"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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text for a lunch date?

Marmanalade

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I recently met this girl through school. It was orientation week and I saw her at a few parties. She chatted me up for a little bit the first time. Second time, we didn't talk much, but I did dance with her for a few songs that night. I was weaving in and out of different groups showing my mad dancing skills. Third night I saw her, I managed to pull her from her friends and got a few more dances. I numbered closed as I took her back to her friends.

It has been about a week and I was thinking about asking her for a lunch date by texting her. I have talked to some buddies of mine with mixed advice. Some say text, others say call her, and even others say "run into her."

What do you guys think I should do?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Real Talk

Don Juan
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Marmanalade said:
I recently met this girl through school. It was orientation week and I saw her at a few parties. She chatted me up for a little bit the first time. Second time, we didn't talk much, but I did dance with her for a few songs that night. I was weaving in and out of different groups showing my mad dancing skills. Third night I saw her, I managed to pull her from her friends and got a few more dances. I numbered closed as I took her back to her friends.

It has been about a week and I was thinking about asking her for a lunch date by texting her. I have talked to some buddies of mine with mixed advice. Some say text, others say call her, and even others say "run into her."

What do you guys think I should do?
Welcome to the forums!

Once you've been around here a while you'll learn that for various reasons its better to call than to text. If you're nervous about calling, which is fine, heres a basic guideline that should be able to make your call go smoothly.

1. The call itself should be quick, no more than 3 minutes, so give yourself an time constraint to avoid any dillydallying. Do it while you're walking to the gym or something, so you can close with a "ok well I'm actually walking toward the gym right now so I gtg" or some such. It gives you a way to end the conversation
3. The easiest date-set-up call format is the following:
- calmly say hi and tell her who you are and where you met as she doesn't have your contact saved yet, and ask her how she is doing or what she's up to.
- with her answer try to give relateable feedback. (her: "Oh i just came back from picking up my textbooks" you: "for what classes?" her: "blah blah" you: "I was thinking about taking that, i heard the prof is hard though, you hear anything?" etc.)
- Once that little convo piece has run through just ask her to something she could ACCOMPANY you to i.e. you would do it even if she wasn't going along. (in your case it would be "so next week I am checking out all the dining halls on campus. You down to try so-and-so on tuesday at lunch with me?")
-secure the date and get out of there (see part 1.)

Thats pretty much it. After that its up to you to use your charms :) Remember short convo, 2-3 mins tops.
 

Maximus Rex

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Marmanalade said:
What do you guys think I should do?
Read the DJ Bible. The Game by Neil Strauss and The Mystery Method, by Mystery.
 

ARrocket

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Real Talk gave some good advice, internalize it.

Something everybody overlooked, however, is what you're actually planning to do with this girl...that is, lunch.

Honestly, you're generally going to want to avoid lunch dates...don't get me wrong, they CAN work out well, but when you think about it, it's not really the ideal situation...you're most likely going to go into interview mode (so what's your major, where are you from, how many siblings do you have, etc) which is just boring, there are no kino opportunities, the awkward situation of who pays comes up...you get the idea.

Much better to suggest grabbing some coffee...and then get it to go! Take a little walk with her, that way the conversation could flow better (you can constantly find something to say with your changing surroundings), you CAN and MUST have some kino/physical escalation, and there is a better possibility of some isolation. Work her over with your charm, and then on the next meet up you can have her alone win your room ;)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Marmanalade

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Thanks for the advice. I went with the phone call, I was a bit nervous. I need to work on my phone game. Anyways, I manage to get a lunch date on Monday right before my exam.


ARrocket, I understand what you are saying, but it is a quick lunch (less than an hour.) We have to walk to the place anyway and I can work in some kino there and on the way back. I don't even know her that well, maybe 5 minutes of convo max so far. I laid some heavy kino as we were dancing/grinding. Grabbing her hand and leading her on and off the dance floor, hands on the hips, and quick goodbye hug (can't hang around too long and look needy.)
 
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