The Fundamental Problems Men Have with Women

[zekko]

@BeExcellent - from a man's perspective a woman pursuing has nothing to do with how secure/insecure she may be. In fact most women are insecure and I don't know a pretty girl that doesn't have a few insecurities. ;-) Women put a lot of stock into what others think of them and fear rejection more than men, those are always haulmarks of an insecure person.

I like my women a little insecure, I think it's endearing. I think a woman should be a little insecure, along with being a little submissive. I think of confidence as being more of a masculine trait. Not that women shouldn't have confidence, but you don't want her to be bordering on arrogant. By the same token, too much insecurity can cause bad behavior. It's about balances.

I didn't say you don't respond!
Example of a girl INITIATING 80% of the time (it's on a per day basis).

Okay, I thought you were saying that you should only respond to one out of five of her texts, for example.
I agree with your last post about there being phases to a relationship.

I understand what you are saying @Howiestern I really do. What men have told me repeatedly is that they are so happy to finally meet a woman who doesn't blow up their phone & bug them all the time. I hear that a lot.

Any sort of behavior in excess is usually a bad thing. Whether it be bothering someone all the time or not getting in touch with them at all.

 

[SteR]

The masculine is about his life's purpose. He wants to leave after sex not because he wants to bang 20 other women. Life beckons him. She will lose respect for him as soon as he succumbs to her desire to cuddle. Even though she wants him to stay, she secretly wants him to go out and live his purpose and conquer his world. This is the masculine and feminine polarity.

A masculine man fvcks the world as hard as he fvcks his woman. For women and life are one. This is why women qualify you for your worldly aspirations. It IS a sign of your masculinity. A feminine woman does not want a man to stay in bed all day with her and do nothing. This is the paradox of women chasing and trying to clamp you down. As soon as you allow yourself to be domesticated, attraction fizzles. You are no longer masculine.

I agree with what you're saying, if we're talking in archetypes. I think a woman's father plays more of a role though. A woman looks to her a father as an example of what a man is. If her father was successful and powerful then that's the kind of man she'll gravitate to. I mean when I look around at all the relationships I know of, some of them are happy and the man is no alpha male shaping the world.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent again refuses to acknowledge that there are two phases to relationships: the initial courting phase where the man pursues more (about 50% as she must reciprocate), and then phase 2 once she falls,, when she will be chasing him (Coach Corey Wayne says she will do 70-80% of the pursuing - see my example above - this does not mean she sends 4 texts for every one of yours). My data showed my last girl did 71-79% of the pursuing for our heydey. Doc Love (Corey Wayne and my own mentor) said it long ago: women are happiest in relationships where they do most of the pursuing.

Naturally in middle age BeExcellent would love lots of men to initiate and let their interest be known. With 21 year old women, that is not what I've observed to be the case.

Excuse me while I . The funny thing is that since getting back into the dating market I've found virtually no change in the amount of interest men show me. Its still more than I have time for.

In fact I find from the guys I prefer (those in my own age group or a little older) actually prefer me to a woman half their age. Why? Compatibility, similar life experience and frame of reference culturally. This is based on my own personal experience and observation. I've been out with men who can pull younger, MUCH younger. What they tell me is that after the novelty of the youth wears off they need to be able to relate to that young thing as a person. That's often where a disconnect happens because they end up having to put in so much more effort and lavish so much more attention on such a woman and it wears them out after a while. Never mind that eventually young girls want to be mothers and many of these men already have children and are not interested in starting all over with new babies at 50 or 55.

If men my age can find a sane, stable woman who also still happens to be hot in the same age range they are quite interested. They see her as a more compatible potential LTR and perhaps life mate.

If men want to date younger, more power to you. There is no reason not to but not everyone finds fulfillment there after a while. If you do, cool!! I know several men who exclusively date girls half their age. Every time I see them they have a new fresh pretty girl on their arm. I think that's awesome! Good for them! But it tends to be a revolving door (even with a surgeon who has the yacht and is a multimillionaire). I've heard the surgeon complain about the revolving door but he likes the new young girls and a steady supply of young kitty so who can blame him.

If Neil or anybody else feels better when they insult me, knock yourself out, but it doesn't affect my reality, which is as I've stated. Next weekend the retired pro athlete/businessman I've been seeing is flying in to spend the weekend. He is a cool guy and I really am enjoying getting to know him. Meanwhile there is still the artist I've been dating for several months now. I have a date tonight with the GM of a five star resort, there are others I simply don't have time for...My thing is that I'm enjoying the process of getting to know people, see how things fit, see if I like the man on a deeper level (they are all attractive, successful and handsome) before getting more involved. So my calendar is plenty full.

