"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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"Text/Message me on the day to remind me"

Firefly

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I have been getting this response quite a bit recently from young women with whom I have been making appointments, both in dating situations and non-dating situations. Just wanted to get opinions from the Mature group on:

1. What does this mean? I assume it means low interest and a desire to keep one's options open, but it seems odd that I get such a response even from women in non-dating situations (i.e I recently offered to show a group of newly arrived overseas students from my uni around the city, and I got this response from the female student who I am in contact with).

2. What is the best response to this? My response to the most recent examples of this was to text back "Here is your reminder. Don't forget to check it on (the day) ;)" Are there better alternative responses?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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iqqi

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Just say "How about you plan on it."

With a smile and a wink.

Really there isn't a suave way to get around someone else's rudeness.

Sometimes, it could also be there way of making sure you really want to do it, maybe they have been flaked on themselves.
 

zekko

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I'm a person who likes to make confirmations, just a bit OCD that way.

But it does sound like some game playing on her part to put it like that.
It's like she's saying she won't be giving you a second thought until the time comes. It's either low interest or she's playing low interest. Either way, I'd
find it annoying.

I can't think of a clever DJ response. Like iqqi says, there isn't a suave way to get around someone else's rudeness. If I wasn't that into her I'd be tempted to tell her to forget it, I'll ask somebody else who will remember to make the time.
 

Boilermaker

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iqqi is getting old and bitter.

time flies

:p
 

Naughty Ninja

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I'd just reply with: "What if I forget?"...and leave it at that.

If she responds with: "Then I'll remind you." Leave the ball in her court and you will see if she is really interested.

If she responds with: "Then it's your loss." You have your answer that she feels she is above you...And leave it at that.

Forget the mind games. She won't be able to play them with someone who doesn't care and (as you should) have more things to do than worry about her nonsense.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Scaramouche

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Dear FireFly,
That's not a calculated put down in my book,she's just another ditzy femme...Seems in the States it is quite an insult!
 

Knight's Cross

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The whole,"Remind me before the date" is a serious sign of low IL. What you need to do in these situations is play ****y funny and just tell her in a reply that you set a date, you'll be there:)
Clean, simple test of her IL. You raise it by being resolute, you lower it by being a "ok, let me confirm before the date" beta. Now if it's date plans a long way out I'm totally thinking a couple texts back and forth are cool. Keeps her IL up if you stay very lightly connected. Use the 1/3 rule.
KC
 

Myrrdin

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"What am I.... your secretary?"
 

DJDamage

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Firefly said:
1. What does this mean? I assume it means low interest and a desire to keep one's options open
Yep you got it.

That's why you can't just settle for 1 woman's number in a week and hope you might just happen to catch her when she isn't riding someone else's c0ck, you got to at least have 2 or 3 women in rotation in any given week.

Instead of texting, call her up. Personally if I am making an appointment for a date, I'm not waiting for her to respond to me with texting at her convenient. I want to hear her voice and see whether I hear signs of excitement or hesitation's then I would truly know where I stand with her.
 

Colossus

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If it's a casual commitment with a friend, ok.

If it's for work or business, no.

If it's for a date, double-no. Text another girl instead.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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squirrels

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To "remind her"?

Yeah, I'm usually more tolerant of that, but her suggesting "I'll probably forget about it" is just ditzy/flaky.

Polite way..."Never mind, we'll do another night...I'll let you know." And then never talk to her again.

Confrontational way..."Remind you? Are you planning on forgetting? Why don't we just forget it altogether? ;) *click*"

Or, if you really would like to get up in 'em guts, call her up last-minute from somewhere fun and invite her out. Be the guy she cancels FOR, not the one she cancels ON.

She's not the one, honey. :whistle:
 

runner83

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Firefly said:
I have been getting this response quite a bit recently from young women with whom I have been making appointments, both in dating situations and non-dating situations. Just wanted to get opinions from the Mature group on:

1. What does this mean? I assume it means low interest and a desire to keep one's options open, but it seems odd that I get such a response even from women in non-dating situations (i.e I recently offered to show a group of newly arrived overseas students from my uni around the city, and I got this response from the female student who I am in contact with).

2. What is the best response to this? My response to the most recent examples of this was to text back "Here is your reminder. Don't forget to check it on (the day) ;)" Are there better alternative responses?
So what? People are busy. Not everyone has time to sit around wondering about one date coming up.

Probably even more so, for any decent looking girl who has every swinging d!ick coming on to her.

Stop worrying about stupid stuff like this. What matters is whether they actually show up and how things go.

Typical example of how overanalysing situations can actually make you less successful.
 

leeraconteur

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Get her to make solid plans, then and there, time and place.

'I like to make definite plans. Ollies at 2pm on Sunday.'

If she flakes, she is already planning on nexting you and you are a deep fallback, if anything.

Move on.
 
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