"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The coffee date

H

handle

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coffee must be a great date for an adult, it's casual, you're already out in town doing stuff so it's just a bit out of your way, and you can quickly scope out the other person and see if they're dating material.

so, yes, great date.

but I'm in high school. I don't have a car, I'm not busy driving around. It's the winter break. Nobody's that busy on winter break, we're all taking a breather and just relaxing.

So is coffee still a good option? I got this girl's number a few days ago, I'm gonna call her when I'm back in town, and tell her to meet me on a day like... 3-4 days in advance. But for coffee? seems odd.

Is coffee a good route here, or is there something better that's quick and easy for someone my age?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

Chosen1

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handle said:
coffee must be a great date for an adult, it's casual, you're already out in town doing stuff so it's just a bit out of your way, and you can quickly scope out the other person and see if they're dating material.

so, yes, great date.

but I'm in high school. I don't have a car, I'm not busy driving around. It's the winter break. Nobody's that busy on winter break, we're all taking a breather and just relaxing.

So is coffee still a good option? I got this girl's number a few days ago, I'm gonna call her when I'm back in town, and tell her to meet me on a day like... 3-4 days in advance. But for coffee? seems odd.

Is coffee a good route here, or is there something better that's quick and easy for someone my age?
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Well, it depends on yourself and the person. if she is your average highschool girl then no this is not a good idea unless she really really digs you. If she is smarter then your average highschool girl and mature then fine you can b.s with her. If I were you I would throw the whole idea of dating out the window. I will no longer date anyone for now own I will only have fun with a person and chill with them.
 
K

killerasp

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just to throw in my 2 cents:

what do kids in your town/city do for fun? hang out at the mall? watch movies? go to sporting events? whatever you chose to do with her, keep it fun! IMO, that is key. coffee dates are fine but it doesnt work for everyone. my personal thing is to do something fun on the first date. it gives you and your date a chance to get to know each and enjoy something fun. later on, if you want to go to a cafe and get some cake or coco, then go for it, but save this for later on.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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