"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Texting

MikeEdward1973

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Sorry for the flurry of threads, but I just found this board, and I have all these questions I'm trying to get out of my system.

Do you guys use text-messaging as a follow-up after a 1st date (I'm all about improving my game during and after 1st dates). Or does it not matter how you follow up, since if they're interested, they'll pretty much respond to anything?

right now, I call 2-3 days later, leave a message, and then if I don't hear anything, I'll shoot them a text.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bible_Belt

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Texting is for girls. It is best avoided. I will tolerate receiving a booty call text, but I will not text a girl first, or engage in a text convo. Texting is not the type of dominant guy behavior that women find attractive.
 

MikeEdward1973

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Bible_Belt said:
Texting is for girls. It is best avoided. I will tolerate receiving a booty call text, but I will not text a girl first, or engage in a text convo. Texting is not the type of dominant guy behavior that women find attractive.
Ok, I will take that to heart. And to think that I was thinking about getting a T-Mobile Sidekick since it's so good for texting. :yes:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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MikeEdward1973 said:
Ok, I will take that to heart. And to think that I was thinking about getting a T-Mobile Sidekick since it's so good for texting. :yes:
I think that you can actually use those things to make phone calls too! :yes:
 

MikeEdward1973

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I think that you can actually use those things to make phone calls too! :yes:
Yeah, but my current phone already does that. Which I'll be using for phone calls, not texting. Since I hear that's how the natives used to do it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bible_Belt

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ok, I see what you mean. You are right that I was not considering the perspective of hearing-impaired people. If texting works for you, then I am all for it. But I still say to keep it at an absolute minimum, and as you say, not do it to make conversation. Most guys will text because they are scared of calling.

fwiw, I about to call a girl right now, and it would be a lot easier to just send her a text, but I'm not going to take the easy way out. Most guys use texting as a crutch and a way to protect themselves from rejection.
 

mintxx

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Not sure how it's generally regarded but the girl I'm seeing, whom I never text unless it's some smutty innuendo designed to make her moist, says that she likes how I just call her when I want to speak to her, and that it's very confident. I never call her twice and if she doesn't answer, I sometimes leave a voicemail and sometimes don't. As a result she now always answers her phone, since I call rarely. Texts are useful, but if it's practical/possible to call, it's far better to call IMO.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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eyedogg

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mintxx said:
Not sure how it's generally regarded but the girl I'm seeing, whom I never text unless it's some smutty innuendo designed to make her moist, says that she likes how I just call her when I want to speak to her, and that it's very confident. I never call her twice and if she doesn't answer, I sometimes leave a voicemail and sometimes don't. As a result she now always answers her phone, since I call rarely. Texts are useful, but if it's practical/possible to call, it's far better to call IMO.

D I T T O !!!!!!!!!!!!

Excatly my use and thoughts on this...
 

amoka

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Text messaging is not all that bad. It is best to text message when you first receive the number of a girl, particular at the club.
 

drmeathead

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i use texting when i dont want to talk about silly random ****. like hearing about her day or any of that side chatter that comes with talking to a female for more than 30 seconds on a personal matter. i odnt think it is wuss move unless you are using it for wuss reasons. maybe some of you macho men want to hear about whether she didnt know whether to wear her blue sweater or it just wasnt that cold so she could get by with a light jacket...
 

STR8UP

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Texting is simply another means of communication.

Just the same as you wouldn't use a screwdriver to drive a nail, you don't use texting for "conversations".

Don't you just love these chicks who buy these phones that are basically text machines?

I was dating this chick for awhile and she would have these play by play text convos with her friend. I'm talking start at 8, end at 1am. That's ridiculous.

But a quick text here and there, no big deal. Matter of fact, it can be a time saver.
 

Chrispy

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Treat texting like email. Write properly, have a point to it, and keep it short and sweet. Use it for what it is: short thoughts/messages. The AFC comment would be more to anyone over-using it...on the same girl...and still not getting her digits!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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