Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,201
- Reaction score
- 204
Hey all:
I just wanted to post up this little note about texting. Guys seem to believe they have a better chance with a girl if they text her all the time with funny comments, or to find out how she's doing, what she's up to, letting her know he's thinking about her...
Frankly, it makes my stomach sick.
Men, take notice: every time you initiate a text with a girl you just met, you are KILLING your chances of being with her long-term (or even short-term).
Here's an example I like to use: a girl meets 2 guys, Guy A and Guy B. At the moment, she likes both guys equally, and gives both guys her number.
Guy A decides to text her right away, thinking to himself: "Oh boy, if I text her right now, she'll know that I REALLY like her, and I'm not into game playing!" He gets a text back from her a few minutes later, and now feels as though he's got a lead over Guy B.
He asks her out for a date on Thursday, and she says yes to it. Today is Monday. For the next 3 days, Guy A is texting her all the time for... well, really no reason at all, other than to build up her interest in him. He ask her about her day, her life, who her best friends are, what her hopes and dreams are... blah blah blah.
Each day, he spends about 3 or 4 hours texting this girl. On Monday, he's getting constant text back from her, almost as soon as he sends them. On Tuesday, she's still responding, but the response time is not as quick as it was on Monday. On Wednesday, she's responding to his text every 20 to 30 minutes.
Then, the inevitable happens: fearing he may be losing her (even though they haven't gone out yet), he decides to send her a joke or some kind of funny sentence - something like "wow, you didn't respond right away. Must be that time of the month, lol, jk!" She takes it offensively (unbeknownst to him) and stops responding to his text.
He can't understand what he did, or why she's not talking to him all of a sudden. So, he starts sending her a barrage of text messages apologizing, saying he's sorry... but it's too late. She's no longer interested in seeing him, and their Thursday date is no longer happening....
But wait, what about Guy B? He got her number on Monday as well, then didn't text her or call her for 3 days!
During the time she was hearing from Guy A, the girl kept thinking, "When is Guy B going to call me? Guy A's hitting me up all the time, so I know I'm attractive... did he lose interest in me? Oh man, I bet he would've been such a great guy to go out with... maybe he met someone else? Oh man, i hope not, I hope he calls me... he better not be playing games with me... or is he? Ugh, I don't know!! I'd better call one of my girlfriends and ask her about this..."
And so, the girl calls up one of her girlfriends and they have a 3-hour conversation about whether or not Guy B likes her. (And yes - I live with a girl at the moment, so these conversations ACTUALLY happen.) What's this doing? Making the girl talk about Guy B... WITHOUT HIM HAVING TO DO ANY WORK!!
Finally, on the day she was supposed to go out with Guy A, Guy B calls her up. She dang near jumps at the phone when she sees his number and answers. "Hey, fancy hearing from you, I didn't know if you were going to call!"
Guy B plays it cool: "Oh, of course I was, hope you've had a good week so far. Hey, what's say you and I go on a date Sunday night?"
The girl is ECSTATIC. She agrees and they arrange a time to meet. Before he hangs up, she says to him:
"And hey, if you want to text me or call me before then, that's cool..."
But Guy B is smart. Because Guy B has been Guy A before, and he knows what will happen if he sends ANY text before the actual date: he'll tell her too much about himself or accidentally say something to upset her. More importantly, though, if he spends the next 3 days texting her, he'll have NOTHING TO TALK TO HER ABOUT ON THE DATE.
So, instead, he says: "I'll keep it in mind, but I much prefer to keep my conversations in person. That way, there's no miscommunication. Plus, I'd much rather hear your pretty voice than just seeing a text. (Yes, I've said this before; yes, it works.) See you Sunday!"
The result: girl hangs up phone on cloud 9, anxiously waiting for Sunday to come.
---
My point is simply this: until you're regularly seeing a girl (i.e. made her your girlfriend, or at the very least a regular FB), your constant texting is NOT helping your cause. A woman you've just met hasn't earned the right to hear from you every day. Every moment you spend texting her is a nail in the coffin of you ever getting with her.
Oh, and I know what you're thinking: every girl you know has told you how much they like to get texts from a guy. Of course they do - girls naturally like attention 'cause it feeds their ego.
However, it's NOT what they need to be getting from a guy they just met. The less you're around a girl in the beginning, the more time she has to build up in her mind how GREAT you are, even if you're NOT that great.
When you text her, you're cutting down the time she needs to THINK about you to the point of greatness, and you're also INCREASING the likelihood of saying something that will mess up your chances with her.
Keep it simple: use the phone only for setting up dates, and do your macking in PERSON, not via text or messages.
