"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

the ex

blackhatter

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2008
Messages
85
Reaction score
0
So my ex broke things off with me about 2 weeks ago. We'd been seeing each other for 2 years off and on. Her reasoning was "she couldn't put what happened behind her". Aka, she couldn't stand the fact that I ****ed 2 of her friends and she would never get over that. She told me she was just mad at me whenever she was around me because of it.

So I told her thats fine. She said "you aren't mad?" And I said "Nah, I knew this was coming." And that was that.

Since, I've been getting text messages every other night like I miss you, blah, etc, etc.

Taking the advice on this board I kept no contact, because I assumed the breakup was so she could F more guys.

Well I was on my computer yesterday and I noticed that she saved her Facebook password on here. So of course I go snooping around and I find messages from like 3 days ago. Basically she's talking to her best friend saying "I really want him back, I miss him so much." and "I just want him in my life I have feelings for no one else but I just get so mad when I'm around him because of what he did to me." and "I've been trying to see other guys, but no one does it like him." , ETC.

So what the hell do I do? I love the girl, but she's also pulled breaks out of her ass many a time too. I can tell she genuinely loves me, but how do I know she won't get confused again and just take a break..
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Love Ninja

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
45
Reaction score
2
Location
USA
blackhatter said:
So what the hell do I do? I love the girl, but she's also pulled breaks out of her ass many a time too. I can tell she genuinely loves me, but how do I know she won't get confused again and just take a break..
Let's start with this...

What do you want?
 

blackhatter

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2008
Messages
85
Reaction score
0
Love Ninja said:
Let's start with this...

What do you want?
I want to live my life to the fullest and have women as an after thought. I like her company, but I will never let myself get attached again.
 

Love Ninja

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
45
Reaction score
2
Location
USA
blackhatter said:
I want to live my life to the fullest and have women as an after thought. I like her company, but I will never let myself get attached again.
Alrighty! That is awesome and VERY clear!

So... let her do what she does. That's her thing... and be who you are.
Unless you're dishonest with her, I fail to understand what the friction is here.

If she attempts to "win you back" so be it. You might "cave in" but it doesn't seem likely.

In the future you might consider not sleeping with the friends of your girlfriend or reading their private e-mails. I'm not making a moral judgment here, but it's more about you and who you are.

Are those the actions that define man you want to be?

Food for thought.
 

theunflushables

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 28, 2007
Messages
1,104
Reaction score
20
No matter how much she misses you, loves you, etc, etc, she still has resentment for what you did and would be there for really long time. Not to mention she probably will not trust you one bit.

You broke the relationship, it can't be fixed. Learn from this, impove yourself and move on. No sense of trying to put the pieces back together. Its like breaking a very expensive vase. You can try to glue it back together but, it won't look as nice, it won't be as structurally sound and its resale value is nil.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top