"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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The Date - What should I have done here

CaConfused

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Met at winebar at 8.

She is showing neutral to positive signals. Either leaning to me or looking straight ahead (we're at a bar, with windows outside.)

She shows me a picture of her passed out on a boat in a bikini with her ass out.. hhmm.

We talk about 50 shades, her one time she had a one-night stand, that she teaches pole dancing.

10pm we roll to a bar.

She is more positive.

I ask to smell her hair. Its ok.

I have a bit of a cough. I explain its non contagious winter asthma.

She says no biggie, she's a nanny, I could sneeze in her throat, she wouldnt get sick. I said dont worry its not contagious.

Back to positive body language. I take a line I learned here "From 1-10 how good of a kisser are you."

SHE REPLIES "I don't kiss on the first date, it's too intimate.'

****. I reply "I didnt say I was going to kiss you. I wanted the score"

She says 7.

So yeah we close the bar down at 1, I walk her to garage. Hug her. She says "have fun in Vegas!" (im going tomorrow. I tell her "Oh I don't need you to say that to have fun in Vegas.."

So --- did I handle this OK to seed a Second Date?

I do think it's weird about the kiss thing, given that even though she's a habitual relationship girl, she wouldn't kiss. MAYBE it's the cough?

On the way home I texted her "Home ok?"

She replied back "Yep. Thanks :)"

Thoughts here?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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pdx1138

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probably shouldn't have asked the kiss thing in hindsight with her IL fluctuating.
I've made similar mistakes and now never ask anything like that, if the opportunity comes
I just take it.

would definitely not have texted her "home ok"

I'd say your chances are 50/50 at this point. You did well on the reply to her not kissing on first date.
 

marmel75

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1) never ask to do anything, just do it.

2) the kiss thing was likely a sh!t test to see if you were a b!itch or would still go for it...you were a b!itch

3) stop making a big deal out of things and apologizing...its a cough, big deal

4) don't text girls to see if they made it home

Don't like ur chances with this one...if you want to kiss her then kiss her, fvck what she says...she would probably love it...women set boundaries, men push boundaries...you didn't push boundaries, therefore she likely sees you as not being a man...

Just my two cents, could be wrong
 

CaConfused

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marmel75 said:
1) never ask to do anything, just do it.

2) the kiss thing was likely a sh!t test to see if you were a b!itch or would still go for it...you were a b!itch

3) stop making a big deal out of things and apologizing...its a cough, big deal

4) don't text girls to see if they made it home

Don't like ur chances with this one...if you want to kiss her then kiss her, fvck what she says...she would probably love it...women set boundaries, men push boundaries...you didn't push boundaries, therefore she likely sees you as not being a man...

Just my two cents, could be wrong
LOL one post for 'good for backing off', another 'for kiss her'.
 

WhitePimp

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CaConfused said:
I ask to smell her hair. Its ok.
Da fvck?

Yeah, never ask to do anything. It's hard to tell based on only your text, but I've never had a second date with a chick that I didn't at least make out with on the first date. I've found that the only way to consistently get second dates nowadays is to push hard for the first bang on the first date...girls have too many options nowadays to wait. Good luck though, go nuts in Vegas and come back acting like a boss.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Renegade357

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That's the first time you went out with this girl? Seems like a long first date to me. I mean it wasn't perfect but I'd say you probably handled it pretty well. Call her back and ask out again next week.
 

dap

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Kind of a lukewarm date. A kiss means success. The only other two outcomes are disaster or "meh"<-- where you're at. She def wants you to be interested if she is showing you pictures of her in a bikini, talking about pole dancing, etc. But not enough interest to kiss. So, a 2nd date could be in the cards. The way to ease into a kiss is with kino, not with words (atleast not without some kino too). I agree with the others that the txt at the end of the night was probs a bad idea. Also, don't apoligize for things (esp stupid **** like a cough).
 

Mike32ct

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No need to ask to kiss. Just brush her hair aside with your fingertips and go for it. I never got into the "smell her" type thing. Some bizarre D a v I d D tip lol.

Her telling you about a ONS is a negative too. They don't usually talk about F-ing other guys when they want you.

It's going to be difficult to re-start things with her after your trip. You can try, but don't get your hopes up. Whenever I had a first date, THEN a business trip or vacation, my date went cold and fell off the map. It breaks whatever momentum I had.

Just get laid in Vegas and roll the dice (pun intended) with her when you get back. Nothing to lose.
 

Harry Wilmington

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My thoughts:

Not all girls who don't kiss on first dates have low interest; some genuinely like to wait because (insert story about the way they were raised).

At the same time, i have yet to go beyond 3 dates or have a long relationship with a girl i haven't kissed by the 2nd date.

At this point, you don't really know. The best way to gauge it: wait til u get back from Vegas to contact her; when you do contact her, call, don't text, and ask her out for a second date. If she says yes, take her out again and make a move; if she gives you an excuse without a counter-offer (i.e. NO in woman speak), throw the number away and start on another chick. Simple stuff.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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marmel75

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Mike32ct said:
No need to ask to kiss. Just brush her hair aside with your fingertips and go for it. I never got into the "smell her" type thing. Some bizarre D a v I d D tip lol.

Her telling you about a ONS is a negative too. They don't usually talk about F-ing other guys when they want you.

It's going to be difficult to re-start things with her after your trip. You can try, but don't get your hopes up. Whenever I had a first date, THEN a business trip or vacation, my date went cold and fell off the map. It breaks whatever momentum I had.

Just get laid in Vegas and roll the dice (pun intended) with her when you get back. Nothing to lose.
Nothing bizarre about smelling at all...it stimulates and excites her subconsciously....in the animal kingdom all males smell the female before mating(smells to see if they are ready for sex), and while we may have intelligence, we are still animals and it still has the same effect...
 
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