Text Game - What am I doing wrong?

[IBreatheSpears]

I'm using OKC and Tinder for low-effort lays but I have this repeating pattern where I flirt and banter with a girl and she stops replying when I ask her out. This happens almost every time. Am I overqualifying myself or something?

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Another example. This one I haven't replied to yet and maybe I can still get her, but judging by the lengths of her messages I feel like I'm the one being gamed.

 

[Igetit!]

I'm using OKC and Tinder for low-effort lays but I have this repeating pattern where I flirt and banter with a girl and she stops replying when I ask her out. This happens almost every time. Am I overqualifying myself or something?

I read some of the back and forth conversation between you and the women on OKC. You asked what it is you're doing wrong. I can answer that in one word......

EVERYTHING. Everything from what I've seen.

Your conversations are FLUFF....are NONSENSE. I can understand wanting to seem light-hearted and playful,but your talk is out of whack. For one,the formula is A.C.S........which is "attraction,comfort,seduction"....and in THAT order. You seem to have put "comfort" first...and it's not even good comfort....it's just...just a bunch of nonsense. I can see why the chicks stopped responding.

Seems to me you're trying to somewhat "flirt"....but there's no attraction present in it. Plus,it seems to drag on.

Let me ask you this.....how do you normally start a conversation? Like,what's the first thing you say? I'd like to see what the transition is from how you first start out,to these type of conversations you gave examples of here.

It's not a big deal though,you can turn this around. You just need to be a tad bit more serious,use some light sexual innuendo.....and drop this Mickey Mouse,childish...lack of masculinity type of banter.

If you had sexual flirting,date suggestive talk,then a slight bit of what you did here,then more sexual flirting/date suggestive talk,followed by asking her out,you'd get a lot farther.....but when the majority of your talk is about,what...rodents,adopting cats,playing tic-tac-toe,Osama Bin Laden (wtf?),then made a joke about planes and 9/11.....it's a wonder the chicks didn't end the conversations and stop talking to you sooner.

 

[Poon King]

You're corny.

The mistake men often make when trying to "game" women is worry about what to say instead of worrying about the right mindset to have. Start thinking about yourself as a famous athlete or actor like Tom Brady or Chris Hemsworth. You are in a position where you have ABUNDANCE and most women find you attractive. If you were in this position, how would you act around women? How would you talk to them? What would you talk to them about?

Most men approach women like they approach a job interview. They act like they need to prove themselves and show their value. This approach shows you're a beta and you lack abundance. Women sense it right away. This is why men should spin plates btw.

I don't f*ck with online dating, but when I cold approach a woman I keep it simple and real. No corny games or jokes. I tell her she is cute and ask her what her name is and sometimes where she is from. Next I tell her I wanted to meet her to see if the book was as nice as the cover. After that I close unless the woman decides to pro-long the conversation. (Side note. You can tell by a woman's reaction to being called "cute" if you will be able to close her successfully or not. I usually know if I'm getting the number before I ask for it).

Once I have her number I text her within a week. My first text is always flirty. Next I invite her to meet.

That's it. I just go directly for what I want. I don't try to prove anything or "demonstrate value" or make corny jokes. I don't need to. Trying to prove something to others is often a sign of inadequacy and insecurity.

 

[marmel75]

I read some of the back and forth conversation between you and the women on OKC. You asked what it is you're doing wrong. I can answer that in one word......

EVERYTHING. Everything from what I've seen.

Your conversations are FLUFF....are NONSENSE. I can understand wanting to seem light-hearted and playful,but your talk is out of whack. For one,the formula is A.C.S........which is "attraction,comfort,seduction"....and in THAT order. You seem to have put "comfort" first...and it's not even good comfort....it's just...just a bunch of nonsense. I can see why the chicks stopped responding.

Seems to me you're trying to somewhat "flirt"....but there's no attraction present in it. Plus,it seems to drag on.

Let me ask you this.....how do you normally start a conversation? Like,what's the first thing you say? I'd like to see what the transition is from how you first start out,to these type of conversations you gave examples of here.

It's not a big deal though,you can turn this around. You just need to be a tad bit more serious,use some light sexual innuendo.....and drop this Mickey Mouse,childish...lack of masculinity type of banter.

If you had sexual flirting,date suggestive talk,then a slight bit of what you did here,then more sexual flirting/date suggestive talk,followed by asking her out,you'd get a lot farther.....but when the majority of your talk is about,what...rodents,adopting cats,playing tic-tac-toe,Osama Bin Laden (wtf?),then made a joke about planes and 9/11.....it's a wonder the chicks didn't end the conversations and stop talking to you sooner.

Pretty much this...the more you say, the bigger your chance of boring her, saying something she doesn't like, misinterpreting something, etc...

#1 you shouldn't have time to be going back and forth like this with her

#2 what is this accomplishing? It's not sexual. It's not flirty, what is the point? Are you trying to be a clown?

Your goal is to get the women out on a date, not text her to death. Give her 2 or 3 messages and then ask her out for drinks. Its simple.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Thanks for the advice. I see that what I'm doing is qualifying myself in a tepid, asexual way. I was trying to be fun & show that I don't take them seriously/aren't afraid to poke fun.

I started these coversations the way you saw. Usually I make an observation about one of her pictures to make fun of her. For example, the bin Laden thing: she has a tattoo of Johnny Depp and my first thought was that it looked like bin Laden. I thought it could work as a neg.

Some of these girls have actually replied now. I'll report back with what happens but I'm not expecting much since the non-sexual frame is set.

 

[marmel75]

Thanks for the advice. I see that what I'm doing is qualifying myself in a tepid, asexual way. I was trying to be fun & show that I don't take them seriously/aren't afraid to poke fun.

I started these coversations the way you saw. Usually I make an observation about one of her pictures to make fun of her. For example, the bin Laden thing: she has a tattoo of Johnny Depp and my first thought was that it looked like bin Laden. I thought it could work as a neg.

Some of these girls have actually replied now. I'll report back with what happens but I'm not expecting much since the non-sexual frame is set.

Less is almost always more in these situations.