The DJ Bible doesn't work for me

[Shyyhs]

What should I do?

Should I try another forum?

 

[ChrizZ]

What should I do?

Should I try another forum?

what especially doesn't work for you?

 

[Blue Phoenix]

You need awareness to get what´s behind these principles.

 

[BMX]

Read throught the tips found outside of the forums on the main page. That's where I started a long time ago and I applied it in school and public in general. That is how you can gain this awareness that BP speaks of.

 

[splinterkb]

If reading about it wont help you, I suggest you just go out and talk to some girls until you get good at it.

 

[crossboss]

I agree

I used to read and read...it didn't make sense(at least for me doesn't make sense at first). Your thinking skills will improve the more you converse.


Once you have done a lot of approaching...then you can go back to the bible. Try out new things experiment - see what works and what doesn't.

 

[Shyyhs]

The problem I'm having is with cold approaches. It's just getting negatively reinforced.

Like I suck at talking to people, so I go try to talk to a stranger, have a bad interaction, and it's negatively reinforced. And since I have more negatives than positives, I'm left with an overall mental beat down. Even when I do have a positive interaction I can't help but think it's a fluke, with all the other negative ones I have.

 

[Technical1]

The Bible is just a bare bones dating-and-approach protocol with some philosophy thrown in.

More likely than it "not working for you" is you just simply not working, period. Your head is probably in the wrong space. Probably have some self-limiting beliefs and fears stored up, these fears being triggered in social interactions is what kills the fun.

You're not in state enough, if the Bible stuff doesnt work. If you're not in state, nothing really works very well. Conversely, if you're REALLY in state, you can throw away the rulebook and just go for it and have success (others have said). So the question is, why are you not in state?

I would conclude that its inner game thats holding you back.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

It´s not about women, it´s all about you.

Do you think you need a GF to feel happy?

 

[Shyyhs]

No, I don't.

 

[Technical1]

You're obviously terrified of cold approaches and a few mess ups are enough to destroy you. Thats a fragile state your in, and I know exactly what thats like.

There are two ways advocated on this board to remedy this:
1) Do it till you become numb - "Fake it till you make it".
2) Follow the path of self development until you are above feeling bad about rejection, etc.

Im sure youll be able to determine, given time, which path is right for you AND the resources you need to progress down it.

 

[Shyyhs]

I get a severe case of cramps before I goto a mall or anywhere to cold approach, I have diarrhea afterwards.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

That´s a consequence of your fears. I´ve gotta work that out first!

 

[crossboss]

Look

First start approaching people you know.

Then at school approach an older person. Like a professor or teacher, just say for the heck of it something like..."What do you teach?". "I've seen you around."

These things should be easy.

Slowly work into it forget about approaching girls at first.

Once comfortable move a step forward.

 

[DonGorgon]

If you are very ugly and dont have much cash then you are out of luck period.

 

[MikeYikes122]

I get a severe case of cramps before I goto a mall or anywhere to cold approach, I have diarrhea afterwards.

When I was a freshman-sophomore in high school, I would feel the exact same before and after track meets. Eventually, I got over it and went on to run in the state title meet as a senior.

The point is, it's natural to feel anxious and get those kinds of feelings with something that makes you uncomfortable until you do that activity enough to not feel nervous anymore. You can sit around and read the DJ Bible all you want, but in order to internalize what you're reading, you have to get out in the field and force yourself out of your comfort zone. Eventually, your nausea will go away if you keep approaching and practicing. It works that way for anything that makes you nervous.

 

[Shyyhs]

You can sit around and read the DJ Bible all you want

It's not that I'm sitting around reading it, saying "it's not working". I'm going out approaching people(male and female) and I'm ending up having negative interactions over and over and over again. And it's getting to me.

 

[Crazy Asian]

The problem I'm having is with cold approaches. It's just getting negatively reinforced.

Like I suck at talking to people, so I go try to talk to a stranger, have a bad interaction, and it's negatively reinforced. And since I have more negatives than positives, I'm left with an overall mental beat down. Even when I do have a positive interaction I can't help but think it's a fluke, with all the other negative ones I have.

Imagine yourself talking to hot chicks and being really smooth. Think of how they'll laugh as you make jokes or how they'll playfully hit you. This will give you tons of confidence and reassurance.

Also, get a good night's sleep. I always find myself in a much better mood after 8 hours of sleep.

 

[LostAndConfused]

It should be a little bit of experience first THEN Bible. You'll understand what it's saying alot better.

 

[cedd]

you maybe have to solve some "internal issues" before....