"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The "Broken Up" Girl

to_quiet

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Hey guys, I'm new on the site, and I'd like to get some opinions on how to approach this woman situation I have going on. I've followed this site for awhile, but don't recall this topic coming up, I hope I'm not wrong.

I was fixed up with a sister of a friend in late march, she was fresh out of a 6 year on/off relationship with a real idiot. He took a pile of money from her, cheated on her and verbally abused her. She is 24 years old, and going for her MBA,and has great goals in her life right now. We've been seeing each other every weekend since then, usually once, but sometimes twice. I normally stay away from the chicks fresh out of a relationship, but this chick has got my guts in a knot. I'm 32, and it's been a while since I've had this feeling. We have great dates, and now she is starting to ask me out once in awhile and plan the day. Which is cool with me, she has good ideas. Now for the question mark: I KNOW this chick is hurt over the ex, so I have been respecting her boundaries, haven't kissed her yet, only a few handholds here and there and that's it. I'm feeling antsy here, and for the first time in a long time, I'm afraid to make that move. Her sister and bro-in-law swear to me that she has absolutely NOT put me in the "just friends" pile of dudes, so at least I have that info to fall back on....and I trust them. I'm currently the only guy she's seeing, I know this for a fact. I'm really digging her, one of the coolest hot chicks I've met since I hit puberty. I'm just a little stumped on how to approach her for a move, I'm never dealt with a really hurt girl this soon out of a relationship, like I said, I stay away from them. But this chick has her head screwed on right, and I'm not sure if she'll tolerate a move out of me, or run into a hole and hide. I'm 90% sure she views me as dating/relationship material, but I'm playing it cool here. Am I screwing up by being patient here? I think she's worth the wait...so I'm sort of walking on eggshells here. Any experience with this type of dating relationship fellas? I'd appreciate any words of wisdom ! I don't need to sleep with this chick now, I can get that elsewhere if I want, but I'd like to get this rolling into something a little more fun and interesting and potentially serious.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Wiesman44

Master Don Juan
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Are you screwing up by being too patient ?

Hell yah. Quit being a pansy. Who cares if she' been in a long relationship. You don't need to be in this kind of a relationship to know what to do. If she is attracted to you, she wants you to kiss her. ENd of story.
 

dankane

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Jun 10, 2006
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In my opinion, you can't care this much. Just do it. Stop thinking about it and take some intiative, if she gets all prissy you just have to not give a ****. That would just be a ridiculous quality. You are questioning yourself, and wether she wants you to make a move or not. But none of those thoughts should matter. The only thing that should matter is you want to kiss her, so kiss her. Whatever happens doesn't matter because you have to have balls. As much as you probably don't want to do this, if making a move on her ruins it, then its ruined. I view it as you being a wussy and not making a move which will make her loose interest. It seems as if you are making her the prize. Have some confidence, she is lucky that you are giving her a chance, you are not lucky that she is giving you one.
 

MrCode

Senior Don Juan
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Jun 1, 2004
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Hello to_quiet,

You are demonstrating many behaviors classically attributed to an AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) and it would do you good to read more of this site, in particular the "DJ Bible", which is linked to below
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