Texting is KILLING Your Chances With Her

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey all:

I just wanted to post up this little note about texting. Guys seem to believe they have a better chance with a girl if they text her all the time with funny comments, or to find out how she's doing, what she's up to, letting her know he's thinking about her...

Frankly, it makes my stomach sick.

Men, take notice: every time you initiate a text with a girl you just met, you are KILLING your chances of being with her long-term (or even short-term).

Here's an example I like to use: a girl meets 2 guys, Guy A and Guy B. At the moment, she likes both guys equally, and gives both guys her number.

Guy A decides to text her right away, thinking to himself: "Oh boy, if I text her right now, she'll know that I REALLY like her, and I'm not into game playing!" He gets a text back from her a few minutes later, and now feels as though he's got a lead over Guy B.

He asks her out for a date on Thursday, and she says yes to it. Today is Monday. For the next 3 days, Guy A is texting her all the time for... well, really no reason at all, other than to build up her interest in him. He ask her about her day, her life, who her best friends are, what her hopes and dreams are... blah blah blah.

Each day, he spends about 3 or 4 hours texting this girl. On Monday, he's getting constant text back from her, almost as soon as he sends them. On Tuesday, she's still responding, but the response time is not as quick as it was on Monday. On Wednesday, she's responding to his text every 20 to 30 minutes.

Then, the inevitable happens: fearing he may be losing her (even though they haven't gone out yet), he decides to send her a joke or some kind of funny sentence - something like "wow, you didn't respond right away. Must be that time of the month, lol, jk!" She takes it offensively (unbeknownst to him) and stops responding to his text.

He can't understand what he did, or why she's not talking to him all of a sudden. So, he starts sending her a barrage of text messages apologizing, saying he's sorry... but it's too late. She's no longer interested in seeing him, and their Thursday date is no longer happening....

But wait, what about Guy B? He got her number on Monday as well, then didn't text her or call her for 3 days!

During the time she was hearing from Guy A, the girl kept thinking, "When is Guy B going to call me? Guy A's hitting me up all the time, so I know I'm attractive... did he lose interest in me? Oh man, I bet he would've been such a great guy to go out with... maybe he met someone else? Oh man, i hope not, I hope he calls me... he better not be playing games with me... or is he? Ugh, I don't know!! I'd better call one of my girlfriends and ask her about this..."

And so, the girl calls up one of her girlfriends and they have a 3-hour conversation about whether or not Guy B likes her. (And yes - I live with a girl at the moment, so these conversations ACTUALLY happen.) What's this doing? Making the girl talk about Guy B... WITHOUT HIM HAVING TO DO ANY WORK!!

Finally, on the day she was supposed to go out with Guy A, Guy B calls her up. She dang near jumps at the phone when she sees his number and answers. "Hey, fancy hearing from you, I didn't know if you were going to call!"

Guy B plays it cool: "Oh, of course I was, hope you've had a good week so far. Hey, what's say you and I go on a date Sunday night?"

The girl is ECSTATIC. She agrees and they arrange a time to meet. Before he hangs up, she says to him:

"And hey, if you want to text me or call me before then, that's cool..."

But Guy B is smart. Because Guy B has been Guy A before, and he knows what will happen if he sends ANY text before the actual date: he'll tell her too much about himself or accidentally say something to upset her. More importantly, though, if he spends the next 3 days texting her, he'll have NOTHING TO TALK TO HER ABOUT ON THE DATE.

So, instead, he says: "I'll keep it in mind, but I much prefer to keep my conversations in person. That way, there's no miscommunication. Plus, I'd much rather hear your pretty voice than just seeing a text. (Yes, I've said this before; yes, it works.) See you Sunday!"

The result: girl hangs up phone on cloud 9, anxiously waiting for Sunday to come.
---

My point is simply this: until you're regularly seeing a girl (i.e. made her your girlfriend, or at the very least a regular FB), your constant texting is NOT helping your cause. A woman you've just met hasn't earned the right to hear from you every day. Every moment you spend texting her is a nail in the coffin of you ever getting with her.

Oh, and I know what you're thinking: every girl you know has told you how much they like to get texts from a guy. Of course they do - girls naturally like attention 'cause it feeds their ego.

However, it's NOT what they need to be getting from a guy they just met. The less you're around a girl in the beginning, the more time she has to build up in her mind how GREAT you are, even if you're NOT that great.

