Alright, I know every other day it seems like there's a new text-related thread popping up. I'm making this to hopefully answer some basic text questions so that people won't continue to make threads for every text they receive.
Keep in mind I'm 24 and the bulk of women I deal with are in the 20-25 range. So I'm basing this on what I've found works for that age group.
I know some people argue that texting should only be used to set up dates but in this day and age, most people, men and women alike, prefer to text. In this instant gratification society, people lose their attention very quickly. If you can't see them in person, you need to be communicating with them every few days to make sure you stay on their mind, and keep their interest level where it's at. What you're trying to convey is that you're a good time. Whether in person, through text, whatever, you want her brain to associate your name with good times. If you know how to text, it will only improve your chances with her. It's just one element of your game to add to your arsenal.
Now, with all that being said; here are my tips to text game:
-Warning Signs: I think you can measure a girl's interest in the way she texts. At least for the age group I'm dealing with. You know most girls that age are connected to their smartphones 24/7. Whether they're tweeting, instagramming, checking Facebook, surfing the web, texting, listening to music, watching youtube, etc…they are almost always looking at their screens. At work, at school, wherever. I've seen some girls in school sit in the back of class by the electrical outlets to charge their phones so they don't miss a minute of the action. Now there are always exceptions to the rule, and people sometimes are too busy to answer a text within a respectable time frame, but if it becomes a pattern, she's just not that into you. Here are some things to look out for:
-Takes too long to text: We all play by our own set of rules. Mine is 3-4 hours. If I sent a text that demands a reply (a question, trying to set up a date, etc) and she doesn't answer within 3-4 hours. She has low interest. Especially if before you asked her about the date, the convo was flowing seamlessly back and forth.
-"Busy": No girl I've ever hooked up with has used that word on me. There may be some rare exceptions, but when a girl uses busy as an excuse as to why she hasn't been communicating with you; take the hint. As we all know, when a girl wants you, she will make time for you.
-Never Contacts First: Now, I know a lot of girls subscribe to the idea that if a man really likes you, he will chase you, but most quality women, will text you first from time to time. If you find yourself always having to be the one to initiate contact, she is not into you. She likes the attention you give her when you do text, but she can take it or leave it. If she's never the one to initiate contact, you have a problem.
Openers: Never send a "What's up" text. All you'll get is a "Nothing much, you?" in return. You've already started off on the wrong foot. You want to be different. Only text them if you have something interesting or funny to say. Never say "I'm bored", never talk about mundane things. Sometimes I don't even say hi, I just jump into material. I had bought this new cologne that I've heard most women are into, so instead of saying "Hey I just bought this new cologne!", which is kind of boring, I phrased it differently.
Me: I bet if there was a contest between you and I as to who smelled better right now, I would win.
Her: Umm ok? Hahaaha, why is that??
Me: I just got L'Eau d'Issey Pour Homme by Issey Miyake. Have you ever smelled it? When you can't pronounce something, that's how you know it's good.
Her: Haha yes I've smelled it before! It's sooo yummy!
Me: Well, next time I see you, try to contain yourself from smelling various parts of my body. Have some class.
Her: Haha I'll try but I can't promise anything!
Me: Actually, a good day for you to smell me is Saturday night. I was thinking of going to _______, want to come?
Another example that I used in another thread is this--the backstory is, I asked a girl to model for me (I'm a photographer) and she said if she woke up looking like Gisele Bundchen then she would. So here was my opener a few days later.
Me: I saw something that reminded me of you.
Her: What?
Me: Victoria's Secret lingerie commercial.
Her: Hahaha what?? Why was that?
Me: I saw Gisele Bundchen in it and I thought whoa, is that really her, or did Sarah wake up looking like her??
Her: Hahaha nope, I'm still me!
Me: That's ok, I like you better as Sarah anyway. But you should really model for me though, I'll make you the second biggest icon in the world!
Her: Thanks but who is the first biggest?
Me: You're talking to him ;-)
Her: Hahaha, oh, very smooth!
Another day she texted me:
Her: Heyyy
Me: Sarah right. Still not Gisele?
Her: Sadly no. :-(
Me: That's ok. I think I'm going to need to see you in lingerie to make my final decision though, as to who's prettier.
Her: Hahaha oh I don't think so mister!
Me: No lingerie? Nothing at all?? Wow. That is pure filth. You're such a dirty girl. I like it.
Her: Hahaha oh you know that's not what I meant! ;-)
Bottom line, you want random, silly openers. I don't use canned material. I try to use inside jokes to develop more familiarity and to lower her guard. I never risk canned stuff because I assume the hotter she is, the more lines she's heard. The worst thing you can do is be that second guy to use a line she's heard before.
