Text Strategy

[flowtheory]

"Nada" is the message. This is your exit. Onus is on her to reignite.

Never choose second place on her roster.

I would agree with this if he had already met with her once. If they haven’t met, I don’t think the exit should take place until there has been another attempt.

 

[guru1000]

I would agree with this if he had already met with her once. If they haven’t met, I don’t think the exit should take place until there has been another attempt.

Even stronger reason not to double text.

Interested women will climb through barbwire fences in a two-mile minefield to get to you. The reason this site exists is because men chase uninterested women.

If two stocks paid the same dividend, as an example, would you invest into the pink sheet stock that could get delisted tomorrow--or--a Blue-Chip 300 billion dollar market cap stock that has been around for a century. They pay an identical dividend, BUT entirely different risk. Yet, men want to invest their two most valuable assets--time and attention--into a high risk endeavor.

Even understanding the above, why, then, do men choose to invest into uninterested women for the identical return? Because they believe there is interest where there is none or little.

Her Silence to your date request is an action of low interest. Be guided accordingly.

 

[flowtheory]

Even stronger reason not to double text.

Interested women will climb through barbwire fences in a two-mile minefield to get to you. The reason this site exists is because men chase uninterested women.

If two stocks paid the same dividend, as an example, would you invest into the pink sheet stock that could get delisted tomorrow--or--a Blue-Chip 300 billion dollar market cap stock that has been around for a century. They pay an identical dividend, BUT entirely different risk. Yet, men want to invest their two most valuable assets--time and attention--into a high risk endeavor.

Even understanding the above, why, then, do men choose to invest into uninterested women for the identical return? Because they believe there is interest where there is none or little.

Her Silence to your date request is an action of low interest. Be guided accordingly.

So if a woman isn’t climbing through hell and showing HIGH interest right from the start, even if you haven’t yet met in real life, don’t bother?

 

[Barrister]

Just to make this clear - I already know this woman through business. We are both attorneys and are in court together from time to time. Partly why in my counter I didn't offer a specific time to meet because so often you have no idea when you are going to get out of the courthouse.

We have gone out before after court and gotten drinks. I would definitely say she is at best medium interest towards me. She also just got out of a relationship so I am guessing that she is still hung up on the other guy to an extent. I know - probably more trouble than it is worth.

My question had more to do with texting in general more than this specific situation. Back before I was married I don't feel that texting was so central to dating like it is now. I much prefer asking out face to face or with a phone call. Texting seems like it lends itself to too much wishy-washy behavior for females from what I can tell thus far.

In this particular instance, it has only been 24 hours since the exchange, but still nothing. I'll probably reach out next week sometime but if I get nothing I will move on for good at that point. Appreciate all the thoughts and advice though - I am definitely rusty at this right now.

 

[guru1000]

So if a woman isn’t climbing through hell and showing HIGH interest right from the start, even if you haven’t yet met in real life, don’t bother?

Yes. That's SMART investing. That is investing your time and attention only into women who prove interested and not rationalizing their poor behavior for them under the (contrived) guise of interest.

Here is a working example:

http://s682.photobucket.com/user/guru1000/media/IMG_3435_zps6vxchkuq.png.html?o=5

Subject: OLD girl whom I never met. I ask her when she is free to meet:

• She ignores my date request;
• I disqualify her by going Silent and Distant with the motive to eliminate her entirely;
• She responds the next day by ignoring my date request and asks how I am doing;
• I ignore her;
• She double-texts the following day asking how I am doing and saying she is free Sunday and to let her know;
• She shows her newfound interest and so I re-engage.

What do you think happened on that date?

http://s682.photobucket.com/user/guru1000/media/IMG_3457_zpslv8yivxk.png.html?o=4

IF a women ignores your date request, doesn't counter-offer, or doesn't respond, she loses YOU. She gets ONE shot for you to court; otherwise she has to bring ALL the legwork forward to make it work. Great to have backbone, heh?

 

[Barrister]

Even stronger reason not to double text.

Interested women will climb through barbwire fences in a two-mile minefield to get to you. The reason this site exists is because men chase uninterested women.

If two stocks paid the same dividend, as an example, would you invest into the pink sheet stock that could get delisted tomorrow--or--a Blue-Chip 300 billion dollar market cap stock that has been around for a century. They pay an identical dividend, BUT entirely different risk. Yet, men want to invest their two most valuable assets--time and attention--into a high risk endeavor.

Even understanding the above, why, then, do men choose to invest into uninterested women for the identical return? Because they believe there is interest where there is none or little.

