"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Answer

Jerry Maguire

Senior Don Juan
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A lot, if not all of us, registered here because they want an answer.
They want to know how to fill that hole in our lives, that feeling that we are not yet fulfilled, happy, or complete.

The general message regurgitated on here is that of self-improvement, the notion that we must grow every day and attain our goals in order to reach that fulfillment or happiness that we desire.

I have to say that I do not think this is *the answer* that you're looking for. It's the ever growing carrot that is forever dangled in front of our noses.

This came about after I studied the Bhagavad Gita, which I strongly recommend you all to read. I won't go too far in to explaining this book as I do not follow the teachings given, it mearly opened my eyes to different perspectives on the pursuit of fulfillment and how I am not going to be happy with my life even if I reach all my material or interpersonal goals.

I want something more, I think you will too and we probably all will want something more. This is the essence of desire, it is never satisfied. Therefore I doubt we'll ever fully be fulfilled.

I think we need to have a new attitude towards desire.

Not all desire in the philosophical or paradoxical sense: "Desiring to eliminate desire" but in a way that it will help and further us.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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3countriesPlan

Master Don Juan
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I was stuck in that trap before and probobly won't ever really escape it. My only desire is for everything to perfect.. I want to be able to live my life from now to my death without any big setbacks.. basically getting on the subway and taking it all the way to the last stop without it derailing. Back in the days I couldn't get girls, I was trying to catch the "***** line" cause that was my #1 priority... now I'm trying to get on the "career line", not to be confused with the "job line"
 

Jerry Maguire

Senior Don Juan
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lol, I was really tired last night when I wrote that.
It was just a passing thought but worthy of consideration nonetheless.

I think, in this search for a good desire, that perhaps we shouldn't desire outcomes, but a mindset independent of them.

Surprised only to have one response so far.
 
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