BPH
Master Don Juan
Did you guys see her on my profile pic on FB?NorwegianDJ said:That asian is CUTE.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Did you guys see her on my profile pic on FB?NorwegianDJ said:That asian is CUTE.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Some pictures she posted I believe.BPH said:Did you guys see her on my profile pic on FB?
Enlighten me famBPH said:I kept doing that fingering trick on redtube and had her top off the entire time.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
PMingNick1886 said:Enlighten me fam
As much as I appreciate your opinion I will risk it to justify this...she claws me, kicks me, punches me, among other things. I have no problem with that. I thought that meant that I could mess with her a little bit as well. The "kick" I administered her was one of the weakest hits I'd ever dealt anyone. Adding to my reasoning was the fact that she was wearing a backpack filled with books on her chest, which was the place I chose to kick her. On camera my kick didn't push her back AT ALL and she walked away with no signs of an injury. She was being a baby and a snitch. I think you're confusing "hitting a girl" with "beating a girl" and if that's your perception, fine. But that is the furthest thing from the truth. And no I didn't "kick" her because she hit my friend, I didn't even know she hit my friend. I was just surprised that she didn't get punished for hitting somebody on camera much harder than I had hit her on camera.Jack Wealthy said:I don't know what you did exactly to get suspended, or why, but t sounds like you were a ****. The way I see it girls are far weaker, smaller, slower and less coordinated then us. They also have less control over there emotions. Since I'm actually a man and not just a **** with a body I can put up with getting hit a couple of times by a girl without having to retaliate at all. Defending yourself, proving a point and being a petty douche are three different things and very often you seem to confuse the first two with the third.
I don't mean to make you all defensive, I'm stating a simple fact. Hitting a girl is like hitting a 12 year old. I'm no saint, maybe in the heat of the moment if a girl hit my eyes/testicles I would hit back without thinking. But if I had 0.1 seconds to register it was a girl in front of me I'd pull it back and do something else. One of the million other options. A bear hug. A tackle. Tripping. Running off. Throwing my shirt at her.
This is another thing that happens: If a girl wrongs my friends, I have no excuse to hit her. I do however have the explicit right to yell at her. A lot.
You should learn this lesson man. When a girl is in front of you, or in your arms, think about how much weaker then you she is. Most likely a girl will never be a viable threat to you, if she somehow becomes one (a weapon, martial arts training) then sure, defend yourself. I would too. but otherwise think, back to yourself 5-6 years ago, think about you now versus you then in a fight. If you can seriously justify that I'm going to stop reading your journal.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Yeah that sucks.BPH said:I thought it was something playful between friends. I "hit" other of my girl friends with the same amount of force and the response is usual a laugh, playful retaliation, or something else along those lines.
Is it me? o.0One of my natural friends tells me I should not go to prom and just try to hang out with HB Kaitlin that next weekend. That's a good idea, I'm just concerned that she wouldn't miss work like she would for prom, and would instead flake.
Actually no, that would be my friend Nick, never practiced pickup or anything. But yes you both had the same opinion.LearningSlowly said:Yeah that sucks.
Is it me? o.0
That's exactly the advice I gave you and I stand by it.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You told me that after I had already started IMing her. I wanted to have a conversation about her not asking me for my sh** all the time.LearningSlowly said:TALK TO YOUR COACH. Why do you insist on acting like the victim all the time? If you understood what he was thinking, you wouldn't feel like a victim. The problem is you don't understand, because you can't TALK TO HIM OPENLY.
Tell him you feel like a bench warmer but you think your play deserves more.
Why didn't you just give Cassidy the homework like I said and not make it tense all the time?
(And don't try to hang out with Kaitlin that day. She's gonna flake. Try again soon.)
I know it's a team sport, but I'm pissed because I don't feel like part of the team. These guys are my friends and I appreciate that, but right now I am a bench warmer for whatever reason.Nick1886 said:To be honest you sound like you're playing for the wrong reasons. Unless you're doing it as a favour to someone remember that your coach isn't biased and if you were better than the starters you'd get played instead. Practice is probably the answer and thinking that you won't bother turning up if you dont get played is the totally wrong attitude and unless you know you're 100% committed dont turn up again. It's a team sport, not an individual one.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.