Your last sentence makes it sound like we should let the woman take the lead on whether to kiss.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
The decision of whether to escalate: One of many problems us men face
- Thread starter GoodMan32
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
In my early 20s, I remember initiating kissing during dates.
Once I aged, something changed. My 2nd to last date (at 26), the woman was handsy with me during the date (but never kissed me, nor did I try to initiate a kiss).
My most recent date went well (the fact she ended up badgering me multiple times in the coming days about a 2nd date is proof the 1st date went well, even though there was no handsiness). My refusal to initiate a kiss was mainly because I was afraid to scare her away (which, as a prior post delved into, was a silly phobia in retrospect)
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
Some women do take the initiative. Just one example: I was on a Tinder first date. We hopped in an Uber to go to a different venue, and she started rubbing my inner thigh.
Stuff like this certainly happens. But it really should be on the man to initiate.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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Get better at reading social language(verbal & non-verbal), heightening awareness, and correctly reading the temperature in the room. Become solid at these things and you will never ask this again.
You can start by hanging out in more social scenes and observing. Maybe take someone along that is good at this stuff and help point things out.
You can start by hanging out in more social scenes and observing. Maybe take someone along that is good at this stuff and help point things out.
plumber
Master Don Juan
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that is what doc love said. only she knows when the time is right.
for me when the girls interest is high it plays out and she will. I might actually have to do the kiss, but she will make it so clear and setup. a few times if I missed it (because I miss things) she will even tell me...; no problem.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
In that case, on my 2nd to last date, when the broad was acting handsy, perhaps I should have gone for a kiss (The broad was probably setting the stage for me to kiss her, only for me to miss the cue. And unlike in your experience, the broad didn't tell me)
”The hard part? Honey, the hard part was paying for the date. You are not a virgin, you have kiss me within 27 seconds or get f out of my face.”