Texting (Why You Shouldn't)

[zekko]

I knew a guy who used.to text pretty much every girl he knew "So when we gonna fvck?". He banged a lot of them too.

 

[Tenacity]

These tips and tactics do little, if sometimes anything, to actually increase attraction. They are simply guidelines on how to avoid bad behavior that decreases attraction. So in essence, what a lot of guys are doing is simply maintaining that mild interest level, rather than f*cking up and watching that IL take a nose dive.

For example, a needy man who constantly texts a mildly interested woman is going to eventually turn her into a woman uninterested. For him, minimizing texting is a way to prevent the kind of behavior that decreases IL. But this doesn't mean a woman is suddenly going to go from mildly attracted to highly attracted in him simply because he only texted her once or twice, which is the point I'm trying to make. Texting isn't the problem here. It's the guy. He needs to reign it in because of other issues (such as neediness).

This is why I don't agree that texting is something you should minimize or just never do. It's a blanket statement that isn't true for some men who don't have those other issues that these rules were devised to handle. It's almost like telling a professional swimmer he should never go into the water without his water wings just because that's excellent, solid advice for a young child.

I'm not saying the OPs suggestion is bad advice. I'm just saying it's not something that must always be followed as it was presented.

Good point but another thing to understand is that a "mildly interested or lowly interested" woman is going to be that way no matter WHAT you do, and trying to do ANYTHING to increase said interest is a losing effort because you honestly don't know what's causing her to be "mildly or lowly interested".

- She could prefer guys who are over 6 feet tall and you're 5'9. Which means there's nothing you can do about that.
- She could prefer black guys and you're white, which means there's nothing you can do about that.
- She could prefer white guys and you're black, which means there's nothing you can do about that.
- She could feel as though you making $100,000 a year isn't enough, she prefers guys who make $1 million plus.

What I think guys need to understand is we are dealing with a massive NUMBERS GAME. I've said it before:

- You approach 20 women

- You get 12 numbers

- You get 6 dates

- You fvck 3 of 6 dates

- 1 of the 3 women you fvck, could be a potential relationship partner

Of the 12 numbers you got, why did only 6 turn into dates? Was it because you texted too much, texted too little, didn't text right, had too deep of a voice on the phone, had too high pitch of a voice on the phone, said something on the phone or through text that pissed her off, etc., etc., etc.?? WHO KNOWS.

Of the 6 dates, why did only 3 fvck? Was it because you were too tall, too short, made too much money, didn't make enough money, had a nice car, didn't have a nice car, smelled too good, didn't smell good, she thought you were a player, she thought you were a AFC, she thought you were too confident, she thought you weren't confident enough, etc., etc., etc.?? WHO KNOWS.

In a quest to avoid rejection, we sit here and discuss dumb shyt about "should I text or should I not text?" Instead of providing that much analyzation, just focus on the meeting a LOT of women and playing the numbers game.

I hate to break it to you, but no matter HOW attractive you are and HOW attractive you become...you are STILL going to get fvcking rejected.

 

[bigneil]

- You approach 20 women

- You get 12 numbers

- You get 6 dates

- You fvck 3 of 6 dates
.

These might be your numbers, but members should note that the average for a successful seducer (according to Louis/Copeland 2000):

* You get a date with 1 in 10 women you ask out.
* You have sex with 1 in 4 women who you date.
* You have sex with 1 in 40 women you ask out (not 6/40 like da).

 

[Herb]

**** that, that sounds exhausting. How do you people do it? I guess you get into the groove where you can just effortlessly approach mass quantities of women and it's simply a numbers game.

If you're not that kind of person, is hope gone in today's world?

 

[Tenacity]

**** that, that sounds exhausting. How do you people do it? I guess you get into the groove where you can just effortlessly approach mass quantities of women and it's simply a numbers game.

If you're not that kind of person, is hope gone in today's world?

Sir, HOPE was gone before we were born (if you are under 40). There's no HOPE, all you have left is sex and companionship on a temporary basis.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I agree with this philosophy, but try land lines.

