"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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That was...embarassing and frightening

CvB

Don Juan
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So I just read Rogerman's thread...my problem is exactly the opposite...

I had a girl over tonight, I met her at a friends party. So we were watching a movie and started making out, kissing. While we were kissing I was getting hard, but then..all of a sudden...I came!

It felt so weird, really came out of nowhere, I felt like the American Pie kid. I don't think she noticed so I excused myself shortly afterwards and cleaned up in the bathroom, but my confidence really took a hit there. I realize now this was the first time I kissed while completely sober so maybe that had something to do with it....man...this is just...unbelievable. What to do when I finally get to f*ck a girl? I'm really worried now....

Anyone else ever had something like this? I don't want this to happen again, guess I'll masturbate beforehand next time or something. Put on a bit looser fitting boxers.... :(
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Lan

Don Juan
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Dude.. umm.. you better look this **** up on google or something to find out what caused this to happen..

--Lan
 

Microphone Fiend

Master Don Juan
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lol, have you had a previous history of being an....er.....premature ejactulater? If not then I wouldn't worry about it too much. I have a friend who has done **** desensitzer, penis enhancing pills, the whole nine yards... and he's still a virgin.... talk about being insecure, lol
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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diablo

Master Don Juan
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Not to rag on you, but I'm assuming from your post that you've never had a serious girlfriend or even a long-term (of over 1 week) love interest... I'm basing this on the comment you'd made regarding how you hadn't ever kissed a girl while you were sober. I'm probably the last person who would ever advocate dropping your standards, but when the person in question is 20 years old and ejaculated from something as innocuous as a kiss, I think that advice is warranted. Not to mention you're from the Netherlands, where anyone with 50 extra euro's can visit the RLD and hook up with a kamer girl!

Look, I've got an idea... and it probably belongs in the Wingman section but here it goes. I'll be in Amsterdam from January 5th, 2005 until January 15th - doing nothing but smoking, drinking, partying, and punting. You are more than welcome to join me for a night or two of partying in the RLD, or perhaps at a priveehouse. Hell, we could even go to Alkmaar and check out the girls there if you'd like. Or, we can go out to a rave and guarantee I can find you an attractive girl with whom you can practice kissing as long as you desire. Just give the word!
 

CvB

Don Juan
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You are right Diablo, never had a girlfriend or LTR, I have kissed about ten times before, so I didn't expect something like this to happen...I'm over the initial shock and she's coming here again friday, so I'll keep you guys posted how it went ;)

Your offer to hang out sounds really cool, I'd like to meet someone from another country like you and especially in Amsterdam we'll have no problem having a good time! I'll contact you to work out some details.
 
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