"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Fruit and the Seed

bigneil

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After 30 years of dating beautiful women, I was reflecting on the fact that in every single case, no matter how much they loved me (and my first love from 1987 just messaged me), there always came a time when they would pull away. It was probably the most frustrating thing I ever dealt with in my life. I wrote complete animation systems from scratch (unheard of since Max/Maya), but could never truly solve the problem of women pulling away at some point.

Until my last breakup that is, when I had to walk away from the girl of my dreams. It wasn't until then that I finally stopped fighting it. I just accepted that this is simply part of the process. I realized that there is analogy that can describe relationships.

You start out observing a fresh, ripe piece of fruit, something you need to survive (or at least to procreate). So you pick it, and you taste it, and you consume it, and you swallow the seeds. Eventually the fruit is gone, and you (in the old days at least) would travel with your new energy and excrete the seed, but let's say we were into seed saving by that point.

You must plant the seed.

It takes time to grow, and if you don't cultivate it (i.e., you freak out when you have no fruit), it won't ever grow back and you'll have to go find new fruit or starve. However, if you do cultivate it, it does grow back (it's hard to tell how long it will take, but nearly always within a year) and suddenly you have more fruit (and hopefully you planted Pole Beans). So we need to plant multiple items and rotate crops to always have fruit.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I find that this same analogy could be applied to money. What is the point of accumulating mass wealth if you aren't ever going to use it or spend it on yourself?
 

bigneil

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I find that this same analogy could be applied to money. What is the point of accumulating mass wealth if you aren't ever going to use it or spend it on yourself?
Why not make extra money though? You never know if you'll be alive for another 50 years. You might find something that pays a lot that you love to do.

Men don't hit the wall as some say, not if they stay in shape.

Historically, strong men remained almost as productive as they were in their prime, up until they are 75 or so, and then they would usually quickly die once they were no longer productive. That's how we're supposed to go - out like a light.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Historically, strong men remained almost as productive as they were in their prime, up until they are 75 or so, and then they would usually quickly die once they were no longer productive. That's how we're supposed to go - out like a light.
Yeah I've heard that before too. It's like once a man loses his purpose, he dies suddenly and quickly. But if a man never had a purpose then he gets several near death experiences and when he does eventually die, it's a slow one. Almost like he wants to stay alive to find that one purpose.
 
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