nomorebetaBS
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2020
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
- 5
- Age
- 40
Newb here. Lurked a while, might still mostly lurk but my recent experience stung so badly that I was moved to join and share it. I know plenty can be said about it. I've never been a DJ but I have learned enough to at least not ruin the few chances I had in recent years. I wasn't looking at all in that time, so those were my only lays then but at least I didn't screw those up. I've blown too many chances with SMOKING hot women who overtly came onto me. If I gave my history with that I'd be seen as one of the most pathetic cases here. I have even felt suicidal over it at times, but I know that's a sign that I have to fix myself. I'm determined to beat this. I'm 36 and though my best looking years are gone, I know I can still look damn good. I'm far from a DJ and it's time I work on it. I don't need to get THAT many women, but I want the power to create that OPTION. I never want another experience like what I'm about to share, but I know if I don't fix this part of me I will always be at risk of it.
On to the actual story. It'll take several posts. Sorry this is so long but this was the shortest I could make it and include all the critical moments that stuck with me and that I hoped for opinions on. I thank whoever reads this whole post for taking the time, and for any possible insights offered. Behold my cringeyness and slap the sense into me, please...
It had been years since I beta'd like this and I never want to let it happen again (hence the username). Somehow I found myself doing it, unable to stop taking every step I knew was wrong along the way till I drove away maybe the hottest woman I ever had a chance with. Perhaps a 7 by whatever "official" scale for not being in her best shape, but she still shaped out absolutely gorgeously imo. Ticked all my boxes for physical attraction. A personal 9.5 for me but officially a very nice 7-8ish. Literally every inch of her was exactly the way I like, and we did see every inch of each other. Sadly, it wasn't cause we had sex, which leads to the most cringe part of all this- the fact that I couldn't bed her despite how we came in contact and the interactions that led to us meeting. See, we met on an adult website, same as those other lays I mentioned. That's how we saw every inch of each other. For a number of years, I had an exhibitionist streak, an itch I scratched posting on such sites (since I don't agree with actual public exhibitionism). I'm not proud of it but it was fun and got me some lays. She hit ME up because she loved my pics. We chatted a bit there and moved it to email. The chats were intensely sexual. I had her hanging on my every last word (she literally said that exact thing to me) and sending me many pics and videos including from the bathroom at work, in bed, in the shower, pics and videos of her touching herself to my pics and videos, etc. God damn, I HAD this one or so I believed.
We learn we live not too far from each other. I waste no time setting up logistics to meet. We meet, and from here is where it all gets confusing for me. Sometimes with these types of meetups, it goes right to sex. Other times you have to put in the work. I did what worked the times it wasn't instant sex, so based on that and our chats thus far I thought I had it in the bag. We met near where I was staying to walk a dog I was sitting, seemed like a safe first meeting. We walk and talk. It seemed to go well- very good eye contact, had her laughing and fixing her hair a lot (supposedly good signs). She did seem nervous but still receptive and in a good mood. Only tried a bit of kino and didn't steer the conversation sexually, 2 areas where I'm sorely lacking. Didn't really gauge her reaction to the kino, I was just focused on enjoying the time but it wasn't negative at least.
On to the actual story. It'll take several posts. Sorry this is so long but this was the shortest I could make it and include all the critical moments that stuck with me and that I hoped for opinions on. I thank whoever reads this whole post for taking the time, and for any possible insights offered. Behold my cringeyness and slap the sense into me, please...
It had been years since I beta'd like this and I never want to let it happen again (hence the username). Somehow I found myself doing it, unable to stop taking every step I knew was wrong along the way till I drove away maybe the hottest woman I ever had a chance with. Perhaps a 7 by whatever "official" scale for not being in her best shape, but she still shaped out absolutely gorgeously imo. Ticked all my boxes for physical attraction. A personal 9.5 for me but officially a very nice 7-8ish. Literally every inch of her was exactly the way I like, and we did see every inch of each other. Sadly, it wasn't cause we had sex, which leads to the most cringe part of all this- the fact that I couldn't bed her despite how we came in contact and the interactions that led to us meeting. See, we met on an adult website, same as those other lays I mentioned. That's how we saw every inch of each other. For a number of years, I had an exhibitionist streak, an itch I scratched posting on such sites (since I don't agree with actual public exhibitionism). I'm not proud of it but it was fun and got me some lays. She hit ME up because she loved my pics. We chatted a bit there and moved it to email. The chats were intensely sexual. I had her hanging on my every last word (she literally said that exact thing to me) and sending me many pics and videos including from the bathroom at work, in bed, in the shower, pics and videos of her touching herself to my pics and videos, etc. God damn, I HAD this one or so I believed.
We learn we live not too far from each other. I waste no time setting up logistics to meet. We meet, and from here is where it all gets confusing for me. Sometimes with these types of meetups, it goes right to sex. Other times you have to put in the work. I did what worked the times it wasn't instant sex, so based on that and our chats thus far I thought I had it in the bag. We met near where I was staying to walk a dog I was sitting, seemed like a safe first meeting. We walk and talk. It seemed to go well- very good eye contact, had her laughing and fixing her hair a lot (supposedly good signs). She did seem nervous but still receptive and in a good mood. Only tried a bit of kino and didn't steer the conversation sexually, 2 areas where I'm sorely lacking. Didn't really gauge her reaction to the kino, I was just focused on enjoying the time but it wasn't negative at least.
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