Her Silence to your date request is an action of low interest. Be guided accordingly.

Guru, I think part of my issue is that I am not used to operating in a world where women have so many options. My ex and I were married right out of school where we were in a bubble of sorts, so this dynamic where women have endless options across miles and miles and where the main form of communication is either messaging on a computer or texting like they do now is something I will have to get used to. I do think I do pretty well once I am on dates 1 on 1. My struggle is generally the pre-date phase -- garnering interest and building rapport. That balance between being too available yet being present so they don't forget you is where I need work.

 

[guru1000]

Guru, I think part of my issue is that I am not used to operating in a world where women have so many options. My ex and I were married right out of school where we were in a bubble of sorts, so this dynamic where women have endless options across miles and miles and where the main form of communication is either messaging on a computer or texting like they do now is something I will have to get used to. I do think I do pretty well once I am on dates 1 on 1. My struggle is generally the pre-date phase -- garnering interest and building rapport. That balance between being too available yet being present so they don't forget you is where I need work.

Yes hot women have many options, many options of guys they are not interested in ("orbiters"), but few options with men they are truly interested in. Don't be their orbiter is the greater message here by welcoming only interested women into your sphere.

Don’t contrive reasons to chase them when you are among their lowest priority.

The implicit reasoning in your quote is that women are the “prize,” and YOU are the lucky one to get a chance to win her. Is this the frame you wish to operate in, a pity, "I have nothing else to do" date for her?

DJs operate differently by investing their time and attention (T & A) smartly.

Most women are stifled with orbiters because they can only choose among men who approach them. Diametrically, DJs can approach women and can choose among women they are actually interested to meet. Your job is to deprive uninterested women of your T & A--and--give the gift of your T &A to women who consistently show high interest.

The language of (most) women is covert. Instead of overtly telling you, “Hey, you are my last option for tonight so I'm texting you. I have absolutely no plans tonight so I can meet you but only tonight just to kill time,” she asks you to meet, and when you counter-offer, she disappears because all other nights she has plans with men who she is interested in. Her silence to your counteroffer demonstrates this message. This is the cue you need to act upon.

The great ideal of being a Don Juan, is now YOU do the choosing.

 

[flowtheory]

Yes. That's SMART investing. That is investing your time and attention only into women who prove interested and not rationalizing their poor behavior for them under the (contrived) guise of interest.

Here is a working example:

http://s682.photobucket.com/user/guru1000/media/IMG_3435_zps6vxchkuq.png.html?o=5

Subject: OLD girl whom I never met. I ask her when she is free to meet:

• She ignores my date request;
• I disqualify her by going Silent and Distant with the motive to eliminate her entirely;
• She responds the next day by ignoring my date request and asks how I am doing;
• I ignore her;
• She double-texts the following day asking how I am doing and saying she is free Sunday and to let her know;
• She shows her newfound interest and so I re-engage.

What do you think happened on that date?

http://s682.photobucket.com/user/guru1000/media/IMG_3457_zpslv8yivxk.png.html?o=4

IF a women ignores your date request, doesn't counter-offer, or doesn't respond, she loses YOU. She gets ONE shot for you to court; otherwise she has to bring ALL the legwork forward to make it work. Great to have backbone, heh?

I can see what you’re saying.
However! I don’t think it makes you seem low status or desperate or weak if you have set a time, she doesn’t respond, and you simply just shoot a message again a day or two later saying: “does that work?”
I did this yesterday and she responded “Yes!” And then proceeded to ask about my day.. I wouldn’t think she views me as less or lower value..

Because she could have insanely high interest via text, meet you, and then think ‘meh.. next’. And vice versa, think ‘he may be okay’ then after the date be like ‘oh wow!’
So my hypothesis would be as, nothing matters until the actual date has been had. Then play properly from that point forward. And I’m not saying pre-game date doesn’t matter.

 

[guru1000]

I can see what you’re saying.
However! I don’t think it makes you seem low status or desperate or weak if you have set a time, she doesn’t respond, and you simply just shoot a message again a day or two later saying: “does that work?”
I did this yesterday and she responded “Yes!” And then proceeded to ask about my day.. I wouldn’t think she views me as less or lower value..

• Her not responding to you shows you are low priority;
• Your double-texting doesn't increase your priority;
• Her "Yes" following your double-text does not increase your priority.

Keep us posted on that date in this thread. You are a high priority in one regard, for a flake

 

[flowtheory]

• Her not responding to you shows you are low priority;
• Your double-texting doesn't increase your priority;
• Her "Yes" following your double-text does not increase your priority.

