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The Abusive Ex Paradigm

TheNewStyle123

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Morning Gentlemen,

I wanted to share an experience from last night and a story this woman told me.

The Background: I matched with this 33 y.o. Dominicana on Bumble last week. We begin talking and I find out she has 2 kids, father has them every other weekend and isn't really in the picture much otherwise. No problem, she is easily one of the hottest plates I have ever attempted to spin and has an AMAZING body. I could care less about her having kids, as I do not plan on meeting them or playing father to anyone else's children (I'm 27 and recently divorced).

She agrees to meet up with me at a local spot for a drink last night after talking back and forth all week. She arrives and looks just as hot as her pictures and is intelligent, sweet, funny, etc. We have a good time, physical contact is made throughout the date, and lots of great conversation. I invite her back to my place to hang out some more and we do. We continue to talk at my place and before she leaves for the night we end up making out.


The Story: While at dinner the topic of her children's father is brought up. You couldn't make this sh!t up if you tried: This guy is 6 years older than her. They met when she was FIFTEEN (which means she was probably 14 haha) and she says they started dating when she was 16. High school sweethearts that continued to date as she attended college. This women claims she was the one who would initiate everything with him. Caring for him, taking care of bills, cooking, buying him things, planning anniversaries/special occasions, etc. Essentially she was this guys mother. While she was busy attending college, beginning her career, and doing all this stuff for him, he continued to take advantage of her and would never do anything for her. Cheated on her with 3 different women over the course of their relationship, engaged and broke up twice, and worked a low-income job while playing video games and ignoring her in his free time (aka huge loser).

Currently, he sees the kids every other weekend (which she pretty much had to beg him to do), and they have been separated for ~2 years. I'm sure this loser does not pay child support either since they were never married and she did not go to court when they separated. She told me in October 2020 he entered her house unannounced because he "wanted to bring some Tylenol to his kid because he was sick", yet it was 3AM. And what, all of a sudden he's father of the year? Come to find out, he still had access to their outdoor camera (which points at the driveway), and he must have seen the neighbors car parked in the driveway - which he confused for another guy's car and came to inspect.

You just have to feel bad for this women. She has been controlled by this guy for the better half of her life, cheats on her multiple times, and still feels like he can show up unannounced - god forbid she is moving on and seeing another guy.


The plan: I absolutely want to f!ck this woman. 9/10 face, 10/10 body, and very easy to talk to (plus I'm a sucker for latina women). I feel like I have a HUGEEE advantage as far as SMV, and the fact she has more baggage than an airport. Based of this story though, do you guys think this is foolish to make this woman a plate? I NEVER plan on meeting her kids, seeing her ex, going to her house, etc. My plan is for our next date to invite her to my place and make us dinner. Maybe something will happen then. She has been shy to go back into the dating scene and it sounds like she has only had 2-3 first dates since her break up - which did not progress. I could tell she was very nervous last night (it was kind of cute).

Thoughts?

Thanks boys.
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
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That's very typical behavior for a latino man. You can probably expect him to get jealous or pull some stupid sh!t on you. There is no way that he's going to leave the picture at any point because she wants him to be a part of her kids' life.

first red flag to look for: Daddy issues. Ask if her dad is in her life and ask to see if she has fond memories of him.
second red flag: He abused her and she put up with it. If this happened, you should probably steer clear of her.

She sounds like she could have been a great woman for a good guy, but she chose to have kids with a waste of space. Don't even begin to think about keeping her as anything other than a plate, don't be capt save-a-ho.
 

TheNewStyle123

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That's very typical behavior for a latino man. You can probably expect him to get jealous or pull some stupid sh!t on you. There is no way that he's going to leave the picture at any point because she wants him to be a part of her kids' life.

first red flag to look for: Daddy issues. Ask if her dad is in her life and ask to see if she has fond memories of him.
second red flag: He abused her and she put up with it. If this happened, you should probably steer clear of her.

She sounds like she could have been a great woman for a good guy, but she chose to have kids with a waste of space. Don't even begin to think about keeping her as anything other than a plate, don't be capt save-a-ho.
You got that right man - father was not in the picture and she never speaks to him. Lives in DR and has like 11 kids..

Also, absolutely NO WAY I would make her more than a plate.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I guess my question based on this interaction and other posts is this.

How do you keep getting women to come back to your place but nothing ever happens and why doesn't it? You say you want to bang this woman but she was alone at your place last night and nothing happened. Never assume you will see a woman again no matter how well a first date went.

You've had a woman over twice for dinner but nothing happened, now this chick and nothing happens...this seems to be a trend of getting them to the front door but not having them walk through it.

Are you not escalating enough? Are they not going for it? Not doing enough push-pull with them?