Who has land lines any more?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

**** that, that sounds exhausting. How do you people do it? I guess you get into the groove where you can just effortlessly approach mass quantities of women and it's simply a numbers game.

If you're not that kind of person, is hope gone in today's world?

I think men tend to make too much out of the recent developments in social conditions of late. Perhaps that's because we ourselves have been overly 'socialized' and lost the natural way in which the sexes have always interacted.

I mean, when you are simply open and responsive to a woman who shows interest, you are going to be 'approaching' a lot of women.

 

[bigneil]

Who has land lines any more?

I have one for my home office. I refuse to talk business on a cell phone.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The point that escapes you is that a guy who has a great social life with a lot of women (instead of wasting all your time learning game, go out, network, and accumulate abundance) does not have to worry about these things.
.

Your advice is like this: be great with women, and you will be great with women.

I doubt the guys that are great with women would be coming to a forum looking for advice, and the guys that are looking for advice are not looking for this tautology.

 

[Solomon]

Have you ever met with a woman for the first time on a first date, walked right up to her and the two of you just started kissing passionately before you even said "hello" to each other?

When texting is done a certain way, it can have effects similar to alcohol. It can break down inhibitions during the date before the actual date occurs, which can drastically speed up physical escalation to a point that you are actually expected to pull off the above scenario.

I don't know what everyone else experiences out there, but in my experience, I have found that women usually tend to be less inhibitive through texting. There's something about the lack of presence, the space, the barrier and distance in between, that entices a person to be a little more bold than they would otherwise be in person, or even on the phone.

I have slowly escalated flirting via texts, starting with something simple and innocent all the way to the extent that we're talking about preferred sexual positions, things that turn us on, kinky sh*t, what we're going to do to each other, etc. Once you get women to that point, a woman will eventually realize that when you two finally meet in the flesh, things will be extremely awkward if you DONT break the ice by immediately kissing her. Women know this so well that I have actually told them beforehand that I was going to kiss them as soon as we meet just so things won't be awkward. They have always agreed it's a good idea.

So, yeah, silence can make your attention seem more scarce and more valuable, increasing your value in some way. But it's limited, in my opinion. Silence is not going to wind up a woman to the point she wants you to stick your tongue down her throat before the "hello".

There's more than one way to skin a cat, as they say......

Some ways are better than others.

So much this, the fact that this thread is being argued in 2017 is a joke.

The truth is while texting may be a Buffer, if you know how to utilize properly you can skip steps

Here are a couple stories

Girl#1--We texted for a bit, she send me nudes, I knew she was DTF as soon as she walked in, amazing blow job

Girl#2--We never talk on the phone, just text, and even when we text is to make plans for when she comes over.
she comes over and we have fun she has been a plate now for 3 months

Girl#3 Never talked on the phone just text, went on a drink date on tinder and banged her after

At the end of the day a couple text messages while im living my life doing my thing, don't hurt the point of these stories are to show that who gives a shyt

dio what works for you, and if texting works why not do it?

 

[Solomon]

Your advice is like this: be great with women, and you will be great with women.

I doubt the guys that are great with women would be coming to a forum looking for advice, and the guys that are looking for advice are not looking for this tautology.

agreed most guys that become great with women leave the site, or they fall of the wagon and come back again (like myself)

While I agree that social circle is the ultimate form of funneling hot chicks I'm very skeptical of guys like big neil and others who talk all this big talk but have no receipts to back it up

anyone can post a picture of a hot chick....it's not hard to do....I use to do that in my field reports heh

 

[EyeBRollin]

Have you ever met with a woman for the first time on a first date, walked right up to her and the two of you just started kissing passionately before you even said "hello" to each other?

No.

When texting is done a certain way, it can have effects similar to alcohol. It can break down inhibitions during the date before the actual date occurs, which can drastically speed up physical escalation to a point that you are actually expected to pull off the above scenario.

I don't know what everyone else experiences out there, but in my experience, I have found that women usually tend to be less inhibitive through texting. There's something about the lack of presence, the space, the barrier and distance in between, that entices a person to be a little more bold than they would otherwise be in person, or even on the phone.