Be Sexual: You should be escalating convos when you see openings. Don't be sexual every single text because it comes off as desperate, and don't make it obvious, make sure it's clever. For me, no matter how filthy my text was, as long as it was clever and witty, the girl responded positively to it. Don't be afraid to get steamy. Sometimes, as mentioned in another thread, she won't respond to the text. She's trying to test your stones. Don't give in by switching the subject, trying to make a joke, or anything else that would make it seem you regret sending a sexual text. Be a man and stick by your words. A girl respects a man who's confident and bold. Admittedly I don't think a girl has ever ignored one of my escalation texts, but if she did, I wouldn't respond again until she responded back. Let her know you're not going to take the bait.
Take Note of Response Time: As stated before, I have very little patience for late responses. If we go back and forth, sending texts to each other every 5-10 minutes, then suddenly she doesn't respond back for 2 hours, I'm not going to respond within 5-10 minutes, and give her this idea that I'm free to chat whenever she feels like she needs some entertainment. When I text a girl, I'm giving her my attention in that particular window of time. that 5-10 minute window. If she leaves that window, it closes. She doesn't get back to me for an hour? I'll wait 2 hours. She has to know you are not an unlimited source of ego boosting she can just tap into whenever she wants. Set the frame early. Do this enough and she'll get the hint. You hate to get this petty and play these childish games, but unfortunately you have to sometimes, or you'll get eaten alive. Not just with texting, but dating in general. If you let a girl do as she pleases, you will get absolutely eaten alive. Let her use her afc orbiter buddies as text friends. If she's late to respond, she missed the boat on you, and will simply have to wait until the boat pulls in again.
-Recognize When Her Interest Is Fading: This is self explanatory but still something that needs to be talked about. You are texting her because you're a fun, interesting guy, who would like to show her a good time. You are not her rodeo clown hired to amuse her. If you make a joke and she types "lol" or "hahaha" without advancing the conversation, don't text her anymore for that day. It takes two people to keep a conversation flowing, you're not doing a stand up routine, do not continue to try to make her laugh in an attempt to get her to open up or keep the convo going, just move on so she realizes, you're not here for her entertainment. Added bonus is that you're leaving on a high note. That will add to your charm.
Keep in mind I'm 24 and the bulk of women I deal with are in the 20-25 range. So I'm basing this on what I've found works for that age group.
I know some people argue that texting should only be used to set up dates but in this day and age, most people, men and women alike, prefer to text. In this instant gratification society, people lose their attention very quickly. If you can't see them in person, you need to be communicating with them every few days to make sure you stay on their mind, and keep their interest level where it's at. What you're trying to convey is that you're a good time. Whether in person, through text, whatever, you want her brain to associate your name with good times. If you know how to text, it will only improve your chances with her. It's just one element of your game to add to your arsenal.
Now, with all that being said; here are my tips to text game:
-Warning Signs: I think you can measure a girl's interest in the way she texts. At least for the age group I'm dealing with. You know most girls that age are connected to their smartphones 24/7. Whether they're tweeting, instagramming, checking Facebook, surfing the web, texting, listening to music, watching youtube, etc…they are almost always looking at their screens. At work, at school, wherever. I've seen some girls in school sit in the back of class by the electrical outlets to charge their phones so they don't miss a minute of the action. Now there are always exceptions to the rule, and people sometimes are too busy to answer a text within a respectable time frame, but if it becomes a pattern, she's just not that into you. Here are some things to look out for:
-Takes too long to text: We all play by our own set of rules. Mine is 3-4 hours. If I sent a text that demands a reply (a question, trying to set up a date, etc) and she doesn't answer within 3-4 hours. She has low interest. Especially if before you asked her about the date, the convo was flowing seamlessly back and forth.
-"Busy": No girl I've ever hooked up with has used that word on me. There may be some rare exceptions, but when a girl uses busy as an excuse as to why she hasn't been communicating with you; take the hint. As we all know, when a girl wants you, she will make time for you.
-Never Contacts First: Now, I know a lot of girls subscribe to the idea that if a man really likes you, he will chase you, but most quality women, will text you first from time to time. If you find yourself always having to be the one to initiate contact, she is not into you. She likes the attention you give her when you do text, but she can take it or leave it. If she's never the one to initiate contact, you have a problem.