Keep us posted on that date in this thread. You are a high priority in one regard, for a flake

It doesn’t decrease my value either. I would say my value decreases if the date doesn’t go well.. then she can properly gauge her interest. Right now, text confirming or not, means nothing; priority level, sure. A woman who shows high interest via text can flake at any moment too.

You’re making good points though.

I have 5 dates lines up this week until Saturday. I’ll be posting a thread on what happened with each based on new information learned these previous weeks.
Text confirming day of, follow ups after not hearing confirmation on their part, etc.

On an unrelated question.. pretty basic; if you don’t hear back from them first how long do you personally wait to message them to follow up when you’re interested?

 

[guru1000]

On an unrelated question.. pretty basic; if you don’t hear back from them first how long do you personally wait to message them to follow up when you’re interested?

Whenever I desire with the assumption that the "I" in question is acting out of abundance and not need. Hence, another reason to filter for high interest, as "it" doesn't matter with high IL women.

If a woman is on the fence, encourage her to fall off the fence (to save your T&A), by doing what you desire as well.

 

[flowtheory]

Whenever I desire with the assumption that the "I" in question is acting out of abundance and not need. Hence, another reason to filter for high interest, as "it" doesn't matter with high IL women.

If a woman is on the fence, encourage her to fall off the fence (to save your T&A), by doing what you desire as well.

Solid.

Write a thread on the Guru basics. Seriously. You have a good perspective on this stuff.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Never double text. Send text messages that end with a question.

The OP is expecting a response to a text that doesn’t prompt an answer.

You guys have to close every chance you get. Correct response was:

No, today doesn’t work. I’m free <date> at <time>. Let’s meet at <location>. Can u make it?

 

[flowtheory]

Never double text. Send text messages that end with a question.

The OP is expecting a response to a text that doesn’t prompt an answer.

You guys have to close every chance you get. Correct response was:

No, today doesn’t work. I’m free <date> at <time>. Let’s meet at <location>. Can u make it?

Word!

I learned this twice lately. I had put statements... “6:30pm Starbucks.” And then no response to which I realized I wasn’t prompting her to respond which would give me a clear indication of what the next move was on my part.
Forced me to end up double texting, whatever though, got responses both times. Still not an ideal look for my frame and value

 

[EyeBRollin]

Word!

I learned this twice lately. I had put statements... “6:30pm Starbucks.” And then no response to which I realized I wasn’t prompting her to respond which would give me a clear indication of what the next move was on my part.
Forced me to end up double texting, whatever though, got responses both times. Still not an ideal look for my frame and value

A question mark works, just be specific. Women don’t want to think about logistics.

“6:30 pm on Tuesday, Starbucks @ 41st and 7th Ave?”

Or

“6:30 pm on Tuesday, Starbucks?

<Starbucks address>“

Beauty of smartphones, all she has to do is click on the address link. Don’t want to miss a date bc the broad can’t find the location.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

• Her not responding to you shows you are low priority;
• Your double-texting doesn't increase your priority;
• Her "Yes" following your double-text does not increase your priority.

Keep us posted on that date in this thread. You are a high priority in one regard, for a flake

Is a policy of dealing with nothing less than Entusiasically interested babes a good one? I want to torpedo them if they flake once or twice or the "maybe" or "probably" . If I'm not a significant feature in their sphere of vision, leave me alone. I don't want it .

 

[EyeBRollin]

Is a policy of dealing with nothing less than Entusiasically interested babes a good one? I want to torpedo them if they flake once or twice or the "maybe" or "probably" . If I'm not a significant feature in their sphere of vision, leave me alone. I don't want it .

You can't really make this determination online because you haven't met the chick yet. However, if you have met her (either had a first date, or in day / night game, etc) and she flakes, she is absolutely disqualified. Flakes are unacceptable. But if you just set this up over tinder or POF or something, I'd give her a a second chance depending on how booked I get with other chicks.

 

[guru1000]

Is a policy of dealing with nothing less than Entusiasically interested babes a good one? I want to torpedo them if they flake once or twice or the "maybe" or "probably" . If I'm not a significant feature in their sphere of vision, leave me alone. I don't want it .

Yes. If a girl flakes with a meritorious reason, sincerity, and a counter offer--or--a phone call which is proper, I'll give her one more chance. Otherwise, she's out insofar as she'll have to pick up ALL the legwork to get me out on a date, to which I would always leave her as last priority in double- and triple-headers slots.

This applies to any girl whether we have met or not.

Yet, I find no problem in rain-checking women in double- or triple headers. Yes, it's a double standard. I'm not here to play fair.