I have slowly escalated flirting via texts, starting with something simple and innocent all the way to the extent that we're talking about preferred sexual positions, things that turn us on, kinky sh*t, what we're going to do to each other, etc. Once you get women to that point, a woman will eventually realize that when you two finally meet in the flesh, things will be extremely awkward if you DONT break the ice by immediately kissing her. Women know this so well that I have actually told them beforehand that I was going to kiss them as soon as we meet just so things won't be awkward. They have always agreed it's a good idea.

So, yeah, silence can make your attention seem more scarce and more valuable, increasing your value in some way. But it's limited, in my opinion. Silence is not going to wind up a woman to the point she wants you to stick your tongue down her throat before the "hello".

Correct, silence won't drop the panties before the first couple of dates.

But my last lay yesterday was a chick I ****ed three weeks ago. She called me out of the blue because she "hadn't heard from me." She came over, we shared a glass of wine, and were naked with an hour.

I get these "hey stranger" texts about twice a week, all from current or former plates that "miss me."

 

[EyeBRollin]

The truth is while texting may be a Buffer, if you know how to utilize properly you can skip steps

Why am I skipping steps? If a woman has high interest in me, we are going to ****. My closing rate is quite high. It's more of a question of when we ****. I'm not in a rush like most men. She'll either see me now or see me later. There is no need to speed up the process.

**** that, that sounds exhausting. How do you people do it? I guess you get into the groove where you can just effortlessly approach mass quantities of women and it's simply a numbers game.

If you're not that kind of person, is hope gone in today's world?

You have to enjoy it. I love approaching women, priming them, dining them, then closing them at my place a few weeks later. It's a hunt, and I'm a hunter.

 

[EyeBRollin]

you asked why I would even bother to try and get a girl who didn't give me the time of day, and I gave you the special circumstances (huge breasts on a skinny girl), my original claim was that she barely wanted to talk to me irl but over text I got her to go out with me, which flies directly in the face of your claim that you shouldn't ever text and that you can't get girls that way and that irl is always better and the only thing that counts. do you have any response?

That is what you're telling yourself. The truth is, she went out with you because her other options fell through. How else can a beautiful woman with low interest level suddenly see the light?

Hopefully you made a good sell in person. Did you get another date?

 

[zekko]

Your advice is like this: be great with women, and you will be great with women.

I think what he was saying was never mind the tactics so much, go out and build up your social skills and opportunities.

One thing I've always thought about this place, I can see some new guy coming here complaining "I can't find a girl", and he gets told "go find five girls". I'm sure he thinks "I can't find one girl, how am I supposed to find five?".

 

[devilkingx2]

That is what you're telling yourself. The truth is, she went out with you because her other options fell through. How else can a beautiful woman with low interest level suddenly see the light?

Hopefully you made a good sell in person. Did you get another date?

to be fair, she had a boyfriend for like 90% of the time I knew her, and we started texting after she had been single for a couple of months. (I didn't know she was single when I started texting her though)

anyway, the date went pretty well, got the kiss and the second date, then things fell through, you know how they say not to text the girl anymore once you've setup the date? well... she wasn't thrilled about that and blew off the second date so I stopped talking to her. (sequence of events was us agreeing on the date, me not talking to her for a few days, her suddenly being mad at me, then telling me she couldn't make it anymore.)

the lesson I learned from that was that life is suffering for a man who likes big boobs.

 

[EyeBRollin]

to be fair, she had a boyfriend for like 90% of the time I knew her, and we started texting after she had been single for a couple of months. (I didn't know she was single when I started texting her though)

anyway, the date went pretty well, got the kiss and the second date, then things fell through, you know how they say not to text the girl anymore once you've setup the date? well... she wasn't thrilled about that and blew off the second date so I stopped talking to her. (sequence of events was us agreeing on the date, me not talking to her for a few days, her suddenly being mad at me, then telling me she couldn't make it anymore.)

the lesson I learned from that was that life is suffering for a man who likes big boobs.

Here in lies your problem. This is exactly why I made the thread, and why I tell men to not text.