I just wanted to post up this little note about texting. Guys seem to believe they have a better chance with a girl if they text her all the time with funny comments, or to find out how she's doing, what she's up to, letting her know he's thinking about her...
Frankly, it makes my stomach sick.
Men, take notice: every time you initiate a text with a girl you just met, you are KILLING your chances of being with her long-term (or even short-term).
Here's an example I like to use: a girl meets 2 guys, Guy A and Guy B. At the moment, she likes both guys equally, and gives both guys her number.
Guy A decides to text her right away, thinking to himself: "Oh boy, if I text her right now, she'll know that I REALLY like her, and I'm not into game playing!" He gets a text back from her a few minutes later, and now feels as though he's got a lead over Guy B.
He asks her out for a date on Thursday, and she says yes to it. Today is Monday. For the next 3 days, Guy A is texting her all the time for... well, really no reason at all, other than to build up her interest in him. He ask her about her day, her life, who her best friends are, what her hopes and dreams are... blah blah blah.
Each day, he spends about 3 or 4 hours texting this girl. On Monday, he's getting constant text back from her, almost as soon as he sends them. On Tuesday, she's still responding, but the response time is not as quick as it was on Monday. On Wednesday, she's responding to his text every 20 to 30 minutes.
Then, the inevitable happens: fearing he may be losing her (even though they haven't gone out yet), he decides to send her a joke or some kind of funny sentence - something like "wow, you didn't respond right away. Must be that time of the month, lol, jk!" She takes it offensively (unbeknownst to him) and stops responding to his text.
He can't understand what he did, or why she's not talking to him all of a sudden. So, he starts sending her a barrage of text messages apologizing, saying he's sorry... but it's too late. She's no longer interested in seeing him, and their Thursday date is no longer happening....
But wait, what about Guy B? He got her number on Monday as well, then didn't text her or call her for 3 days!
During the time she was hearing from Guy A, the girl kept thinking, "When is Guy B going to call me? Guy A's hitting me up all the time, so I know I'm attractive... did he lose interest in me? Oh man, I bet he would've been such a great guy to go out with... maybe he met someone else? Oh man, i hope not, I hope he calls me... he better not be playing games with me... or is he? Ugh, I don't know!! I'd better call one of my girlfriends and ask her about this..."
And so, the girl calls up one of her girlfriends and they have a 3-hour conversation about whether or not Guy B likes her. (And yes - I live with a girl at the moment, so these conversations ACTUALLY happen.) What's this doing? Making the girl talk about Guy B... WITHOUT HIM HAVING TO DO ANY WORK!!
Finally, on the day she was supposed to go out with Guy A, Guy B calls her up. She dang near jumps at the phone when she sees his number and answers. "Hey, fancy hearing from you, I didn't know if you were going to call!"
Guy B plays it cool: "Oh, of course I was, hope you've had a good week so far. Hey, what's say you and I go on a date Sunday night?"
The girl is ECSTATIC. She agrees and they arrange a time to meet. Before he hangs up, she says to him:
"And hey, if you want to text me or call me before then, that's cool..."
But Guy B is smart. Because Guy B has been Guy A before, and he knows what will happen if he sends ANY text before the actual date: he'll tell her too much about himself or accidentally say something to upset her. More importantly, though, if he spends the next 3 days texting her, he'll have NOTHING TO TALK TO HER ABOUT ON THE DATE.
So, instead, he says: "I'll keep it in mind, but I much prefer to keep my conversations in person. That way, there's no miscommunication. Plus, I'd much rather hear your pretty voice than just seeing a text. (Yes, I've said this before; yes, it works.) See you Sunday!"
The result: girl hangs up phone on cloud 9, anxiously waiting for Sunday to come.
---
My point is simply this: until you're regularly seeing a girl (i.e. made her your girlfriend, or at the very least a regular FB), your constant texting is NOT helping your cause. A woman you've just met hasn't earned the right to hear from you every day. Every moment you spend texting her is a nail in the coffin of you ever getting with her.
Oh, and I know what you're thinking: every girl you know has told you how much they like to get texts from a guy. Of course they do - girls naturally like attention 'cause it feeds their ego.
However, it's NOT what they need to be getting from a guy they just met. The less you're around a girl in the beginning, the more time she has to build up in her mind how GREAT you are, even if you're NOT that great.
When you text her, you're cutting down the time she needs to THINK about you to the point of greatness, and you're also INCREASING the likelihood of saying something that will mess up your chances with her.
Keep it simple: use the phone only for setting up dates, and do your macking in PERSON, not via text or messages.
