"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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'The Don Juan' - Comic Book style!!!!

michaelhctam

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The twilight sky reigns supreme over the landscape, a cascade of red, orange and purple. A large globular orange florescene slowing dying at the far edge of the horizon and disappearing into oblivion.

Michael Tam wakes up with a black eye, amongst the concrete jungle, exhaling a breath of pain, condensing the cold, dry air sorrounding him. He makes an effort to strike a cigerette, strangely already placed in his hands. He takes a drag from his cigerette and savours the almost orgasmic sensation of nicotine. He tries to find another cigerette on his body to feed his addiction, to no avail.

"This is my last cigerette, and it is ashing fast". He checks his wallet for some money....any money.

Empty wallet-A crumpled, blood-stained piece of paper was all that was found in his wallet where the green's should be. A number was written on the piece of paper with the numbers 1-212. The 5th digit, quarter completed, a violent indentation of the paper where the pen tried to write, indicating a struggle.

"Blood?!" hesitant, Michael takes a closer look at the piece of paper, turning it back and forth- nothing, just the errie numbers. A cold sweat, a flood of adrenaline saturates Michael's body in an instant.

"What have I done" as he stared at the skyline with glaring eyes. "I went to club blue last night" flashes of vibrant colours and images floods his memory as he tries to collect the fragments of memories of last night, then suddenly, a dark figure in the realms of his mind slowly walks closer uneveningly and sickly, beckoning for forgivness. His rememberance, interuppted by the obtrusive ring of his cell phone.

The caller ID states.......911.

What you think? :D Want more?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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elmnick

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OK, I offended people sorry

The writings fine, a bit flowery maybe, but its good and interesting. keep it up.
But why is it on this website? we don't need a Don Juan novel do we, at least put it in anything else forum to stop people like me complaining.
 
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j0n024

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I think it is pretty good, you have a a knack for writing and detail....I would like to read more.
 

KarmaSutra

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Youngblood, don't let these tools dismay you from writing or doing whatever you enjoy. I like it. You've set a good pace right off the bat and there is a dangerous subtext. One suggestion is to not focus on the protagonist as a DJ but as a man searching for himself. Don't box your characters in. Instead, give them free reign to roam around your subconscious, you'll be surprised what they do next.

Keep it going.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Axcell

Master Don Juan
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Haha, keep it up. Pretty detailed, as if I am reading an english paper.
 
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