"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

The Expressive Men - Spaz Insights

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Assuming you are correct (and I have no reason to believe you aren't), I had to fight for it. I had to fight my own tendencies to get to the border of the expressives.
You do realise that you have to keep fighting it every single day and yet not fully to be able to connect (with people) as seamlessly as the expressives?

It's a struggle and there's still moments where "you don't get it". It's because you were hardwired differently. This can make a man within your quadrant to be miserable when the results is not something desired hence the swing to the opposite pendulum and the fanatically deranged emerges.

If it's your wish to stay at ur current position then it's a life long fight that brings you just beyond the reach of what you truly desire.

Ur salvation will be to be content at just being below the border whilst diminishing ur natural talents. It's a tall order my friend and I wish you luck.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

thelad

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2018
Messages
82
Reaction score
54
You do realise that you have to keep fighting it every single day and yet not fully to be able to connect (with people) as seamlessly as the expressives?
I understand this one real its also another thing to realise it when in their presence as well the ability to read minds as such.
There are people who steal your breath as well.

Great stuff Spaz Ive come across these charts before but for the life of me I can't remember when!
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,755
Reaction score
9,953
You do realise that you have to keep fighting it every single day and yet not fully to be able to connect (with people) as seamlessly as the expressives?
I could see that as true. As I've gotten older however, I'm no longer as interested in that as I was when I was younger. It's also probably not as important for me to connect with people as it is to the expressives.

I'm a very strong introvert, but that is balanced by my being more toward the middle on the facts/relationship scale. I've always dealt with people one on one much better than with a crowd.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,672
Reaction score
1,406
Age
37
Location
So Cal
@Spaz where exactly would I fall? More middle, upper, bordering?
I do agree that I am an expressive. Interesting thread
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
@Spaz where exactly would I fall? More middle, upper, bordering?
I do agree that I am an expressive. Interesting thread
Going by ur postings, you're more in the middle.

You display the typical passion of an expressive but ur effectiveness needs to be worked on.

Passion + effectiveness = greatness.

Find the right job or calling and be really effective in it.
 

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,672
Reaction score
1,406
Age
37
Location
So Cal
Going by ur postings, you're more in the middle.

You display the typical passion of an expressive but ur effectiveness needs to be worked on.

Passion + effectiveness = greatness.

Find the right job or calling and be really effective in it.
Can you tell me more about effectiveness?
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Can you tell me more about effectiveness?
As in ur passions or just with women in particular ?

If it's women, I've already posted it. The only constant that has always attracted women is power and it's an aphrodisiac that ALL women is drawn towards.

To have that power, 1st you'll need to be great.

To be great, you'll need to 1st find ur calling and then, only then work on being effective in it - that's your path towards greatness.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,714
Reaction score
2,659
Age
45
Location
Canada
As in ur passions or just with women in particular ?

If it's women, I've already posted it. The only constant that has always attracted women is power and it's an aphrodisiac that ALL women is drawn towards.

To have that power, 1st you'll need to be great.

To be great, you'll need to 1st find ur calling and then, only then work on being effective in it - that's your path towards greatness.
Finding that calling is not easy, but it is imo the way to a hapoy life.
I still dont think i know whats mine.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Finding that calling is not easy, but it is imo the way to a hapoy life.
I still dont think i know whats mine.
You're an oddity to me as I can't pin point which of ur dominant traits fall into which quadrant.

Reminds me of BigDave but the opposite of him.

I suspect that you have some preexisting condition that you were born with hence my inability to place you squarely in a quadrant.

Sorry bud but believe me I tried and read through many of ur postings, and yet I'm still unable to pin point.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,714
Reaction score
2,659
Age
45
Location
Canada
You're an oddity to me as I can't pin point which of ur dominant traits fall into which quadrant.

Reminds me of BigDave but the opposite of him.

I suspect that you have some preexisting condition that you were born with hence my inability to place you squarely in a quadrant.

Sorry bud but believe me I tried and read through many of ur postings, and yet I'm still unable to pin point.
Hahah cant either probably my ADHD
Feels like im all over the place.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Hahah cant either probably my ADHD
Feels like im all over the place.
Looks like I'll need to Google that one.

Anyhow if it's of any help for you, I just find that you display equal amounts of traits in both The Mystery Man and The Intellectual Man.

That's the oddity.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,714
Reaction score
2,659
Age
45
Location
Canada
Yeah im pretty sure it the Attention deficit disorder that make it hard to pin point

I always like to learn new things, so i read alot. But i rarely go in depth because i get bored very fast.
And its a bit the same with EQ.


Its probably why its very hard to find my calling its like im interested in everything and nothing at the same time.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,150
Reaction score
5,056
Age
35
Location
Eye of the storm
@Spaz I remember you've been talking about this theory before, but back then I had no idea what your terminology actually meant. It's a lot clearer now with that graph. Is this your own model or someone else's? I've seen plenty of psychological models and charts, but have never seen this one.

Not sure where I'd rank on dominance, I prefer to persuade rather than dominate, but will absolutely dominate if that's necessary. My EQ is definitely high, not sure how that translates into my forum posts, but IRL I read people better than most people around me appears to be doing. That ability makes it unnecessary in most cases for me to straight up dominate, I don't find it hard to persuade.

What do you think?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
@Spaz I remember you've been talking about this theory before, but back then I had no idea what your terminology actually meant. It's a lot clearer now with that graph. Is this your own model or someone else's? I've seen plenty of psychological models and charts, but have never seen this one.

Not sure where I'd rank on dominance, I prefer to persuade rather than dominate, but will absolutely dominate if that's necessary. My EQ is definitely high, not sure how that translates into my forum posts, but IRL I read people better than most people around me appears to be doing. That ability makes it unnecessary in most cases for me to straight up dominate, I don't find it hard to persuade.

What do you think?
You can't find it elsewhere because...

It's a mixture of my own experiences - real life interactions coupled with business/leadership psychological analysis to gain an advantage over others (which is learned from many sources).

Add in my natural quadrant + dominant traits = this hypothesis that's displayed here.

Some of you clever guys will gain power over others simply just by reading and understanding the entirety of the 4 quadrants.

Whilst others will gain power over their own future.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Yeah im pretty sure it the Attention deficit disorder that make it hard to pin point

I always like to learn new things, so i read alot. But i rarely go in depth because i get bored very fast.
And its a bit the same with EQ.


Its probably why its very hard to find my calling its like im interested in everything and nothing at the same time.
I've not Google it yet but you'd be an interesting observation for me.

It's not everyday that I'm not able to sussed out a man.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,150
Reaction score
5,056
Age
35
Location
Eye of the storm
You can't find it elsewhere
Are you sure?

because...

It's a mixture of my own experiences - real life interactions coupled with business/leadership psychological analysis to gain an advantage over others (which is learned from many sources).
Because it seems to me like it's been discovered a long ass time ago. It's not identical, but it's not far off.

Here's another more modern version.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,337
Reaction score
6,878
Are you sure?


Because it seems to me like it's been discovered a long ass time ago. It's not identical, but it's not far off.

Here's another more modern version. Pretty much the same except motivator and expressive is basically the same and your theory doesn't have the amiable personality type. The expressive in your theory fits better for the amiable personality type, and the motivator in your theory should really just be called expressive. You got analytical and doer (driver) the exact same though.
I'm pretty sure there's none exactly the same.

Once I've written all you'll come to the conclusion that it's highly different.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top