When you text her, you're cutting down the time she needs to THINK about you to the point of greatness, and you're also INCREASING the likelihood of saying something that will mess up your chances with her.

Keep it simple: use the phone only for setting up dates, and do your macking in PERSON, not via text or messages.

 

[PDubb75]

Just out of curiosity, how old are you, OP?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

What a misleading thread title.

Should have called it "Don't be an Extreme AFC."

For the record texting has nothing to do with what your talking about; its the difference between being a chump and being confident.





PIMP

 

[nismo-4]

TL;DR!

This could've been shortened to just text/ phone to set up a date. Sending pointless texts and phone conversations (or text convos) kill the mystery. Texting constantly is girl's play. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed.

 

[Zarky]

OP is shilling a book apparently, according to his sig. If this is the sort of advice in it, it might be good for 16 year olds who have zero dating experience.

 

[Iceberg]

I agree with Harry that some dudes on here text too much. There's no need to be electronically attached to a girl 24/7.

But I definitely have shifted to texting more than calling. It's just easier. A phone call requires more out of me than a text. And rarely am I ever in the mood after work to dedicate 10, 15, 20 minutes to a phone call.

But yeah. Far too many guys in the world texting girls like:

Guy: What ru up to?
Girl: Watching American Idol.
Guy: Cool. I'm watching football.

It's like this - say something interesting/funny and QUICK. Then, go away. Better to be amusing and then disappear than to have these long, drawn out, go-nowhere text talks. Like an old married couple.

Best to think of it this way - text is for quick conversation. Whether it's sharing a funny story about your day or a date request. Say it. Get it done. Go do something else. These women are not your mothers...they don't want you attached to them all day like an umbilical cord.

 

[JohnChops]

This is a decent thread for sure. I used to text this girl everyday and she lost interest. And now I just don't worry about it and let her initiate a text or just text her maybe once or twice a week just to set up a date. Texting everyday is a waste

 

[MisterD]

Thread title should have been

"Texting is KILLING Your Chances With Her If You Don't Know How To Text"

 

[JohnChops]

Thread title should have been

"Texting is KILLING Your Chances With Her If You Don't Know How To Text"

Hey
Hey
What's up?
Nm u?
Chillen.

^^ wrong way to text . Don't do this and your fine

 

[incognito42]

Over texting can be an issue

 

[SamTheHobit]

Yeah I thought texting was a bad idea so I basically never texted..

All I can say is I was wrong.

People have different methods of seducing women. So this thread is invalid.

 

[Willis]

never txt

 

[JCballin88]

My text game is strong. Definitely piqued many a fine lass' interest with it.

 

[Trump]

Frankly I'd rather be guy A. He must be loaded to have so much time on his hands.

 

[Slickster]

Another debate on texting. These things just go round and round....

Meanwhile Guy C charms the panties off of her in person and it doesn't matter how or when he gets in touch with her. Text game? Phone game? Meh, this guy has game!

 

[Zerro]

Thread title should have been

"Texting is KILLING Your Chances With Her If You Don't Know How To Text"

Yep, for every guy like the OP complaining about text game there's a guy like me who gets up most if not all his dates via texting.

 

[youngmack]

MisterD has a point there. One of my bestfriends who ONLY texts girls gets soo much a$$..IDK how. He dosent even use it to set up dates, he never goes

on dates with girls unless she's his gf and somehow he games them through text and soon after gets in their pants.He's my age (17).He isn't your tom cruise but he is fairly attractive *No homo*

 

[prickster]

texting over here does kill your chances with women, because you are in here and not out there

 

[BlackMack177]

Texting these days is a prime form of communication. Most girls, hell, most people do it now. I'm sure back in the early 1990's guys were b1itching about telegraphing a woman instead of writing her a letter or some ****. I try to stay with the times.
If you swear off of it that's your thing, but I find that a lot of girls might prefer to text rather than talk on the phone for hours. I know sometimes I'd rather not stop everything i'm doing in order to invest myself into a conversation over the phone while I can get stuff done and talk to them without missing a beat. Texting them instead has not killed any attraction what so ever.

I think chicks will look at you like a caveman if you don't text these days.

worrying about petty BS is killing your chances with her, not texting

 

[yuppaz]

The issue with texting is that if you suck at it, she will have your lame ass words on permanent record to make judgments and laugh at with her friends (f*ck yes they DO do this)