If a man finds a cool younger woman who wants to LTR him and that is what he wants, awesome! If he finds younger women to have sex with on the short term, great! Do what works for you!! I think it's all fantastic!

Neil saying I'm somehow concerned because of my age fits his narrative, but trust me, nothing could be further from the truth. I'm still at a BMI of 19, fit, pretty, smart, fun, and mentally stable/mature. Life is pretty cool actually. I am positive and I am happy with myself. Several of the doctors I work with are constantly trying to set me up. So I have abundance like I always have. So I'll go on suffering through middle age with a big grin on my face.

 

[bigneil]

Insult you?

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree with what you're saying, if we're talking in archetypes. I think a woman's father plays more of a role though. A woman looks to her a father as an example of what a man is. If her father was successful and powerful then that's the kind of man she'll gravitate to. I mean when I look around at all the relationships I know of, some of them are happy and the man is no alpha male shaping the world.

This is an important point. My father was a man who was warm, but extremely alpha as described in this forum and also many times quite stoic. He never lost frame (as I've said in many threads) and he did not like idle chatter, especially with women. If you called him up just to chat, sometimes he'd be in a mood to converse, other times he'd interrupt the conversation rather brusquely and say "What is the point of your call?" if you said "Just to say Hi, or just to chat" he'd say, "I don't have time to chat. I'm doing important stuff and this is an interruption" at which point you knew it was time to get off the phone and let him go on doing what he was doing.

My grandmother used to relate the story about her second husband. He was a wealthy businessman (and my grandfather had been an independent oilman) so my grandmother knew how to be a businessman's wife with all the inherent unpredictable factors. She married my grandfather at 19, she was widowed in her 40s, and then married her 2nd husband in her 60s. She used to tell about all the other ladies in town chasing after her 2nd husband, baking for him, making him casseroles and things. She simply was a mysterious woman who was engaging when he reached out to her. She didn't go running after him like all the other women. He chose my grandmother and they were married 30 years until she was again widowed. She was always a stand out beauty compared to her peers.

So I agree I gravitate to men who are like my father, my grandfather, and my step-grandfather, all of whom were men's men, businessmen/professional men, and who were busy doing BIG stuff in their lives. Men like that want a woman who they can rely on and enjoy in their down time. They want a companion and a partner for life, someone who is an asset to them (however they define it). And high caliber men I know have a tough time finding women who can be that asset, especially if they are single older. The women who make those kinds of companions and partners are already married as a general rule.

So I will agree that the way I naturally interact with men has much to do with the types of men who were examples in my own life. I think they were good examples. So I accept that I am probably screening for this type of man even on a subconscious level.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If men want to date younger, more power to you.

And if any women out there want to date poorer, more power to them, I say.

 

[BeExcellent]

Well Neil you seem to have a need to harp on my age and insinuate that I "must" be this or that because I'm so old, lol.

If that's your narrative, you are welcome to that opinion. I'm simply pointing out that your opinion has no bearing whatsoever on my reality, that's all.

Insult you?

Read what you wrote previously:

Naturally in middle age BeExcellent would love lots of men to initiate and let their interest be known

Gaslighting 101.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I think a woman should be a little insecure, along with being a little submissive.

Consider the idea that all security women feel MUST come from a male, either directly or indirectly.

Either directly, in the form of having a financially secure male mate.

Or indirectly, living "independently" within a system (monetary and economic) created primarily by males.

According this idea, ALL FORMS of feminism (and female power, etc.) only exist because males ALLOW IT to, either directly or indirectly.

Our entire economic system (and the fiat currency / petrodollar system upon which it rests, and therefore everything possible within ) is "protected" by (and created by) the U.S. Military, a pretty big example of "violent male power."

 

[bigneil]

Read what you wrote previously:

Spare me the BS. If I insulted you, you could clarify to readers. You've harped on my age all along. So I guess it is you who is...

Gaslighting 101.

verb
gerund or present participle: gaslighting

1. manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.

 

[The Duke]

Looking good and having your schitt together never goes out of style!

@BeExcellent - we will be expecting a field report by Monday morning at the latest! lol