Just curious because you seem to have no issues getting a woman to come to your place and with me 9.8 times out of 10 I am banging a woman in that situation.
 

Linear

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That's very typical behavior for a latino man. You can probably expect him to get jealous or pull some stupid sh!t on you. There is no way that he's going to leave the picture at any point because she wants him to be a part of her kids' life.

first red flag to look for: Daddy issues. Ask if her dad is in her life and ask to see if she has fond memories of him.
second red flag: He abused her and she put up with it. If this happened, you should probably steer clear of her.

She sounds like she could have been a great woman for a good guy, but she chose to have kids with a waste of space. Don't even begin to think about keeping her as anything other than a plate, don't be capt save-a-ho.
I guess you got the right point in here, especially about the traditional latino man behavior
 

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TheNewStyle123

Don Juan
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I guess my question based on this interaction and other posts is this.

How do you keep getting women to come back to your place but nothing ever happens and why doesn't it? You say you want to bang this woman but she was alone at your place last night and nothing happened. Never assume you will see a woman again no matter how well a first date went.

You've had a woman over twice for dinner but nothing happened, now this chick and nothing happens...this seems to be a trend of getting them to the front door but not having them walk through it.

Are you not escalating enough? Are they not going for it? Not doing enough push-pull with them?

Just curious because you seem to have no issues getting a woman to come to your place and with me 9.8 times out of 10 I am banging a woman in that situation.
I have had 4 girls to my place thus far. 2 ended up in sex on the first date. The one chick I talked about on the other post (friend's co-workers step daughter) is just really shy and said she was on her period last time. This women mentioned above was coming over on our first date and also seemed pretty nervous and prefaced the date with "I can only stay an hour." And after about an hour she did have to leave (maybe to take care of her kids? haha). But she is coming back to my place Friday for dinner - so we'll see man!
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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Morning Gentlemen,

I wanted to share an experience from last night and a story this woman told me.

The Background: I matched with this 33 y.o. Dominicana on Bumble last week. We begin talking and I find out she has 2 kids, father has them every other weekend and isn't really in the picture much otherwise. No problem, she is easily one of the hottest plates I have ever attempted to spin and has an AMAZING body. I could care less about her having kids, as I do not plan on meeting them or playing father to anyone else's children (I'm 27 and recently divorced).

She agrees to meet up with me at a local spot for a drink last night after talking back and forth all week. She arrives and looks just as hot as her pictures and is intelligent, sweet, funny, etc. We have a good time, physical contact is made throughout the date, and lots of great conversation. I invite her back to my place to hang out some more and we do. We continue to talk at my place and before she leaves for the night we end up making out.


The Story: While at dinner the topic of her children's father is brought up. You couldn't make this sh!t up if you tried: This guy is 6 years older than her. They met when she was FIFTEEN (which means she was probably 14 haha) and she says they started dating when she was 16. High school sweethearts that continued to date as she attended college. This women claims she was the one who would initiate everything with him. Caring for him, taking care of bills, cooking, buying him things, planning anniversaries/special occasions, etc. Essentially she was this guys mother. While she was busy attending college, beginning her career, and doing all this stuff for him, he continued to take advantage of her and would never do anything for her. Cheated on her with 3 different women over the course of their relationship, engaged and broke up twice, and worked a low-income job while playing video games and ignoring her in his free time (aka huge loser).

Currently, he sees the kids every other weekend (which she pretty much had to beg him to do), and they have been separated for ~2 years. I'm sure this loser does not pay child support either since they were never married and she did not go to court when they separated. She told me in October 2020 he entered her house unannounced because he "wanted to bring some Tylenol to his kid because he was sick", yet it was 3AM. And what, all of a sudden he's father of the year? Come to find out, he still had access to their outdoor camera (which points at the driveway), and he must have seen the neighbors car parked in the driveway - which he confused for another guy's car and came to inspect.

You just have to feel bad for this women. She has been controlled by this guy for the better half of her life, cheats on her multiple times, and still feels like he can show up unannounced - god forbid she is moving on and seeing another guy.


The plan: I absolutely want to f!ck this woman. 9/10 face, 10/10 body, and very easy to talk to (plus I'm a sucker for latina women). I feel like I have a HUGEEE advantage as far as SMV, and the fact she has more baggage than an airport. Based of this story though, do you guys think this is foolish to make this woman a plate? I NEVER plan on meeting her kids, seeing her ex, going to her house, etc. My plan is for our next date to invite her to my place and make us dinner. Maybe something will happen then. She has been shy to go back into the dating scene and it sounds like she has only had 2-3 first dates since her break up - which did not progress. I could tell she was very nervous last night (it was kind of cute).

Thoughts?

Thanks boys.
It sounds like you listened to her problems and failed to escalate. You're headed for the friend zone, son.
 