YOU established the pattern of texting her. She saw through your bull**** when you decided to change things up and stop texting her. You trained her that you were a texter. Now she thinks you're playing games.

The other important point is there is no way of knowing whether she would have gone out with you, regardless of you texting her or not texting her. That's what she said, but women seldom mean what they say directly. She may have sensed you were up to something, thus canceling the date. Or.... she may not have ever intended to go out with you. You have no way of knowing. Bottom line, she cancelled the date because she had low interest level. The same thing she had before.

Like I said, I'm not really disagreeing with any of your points. I sometimes do these same things myself when I feel they are called for. But I also know there are ways to utilize texting that can work to build attraction and speed up escalation, and for that reason, I don't really subscribe to the idea that texting should always be minimized (which I'm assuming is the intended message of this thread).

The story above is exactly my point. You cannot change things up. You become disingenuous. Women see through it. Hence, why it's best not to get in the habit of texting her.

These tips and tactics can help guys who are making mistakes, but IMO, knowing how to avoid blowing yourself out does not equate to increasing attraction or IL. They are often two different things.

It has everything to do with attraction. Women either like you or they don't from the start. You simply increase or decrease her attraction to you. Not blowing yourself out will increase her attraction.

 

[devilkingx2]

Here in lies your problem. This is exactly why I made the thread, and why I tell men to not text.

YOU established the pattern of texting her. She saw through your bull**** when you decided to change things up and stop texting her. You trained her that you were a texter. Now she thinks you're playing games.

...I never thought of it like that, I always just assumed that not texting girls once she agrees to the date was bull**** bad advice. well i certainly think this was a very productive conversation. thanks OP

 

[EyeBRollin]

...I never thought of it like that, I always just assumed that not texting girls once she agrees to the date was bull**** bad advice. well i certainly think this was a very productive conversation. thanks OP

You're welcome. Thank you for being civil. I apologize if it comes off harsh. We're all on the same team.

Not texting is something that has to be established from the beginning, otherwise it comes off as not being sincere. If you don't text, she just assumes you don't like texting. You never have to go "no contact." She'll reach out to you if she likes you enough, so it doubles as a filter to screen low interest chicks. I didn't invent this; it is standard Doc Love and Anti-Dump, and the people who ripped from them (i.e. Corey Wayne).

The downside is what you and @Amante Silvestre mentioned, there is no streamlining the process. But this is why patience wins with women in the long run.

 

[lizardking82]

Here in lies your problem. This is exactly why I made the thread, and why I tell men to not text.

YOU established the pattern of texting her. She saw through your bull**** when you decided to change things up and stop texting her. You trained her that you were a texter. Now she thinks you're playing games.

The other important point is there is no way of knowing whether she would have gone out with you, regardless of you texting her or not texting her. That's what she said, but women seldom mean what they say directly. She may have sensed you were up to something, thus canceling the date. Or.... she may not have ever intended to go out with you. You have no way of knowing. Bottom line, she cancelled the date because she had low interest level. The same thing she had before.



The story above is exactly my point. You cannot change things up. You become disingenuous. Women see through it. Hence, why it's best not to get in the habit of texting her.



It has everything to do with attraction. Women either like you or they don't from the start. You simply increase or decrease her attraction to you. Not blowing yourself out will increase her attraction.

I get the point you're trynna make, but this is not so black and white. Interest level itself is rarely a black and white kinda thing. Her interest level on him is something that relies on a couple of different factors and some of those factors are completely out of the control of the @devilkingx2 . Her boyfriend could be back in the picture, she might have had a nervous breakdown and while two nights ago, what she was gonna do with him FELT like a good idea, the night of the second date, it didn't. These things are out of anyone's control regardless if you been texting a lot or a little.

I have had the best stories of my life up to now in all aspects start off from texting and texting quite a lot, even sexting in most cases. If done right, I think texting can help your cause. The women who find you mentally captivating are some of the best women you gonna find and how are they gonna find you mentally captivating when they don't know you at all and when you don't text at all? Are they supposed to somehow know what you think about things?