Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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The first message sent on POF, how do you make it sound?

Shivastorm_88

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Do you typically comment on the profile and leave it at that, or try to ask right off the bat a question to get a conversation started?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Korrupt

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Espi said:
Nice photos! How is that you're on this crazy site? Do you have a tail or something?
I like that!

I've been using "Hmm.. You're definitely cute, and from your profile you seem like a cool girl, but are you adventurous? :D"

Or some variation. You give them a compliment, then imply that you've actually read their profile, then challenge them.
 

Equilibrium

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Asking a question is a must, because it's a call to action. But the quality of the question is the thing. She has to feel compelled to answer it, so I usually make it something from her profile. I definitely like Espi's idea though and I'm going to try it after I change my pictures up. I'm smiling in my pics and I read on Chateau Heartiste that that is a turn off for women actually, so I'm going to take some new pictures and subdue the smile a bit (use my arrogant smirk instead).
 

TheMale

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i don't know if it's still working, i used to do that 2 years ago, when i was discovering PU on date site, today i'm not doing his anymore i still prefere the real life.

'hey, look cute.
but, there's a problem !' - that's awaking her curiosity and she actually asking you what is the probleme, then you just playing the push and pull and ****y and funny thing

or

'hey, you look attractive, but i dont know you enough to be sure about it.
so XXX (her name) what is your 3 best qualities ?
and don't tell me you're a nice girl, it ain't gonna work between us !'

it works for me pretty well but not on POF, just other sites.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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rhcp83

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I go out in real life and avoid 5s that think they're 10s which is what that site is, that and fatties. (This coming from a former POF addict.) Never had ONE good date on there, a bunch of mediocre dates with mediocre women.

Met every cute/hot girl I dated in person or through someone I knew.
 

cola

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Just a simple "sup" will do.. If she finds you attractive that will be enough
 

SamTheHobit

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Go out and meet real life people, don't waste your time on POF.
 

Jariel

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Send your mails to members who are new to the site and set yourself apart from the idiots, by being normal and polite. Girls who have been on the site a long time are often disheartened with net dating or they're total attention wh0res who love playing with guys.

Alternatively, wait for them to mail you. This always works best for me. You will get a lot of ugly, weird and fat chicks mail you, but if your photos and profile are good, then you will get the odd decent chick here and there.

What you need to bear in mind is that a lot of the women on POF are seeking love and affection and will disqualify any guy who acts like a jerk, brings up sex too soon or who tries too hard or appears fake. Being genuine is the key to doing well on POF, at least for me.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Iceberg

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cola said:
Just a simple "sup" will do.. If she finds you attractive that will be enough
Haha. Those are the worst intros of them all. No thought. No personality.

If you send out 100 "sups" sure maybe you'll get 5 replies. But you're missing out on the other 10-15 chicks who would have talked to you if you gave them something to say.
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Jariel said:
Send your mails to members who are new to the site and set yourself apart from the idiots, by being normal and polite. Girls who have been on the site a long time are often disheartened with net dating or they're total attention wh0res who love playing with guys.

Alternatively, wait for them to mail you. This always works best for me. You will get a lot of ugly, weird and fat chicks mail you, but if your photos and profile are good, then you will get the odd decent chick here and there.
This is good advice here. Also, remember that POF is a sausagefest and a buyer's market for women. There are 5-10 guys for every woman on that site depending on where you live. You'll get rejected a lot on that site. I personally never had any success on POF so I deleted my profile. Pay sites like Eharmony are better. On POF I was getting hit up by 3-5's, but on Eharmony I was getting messaged by HB7-8's. Eharmony has an equal ratio of men to women as well.
 

bigneil

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This one worked with an HB8 for me:

"You have trouble written all over you. What are you doing later?"
 

Equilibrium

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Match has a good ratio of men to women. It's only like $20 a month right now. I've been using that to way more success than POF. Also, if you live in the U.S., you ought to toss up an OKCupid profile too, as OKC has a better m to f ratio than POF. OKC will get you a few girls, but I feel the site works against you. Girls who are under 80% matches will rarely message you back, and once you go through that top 20% you need to wait for it to regen. It also pays to keep your profile up even if you don't intend to use it for a few months, because it will let you know what girls have been on that site for eons and are very likely attention *****s, broken women no man can stand, sticking to 436 bulletpoint checklists or just riding the carousel night after night. With Match I just buy the 3 month subscription when I know I'll be in a given area for 3 months or longer. eHarmony is BS and doesn't really work. It's "femcentric" and eHarmony controls the flow which is usually painfully slow and you pay for a few months of nothing followed by maybe 1 decent date. The matchmaking stuff is all flawed - it's based on a romantic version of broscience. Best chicks I ever got were vegan hippies who wanted to be dominated by a politically incorrect rightwing oppressor (heh), and eHarmony won't let those chicks get to me.
 

Dust 2 Dust

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I heard that OKCupid was recently bought out by match.com so it's probably not gonna be free much longer. It looks like POF is slowly turning into a pay site too.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Equilibrium

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Aye, but OKC is genius. It's 100% marketed towards women - it's so girly you feel gay on it, but that's the genius of it. Sites like that are sausage fests, so the plan brings in an equitable number of females.
 

Equilibrium

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Thanks for that link Shizz. The stuff there helped. I got some rough replies using it, but some good ones, and that's after batting 000. for weeks reading girls profiles and writing a paragraph based on what they wrote.
 

Zarky

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This is a good thread, the guys posting here know how to hit on online chicks. Nice to see. Anybody who gives too much thought to an initial email doesn't get it.

I actually use a script generator that picks up their username and sends them a canned generalized piquant message incorporating their name so it doesn't seem quite as canned. If I see a chick I like, I hit one button and in two seconds it's spit out a message to her. 80% of the time I get no response but when I'm really in the market for a chick I'll send out the max 40 first emails a day and can bang a new chick every two or so weeks.

The beauty of this system is that I put myself in front of so many women that I can screen for the ones who are most likely to put out quickly. I ruthlessly screen and if any of them shows anything but eagerness to bone down, I just wait a day and contact 40 more.
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Equilibrium said:
Aye, but OKC is genius. It's 100% marketed towards women - it's so girly you feel gay on it, but that's the genius of it. Sites like that are sausage fests, so the plan brings in an equitable number of females.
Your post cracked me up. I felt like a homo on that site as well filling out those cheesy quizzes. :yes:
 
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