"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The good friend or his ex?

Konada

Konada

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So I need advice on this situation. Let's keep it short.

Close friend had a gf, HB X. Broke up, now HB X attracted me, I get the vibe. I like HB X now, want to get her number and date her. But asked friend about how he felt towards her now, still confused as to why they broke up. I take it he still has feelings for her. Haven't talked to him about me going after her. Bros before hos?

Advice?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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L

Londonman09

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Have to ask yourself...is she good enough to risk a friendship over? If your buddy is still pining for her it would definately cause some friction. I know lots of guys who would find it easierto ask for forgiveness than permission..
 
D

Doctrine Dark

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I don't think you should pursue this. Seen situations like this ruin friendships forever. Not saying that's a given here, but I wouldn't do it.
 
M

Myrrdin

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True. If he's a close friend stay away. Find another girl. Between close friends exes are forbidden territory.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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J

Jeffst1980

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That girl is toying with you because it is "forbidden" and the thought of two good friends ending a friendship over HER is probably the greatest ego boost a girl can receive.

Don't be an idiot. You'll destroy the friendship and she'll dump you, anyway.
 
M

mahoney

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a lot of the time stuff like this happens it causes friction but i think a large part of that is when it is hidden and then the friend suspects something is happening and then finds out and its all kind of weird, with trustworthyness issues then appearing, and the sneakyness thing coming into play

why not mention it to the friend and say you "look im sort of feeling this way about hb x, obviously this could be kind of weird but i thought i should ask you about it"...that way you can gauge how he feels about it and also you've been above board. if you were then to decide to pursue hb x i dont think this would harm your chances (even if friend told hb x)
 
Konada

Konada

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Jeffst1980 said:
That girl is toying with you because it is "forbidden" and the thought of two good friends ending a friendship over HER is probably the greatest ego boost a girl can receive.

Don't be an idiot. You'll destroy the friendship and she'll dump you, anyway.
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One thing about I dislike about this forum is that every girl that a guy encounters problems with automatically becomes an all malevolent being that is set out to fck us guys sh1t up.

With that being said, I know she's not that type of person, I thought about it and I won't pursue this any further. My friendship is worth more than a relationship that may end anytime.
 
Konada

Konada

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mahoney said:
a lot of the time stuff like this happens it causes friction but i think a large part of that is when it is hidden and then the friend suspects something is happening and then finds out and its all kind of weird, with trustworthyness issues then appearing, and the sneakyness thing coming into play

why not mention it to the friend and say you "look im sort of feeling this way about hb x, obviously this could be kind of weird but i thought i should ask you about it"...that way you can gauge how he feels about it and also you've also been above board. if you were then to decide to pursue hb x i dont think this would harm your chances (even if friend told hb x)
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I wouldn't ask him directly about it, he still has feelings for her and I've been through this before. Asking for permission when the guy is not over her will result in a broken friendship sooner or later.
 
M

mahoney

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Konada said:
I wouldn't ask him directly about it, he still has feelings for her and I've been through this before. Asking for permission when the guy is not over her will result in a broken friendship sooner or later.
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ah if he definitely still has feelings then yes thats dangerous waters. only thing i'd suggest is there is ANY likelyhood of something happening with the hbx i would discuss it with him before rather than trying to hide it and it come out later on. the former can hurt a friendship but can also heal in time, the latter will cause permanent damage to a friendship
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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