TheNewStyle123

Don Juan
Joined
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123
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Don't count your chickens before they hatch is rule #1 before you bang a woman.
No definitely man. I mean that is my ideal scenario - I'm just saying it's not like I just sat there at dinner and listened to her all night with nothing gained. We made out at the end of the night. Kissing is a good sign of escalation to me. If she didn't kiss me I feel like there would be a MUCH slimmer chance of f!cking. But you're right - don't count on anything.
 

BackInTheGame78

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No definitely man. I mean that is my ideal scenario - I'm just saying it's not like I just sat there at dinner and listened to her all night with nothing gained. We made out at the end of the night. Kissing is a good sign of escalation to me. If she didn't kiss me I feel like there would be a MUCH slimmer chance of f!cking. But you're right - don't count on anything.
If she comes back she is basically agreeing to fvck you.
 

Ant92

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Last Mother’s Day I hooked up with a chick and we ended up back at her apartment. When I was getting ready to leave I heard the door start to unlock and when it opened in came her kids dad with her daughter

he had brought her over to surprise her for Mother’s Day.
 

TheNewStyle123

Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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Last Mother’s Day I hooked up with a chick and we ended up back at her apartment. When I was getting ready to leave I heard the door start to unlock and when it opened in came her kids dad with her daughter

he had brought her over to surprise her for Mother’s Day.
JESUS lol talk about f!cking awkward dude. What did you do??
 

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BackInTheGame78

Moderator
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Morning Gentlemen,

I wanted to share an experience from last night and a story this woman told me.

The Background: I matched with this 33 y.o. Dominicana on Bumble last week. We begin talking and I find out she has 2 kids, father has them every other weekend and isn't really in the picture much otherwise. No problem, she is easily one of the hottest plates I have ever attempted to spin and has an AMAZING body. I could care less about her having kids, as I do not plan on meeting them or playing father to anyone else's children (I'm 27 and recently divorced).

She agrees to meet up with me at a local spot for a drink last night after talking back and forth all week. She arrives and looks just as hot as her pictures and is intelligent, sweet, funny, etc. We have a good time, physical contact is made throughout the date, and lots of great conversation. I invite her back to my place to hang out some more and we do. We continue to talk at my place and before she leaves for the night we end up making out.


The Story: While at dinner the topic of her children's father is brought up. You couldn't make this sh!t up if you tried: This guy is 6 years older than her. They met when she was FIFTEEN (which means she was probably 14 haha) and she says they started dating when she was 16. High school sweethearts that continued to date as she attended college. This women claims she was the one who would initiate everything with him. Caring for him, taking care of bills, cooking, buying him things, planning anniversaries/special occasions, etc. Essentially she was this guys mother. While she was busy attending college, beginning her career, and doing all this stuff for him, he continued to take advantage of her and would never do anything for her. Cheated on her with 3 different women over the course of their relationship, engaged and broke up twice, and worked a low-income job while playing video games and ignoring her in his free time (aka huge loser).

Currently, he sees the kids every other weekend (which she pretty much had to beg him to do), and they have been separated for ~2 years. I'm sure this loser does not pay child support either since they were never married and she did not go to court when they separated. She told me in October 2020 he entered her house unannounced because he "wanted to bring some Tylenol to his kid because he was sick", yet it was 3AM. And what, all of a sudden he's father of the year? Come to find out, he still had access to their outdoor camera (which points at the driveway), and he must have seen the neighbors car parked in the driveway - which he confused for another guy's car and came to inspect.

You just have to feel bad for this women. She has been controlled by this guy for the better half of her life, cheats on her multiple times, and still feels like he can show up unannounced - god forbid she is moving on and seeing another guy.


The plan: I absolutely want to f!ck this woman. 9/10 face, 10/10 body, and very easy to talk to (plus I'm a sucker for latina women). I feel like I have a HUGEEE advantage as far as SMV, and the fact she has more baggage than an airport. Based of this story though, do you guys think this is foolish to make this woman a plate? I NEVER plan on meeting her kids, seeing her ex, going to her house, etc. My plan is for our next date to invite her to my place and make us dinner. Maybe something will happen then. She has been shy to go back into the dating scene and it sounds like she has only had 2-3 first dates since her break up - which did not progress. I could tell she was very nervous last night (it was kind of cute).

Thoughts?

Thanks boys.
You should never "make us dinner" she should be actively involved in the process. Chopping stuff, making one thing while you make another etc...it greatly increases their buy in.
 

TheNewStyle123

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
123
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You should never "make us dinner" she should be actively involved in the process. Chopping stuff, making one thing while you make another etc...it greatly increases their buy in.
Good advice man! Tonight I am having a plate come over and SHE is buying all of the ingredients and will be helping me cook. I'm excited.
 
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