Openers: Never send a "What's up" text. All you'll get is a "Nothing much, you?" in return. You've already started off on the wrong foot. You want to be different. Only text them if you have something interesting or funny to say. Never say "I'm bored", never talk about mundane things. Sometimes I don't even say hi, I just jump into material. I had bought this new cologne that I've heard most women are into, so instead of saying "Hey I just bought this new cologne!", which is kind of boring, I phrased it differently.
Me: I bet if there was a contest between you and I as to who smelled better right now, I would win.
Her: Umm ok? Hahaaha, why is that??
Me: I just got L'Eau d'Issey Pour Homme by Issey Miyake. Have you ever smelled it? When you can't pronounce something, that's how you know it's good.
Her: Haha yes I've smelled it before! It's sooo yummy!
Me: Well, next time I see you, try to contain yourself from smelling various parts of my body. Have some class.
Her: Haha I'll try but I can't promise anything!
Me: Actually, a good day for you to smell me is Saturday night. I was thinking of going to _______, want to come?
Another example that I used in another thread is this--the backstory is, I asked a girl to model for me (I'm a photographer) and she said if she woke up looking like Gisele Bundchen then she would. So here was my opener a few days later.
Me: I saw something that reminded me of you.
Her: What?
Me: Victoria's Secret lingerie commercial.
Her: Hahaha what?? Why was that?
Me: I saw Gisele Bundchen in it and I thought whoa, is that really her, or did Sarah wake up looking like her??
Her: Hahaha nope, I'm still me!
Me: That's ok, I like you better as Sarah anyway. But you should really model for me though, I'll make you the second biggest icon in the world!
Her: Thanks but who is the first biggest?
Me: You're talking to him ;-)
Her: Hahaha, oh, very smooth!
Another day she texted me:
Her: Heyyy
Me: Sarah right. Still not Gisele?
Her: Sadly no. :-(
Me: That's ok. I think I'm going to need to see you in lingerie to make my final decision though, as to who's prettier.
Her: Hahaha oh I don't think so mister!
Me: No lingerie? Nothing at all?? Wow. That is pure filth. You're such a dirty girl. I like it.
Her: Hahaha oh you know that's not what I meant! ;-)
Bottom line, you want random, silly openers. I don't use canned material. I try to use inside jokes to develop more familiarity and to lower her guard. I never risk canned stuff because I assume the hotter she is, the more lines she's heard. The worst thing you can do is be that second guy to use a line she's heard before.
Be Sexual: You should be escalating convos when you see openings. Don't be sexual every single text because it comes off as desperate, and don't make it obvious, make sure it's clever. For me, no matter how filthy my text was, as long as it was clever and witty, the girl responded positively to it. Don't be afraid to get steamy. Sometimes, as mentioned in another thread, she won't respond to the text. She's trying to test your stones. Don't give in by switching the subject, trying to make a joke, or anything else that would make it seem you regret sending a sexual text. Be a man and stick by your words. A girl respects a man who's confident and bold. Admittedly I don't think a girl has ever ignored one of my escalation texts, but if she did, I wouldn't respond again until she responded back. Let her know you're not going to take the bait.
Take Note of Response Time: As stated before, I have very little patience for late responses. If we go back and forth, sending texts to each other every 5-10 minutes, then suddenly she doesn't respond back for 2 hours, I'm not going to respond within 5-10 minutes, and give her this idea that I'm free to chat whenever she feels like she needs some entertainment. When I text a girl, I'm giving her my attention in that particular window of time. that 5-10 minute window. If she leaves that window, it closes. She doesn't get back to me for an hour? I'll wait 2 hours. She has to know you are not an unlimited source of ego boosting she can just tap into whenever she wants. Set the frame early. Do this enough and she'll get the hint. You hate to get this petty and play these childish games, but unfortunately you have to sometimes, or you'll get eaten alive. Not just with texting, but dating in general. If you let a girl do as she pleases, you will get absolutely eaten alive. Let her use her afc orbiter buddies as text friends. If she's late to respond, she missed the boat on you, and will simply have to wait until the boat pulls in again.
-Recognize When Her Interest Is Fading: This is self explanatory but still something that needs to be talked about. You are texting her because you're a fun, interesting guy, who would like to show her a good time. You are not her rodeo clown hired to amuse her. If you make a joke and she types "lol" or "hahaha" without advancing the conversation, don't text her anymore for that day. It takes two people to keep a conversation flowing, you're not doing a stand up routine, do not continue to try to make her laugh in an attempt to get her to open up or keep the convo going, just move on so she realizes, you're not here for her entertainment. Added bonus is that you're leaving on a high note. That will add to your charm.
