easierto ask for forgiveness than permission..

 

[Doctrine Dark]

I don't think you should pursue this. Seen situations like this ruin friendships forever. Not saying that's a given here, but I wouldn't do it.

 

[theblackcat]

Bros before hos, close friends are more difficult to get than girls.

 

[Myrrdin]

True. If he's a close friend stay away. Find another girl. Between close friends exes are forbidden territory.

 

[Jeffst1980]

That girl is toying with you because it is "forbidden" and the thought of two good friends ending a friendship over HER is probably the greatest ego boost a girl can receive.

Don't be an idiot. You'll destroy the friendship and she'll dump you, anyway.

 

[mahoney]

a lot of the time stuff like this happens it causes friction but i think a large part of that is when it is hidden and then the friend suspects something is happening and then finds out and its all kind of weird, with trustworthyness issues then appearing, and the sneakyness thing coming into play

why not mention it to the friend and say you "look im sort of feeling this way about hb x, obviously this could be kind of weird but i thought i should ask you about it"...that way you can gauge how he feels about it and also you've been above board. if you were then to decide to pursue hb x i dont think this would harm your chances (even if friend told hb x)

 

[Konada]

That girl is toying with you because it is "forbidden" and the thought of two good friends ending a friendship over HER is probably the greatest ego boost a girl can receive.

Don't be an idiot. You'll destroy the friendship and she'll dump you, anyway.

One thing about I dislike about this forum is that every girl that a guy encounters problems with automatically becomes an all malevolent being that is set out to fck us guys sh1t up.

With that being said, I know she's not that type of person, I thought about it and I won't pursue this any further. My friendship is worth more than a relationship that may end anytime.

 

[Konada]

a lot of the time stuff like this happens it causes friction but i think a large part of that is when it is hidden and then the friend suspects something is happening and then finds out and its all kind of weird, with trustworthyness issues then appearing, and the sneakyness thing coming into play

why not mention it to the friend and say you "look im sort of feeling this way about hb x, obviously this could be kind of weird but i thought i should ask you about it"...that way you can gauge how he feels about it and also you've also been above board. if you were then to decide to pursue hb x i dont think this would harm your chances (even if friend told hb x)

I wouldn't ask him directly about it, he still has feelings for her and I've been through this before. Asking for permission when the guy is not over her will result in a broken friendship sooner or later.

 

[mahoney]

I wouldn't ask him directly about it, he still has feelings for her and I've been through this before. Asking for permission when the guy is not over her will result in a broken friendship sooner or later.

ah if he definitely still has feelings then yes thats dangerous waters. only thing i'd suggest is there is ANY likelyhood of something happening with the hbx i would discuss it with him before rather than trying to hide it and it come out later on. the former can hurt a friendship but can also heal in time, the latter will cause permanent damage to a friendship