"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

The good friend or his ex?

Konada

Konada

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So I need advice on this situation. Let's keep it short.

Close friend had a gf, HB X. Broke up, now HB X attracted me, I get the vibe. I like HB X now, want to get her number and date her. But asked friend about how he felt towards her now, still confused as to why they broke up. I take it he still has feelings for her. Haven't talked to him about me going after her. Bros before hos?

Advice?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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L

Londonman09

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Have to ask yourself...is she good enough to risk a friendship over? If your buddy is still pining for her it would definately cause some friction. I know lots of guys who would find it easierto ask for forgiveness than permission..
 
D

Doctrine Dark

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I don't think you should pursue this. Seen situations like this ruin friendships forever. Not saying that's a given here, but I wouldn't do it.
 
M

Myrrdin

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True. If he's a close friend stay away. Find another girl. Between close friends exes are forbidden territory.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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J

Jeffst1980

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That girl is toying with you because it is "forbidden" and the thought of two good friends ending a friendship over HER is probably the greatest ego boost a girl can receive.

Don't be an idiot. You'll destroy the friendship and she'll dump you, anyway.
 
M

mahoney

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a lot of the time stuff like this happens it causes friction but i think a large part of that is when it is hidden and then the friend suspects something is happening and then finds out and its all kind of weird, with trustworthyness issues then appearing, and the sneakyness thing coming into play

why not mention it to the friend and say you "look im sort of feeling this way about hb x, obviously this could be kind of weird but i thought i should ask you about it"...that way you can gauge how he feels about it and also you've been above board. if you were then to decide to pursue hb x i dont think this would harm your chances (even if friend told hb x)
 
Konada

Konada

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Jeffst1980 said:
That girl is toying with you because it is "forbidden" and the thought of two good friends ending a friendship over HER is probably the greatest ego boost a girl can receive.

Don't be an idiot. You'll destroy the friendship and she'll dump you, anyway.
Click to expand...
One thing about I dislike about this forum is that every girl that a guy encounters problems with automatically becomes an all malevolent being that is set out to fck us guys sh1t up.

With that being said, I know she's not that type of person, I thought about it and I won't pursue this any further. My friendship is worth more than a relationship that may end anytime.
 
Konada

Konada

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mahoney said:
a lot of the time stuff like this happens it causes friction but i think a large part of that is when it is hidden and then the friend suspects something is happening and then finds out and its all kind of weird, with trustworthyness issues then appearing, and the sneakyness thing coming into play

why not mention it to the friend and say you "look im sort of feeling this way about hb x, obviously this could be kind of weird but i thought i should ask you about it"...that way you can gauge how he feels about it and also you've also been above board. if you were then to decide to pursue hb x i dont think this would harm your chances (even if friend told hb x)
Click to expand...
I wouldn't ask him directly about it, he still has feelings for her and I've been through this before. Asking for permission when the guy is not over her will result in a broken friendship sooner or later.
 
M

mahoney

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Konada said:
I wouldn't ask him directly about it, he still has feelings for her and I've been through this before. Asking for permission when the guy is not over her will result in a broken friendship sooner or later.
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ah if he definitely still has feelings then yes thats dangerous waters. only thing i'd suggest is there is ANY likelyhood of something happening with the hbx i would discuss it with him before rather than trying to hide it and it come out later on. the former can hurt a friendship but can also heal in time, the latter will cause permanent damage to a friendship
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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